Since country music is the repository of all truth in this part of the country, I offer this country tune, with apologies to the Beatles (their famous chorus was just too good not to use).<\/p>\n
LB\u2019S<\/p>\n
It sweepin cross America,
The plague of pulchritude
Its gripped the whole nation
The bare facts are quite rude,
We\u2019ve put on pounds around our waist
That we cannot divest
And when we weren\u2019t a lookin
We got a sunken chest<\/p>\n
Sometimes they say Dunlop disease
Is what we call it now,
When you\u2019re spare tire hangs out that far
Don\u2019t need a belt no how
My waist has wasted more and more
Can\u2019t see the scales today
And while my jeans burst at the seams
I\u2019ve got the guts to say\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n
CHORUS (ala Beatles)
Boy, you gotta carry that weight
carry that weight a long time
Girl you gotta carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time.<\/p>\n
They say its love handles,
Or \u2018your full figured now\u2019,
Or \u2018you are so pleasingly plump\u2019
Or \u2018you\u2019ve filled out somehow\u2019
It is a weighty matter,
When you can\u2019t wear your shorts
Your navel\u2019s horizontal
And you feel out of sorts<\/p>\n
Those calories on the lips
They say can devastate
Ten tons on the hips
You learn this all too late.
They call it now middle aged
I never knew just why
Its cause my middle now has aged
And it\u2019s too late to cry\u2026<\/p>\n
CHORUS<\/p>\n
Chest of drawers disease is here
Spreading through the land
That\u2019s when your chest falls in your drawers
and you fill out your can
Oh where is Jenny Craig just now
Or what can Atkins teach
Through Jazzercise I\u2019ll soon arrive
Upon that old South Beach<\/p>\n
I\u2019m watchin all my weight just now
I\u2019ve got it out in front,
I float much better in the pool,
My problem I\u2019ll confront
From carbs to calories to sweets
I \u2018ve got my just desserts
I gave up diets back in Lent
Cause starving always hurts.<\/p>\n
CHORUS<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Since country music is the repository of all truth in this part of the country, I offer this country tune, with apologies to the Beatles (their famous chorus was just too good not to use). LB\u2019S It sweepin cross America,The plague of pulchritudeIts gripped the whole nationThe bare facts are quite rude,We\u2019ve put on pounds…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":199,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-806","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\n