* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a<\/p>\n
rest.<\/p>\n
* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all<\/p>\n
right now.<\/p>\n
* The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.<\/p>\n
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.<\/p>\n
* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.<\/p>\n
* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at<\/p>\n
large.<\/p>\n
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.<\/p>\n
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.<\/p>\n
* We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.<\/p>\n
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.<\/p>\n
* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
it.<\/p>\n
* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
ground.<\/p>\n
* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.<\/p>\n
* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.<\/p>\n
* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.<\/p>\n
* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.<\/p>\n
* A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.<\/p>\n
* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.<\/p>\n
* A backward poet writes inverse.<\/p>\n
* In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your
Count that votes.<\/p>\n
* A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.<\/p>\n
* If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.<\/p>\n
* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.<\/p>\n
* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A -flat
miner.<\/p>\n
* When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.<\/p>\n
* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.<\/p>\n
* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum
Blownapart.<\/p>\n
* You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.<\/p>\n
* He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.<\/p>\n
* A calendar’s days are numbered.<\/p>\n
* A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.<\/p>\n
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.<\/p>\n
* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.<\/p>\n
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.<\/p>\n
* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.<\/p>\n
* When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.<\/p>\n
* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.<\/p>\n
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.<\/p>\n
* Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.<\/p>\n
* Acupuncture: a jab well done<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. * Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now. * The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. * To write with a broken pencil is pointless. * When…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":199,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-396","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\n