{"id":411,"date":"2007-11-10T16:22:00","date_gmt":"2007-11-10T16:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html"},"modified":"2007-11-10T16:22:00","modified_gmt":"2007-11-10T16:22:00","slug":"things-to-ponder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html","title":{"rendered":"Things to Ponder"},"content":{"rendered":"

My sister Laura gets full credit for sending me these things to ponder….. If none of them produces a smile, then you need to go eat a few prunes. <\/span>
——————<\/p>\n

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. <\/strong><\/span>

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. <\/strong><\/span>

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Why exactly is it that we drive on the parkway, and park on the drive way?
<\/strong><\/span>
<\/span>Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? <\/strong><\/span>

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. <\/strong><\/span>

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? <\/strong><\/span>
<\/span>
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?” <\/strong><\/span>

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its rear end.” <\/strong><\/span>

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/span>Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he’s going to look up there anyway? <\/strong><\/span>

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? <\/strong><\/span>

Why does it say ‘concentrate’ on the side of the orange juice can, if they really don’t want you to know what they’ve put in there?<\/p>\n

Why isn’t ‘jumbo shrimp’ widely recognized as an oxymoron?<\/p>\n

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?<\/strong><\/span> <\/strong><\/span>
<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My sister Laura gets full credit for sending me these things to ponder….. If none of them produces a smile, then you need to go eat a few prunes. —————— I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Garden Rule: When weeding, the best…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":199,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-411","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nThings to Ponder - The Bible and Culture<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Things to Ponder - The Bible and Culture\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My sister Laura gets full credit for sending me these things to ponder….. If none of them produces a smile, then you need to go eat a few prunes. —————— I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Garden Rule: When weeding, the best…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Bible and Culture\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-11-10T16:22:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Ben Witherington\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Things to Ponder - The Bible and Culture","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Things to Ponder - The Bible and Culture","og_description":"My sister Laura gets full credit for sending me these things to ponder….. If none of them produces a smile, then you need to go eat a few prunes. —————— I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Garden Rule: When weeding, the best…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html","og_site_name":"The Bible and Culture","article_published_time":"2007-11-10T16:22:00+00:00","author":"Ben Witherington","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html","name":"Things to Ponder - The Bible and Culture","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/#website"},"datePublished":"2007-11-10T16:22:00+00:00","dateModified":"2007-11-10T16:22:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/#\/schema\/person\/d1fd6c7893819eabc624db38ecfd8426"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2007\/11\/things-to-ponder.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Things to Ponder"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/","name":"The Bible and Culture","description":"All Things Biblical and Christian","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/#\/schema\/person\/d1fd6c7893819eabc624db38ecfd8426","name":"Ben Witherington","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/75e\/75ec11e1916a2008bc4cc638a0a0de2fx96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/75e\/75ec11e1916a2008bc4cc638a0a0de2fx96.jpg","caption":"Ben Witherington"},"description":"Bible scholar Ben Witherington is Amos Professor of New Testament for Doctoral Studies at Asbury Theological Seminary and on the doctoral faculty at St. Andrews University in Scotland. A graduate of UNC, Chapel Hill, he went on to receive the M.Div. degree from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and a Ph.D. from the University of Durham in England. He is now considered one of the top evangelical scholars in the world, and is an elected member of the prestigious SNTS, a society dedicated to New Testament studies. Witherington has also taught at Ashland Theological Seminary, Vanderbilt University, Duke Divinity School and Gordon-Conwell. A popular lecturer, Witherington has presented seminars for churches, colleges and biblical meetings not only in the United States but also in England, Estonia, Russia, Europe, South Africa, Zimbabwe and Australia. He has also led tours to Italy, Greece, Turkey, Israel, Jordan, and Egypt. Witherington has written over thirty books, including The Jesus Quest and The Paul Quest, both of which were selected as top biblical studies works by Christianity Today. He also writes for many church and scholarly publications, and is a frequent contributor to the Beliefnet website. Along with many interviews on radio networks across the country, Witherington has been seen on the History Channel, NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, The Discovery Channel, A&E, and the PAX Network.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/author\/bwitherington"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/411","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/199"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=411"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/411\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=411"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=411"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=411"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}