{"id":461,"date":"2011-07-17T10:45:34","date_gmt":"2011-07-17T14:45:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondgorgeous\/?p=461"},"modified":"2011-07-17T10:52:19","modified_gmt":"2011-07-17T14:52:19","slug":"the-giant-rat-parade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondgorgeous\/2011\/07\/the-giant-rat-parade.html","title":{"rendered":"The Giant Rat Parade"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve been enjoying three of our grandsons while their parents are away, celebrating their anniversary with a trip to Colorado.\u00a0 Staying in their home and keeping up with young children has reminded me of what my life used to be like about 25 years ago or so.\u00a0 I remember one July day back then.\u00a0 I wrote about it later and it was published by The Minister\u2019s Family <\/em>magazine. \u00a0 I thought you might enjoy reading it – so here it is for my special Sunday message.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The Giant Rat Parade<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cMom, there\u2019s a giant rat in the garbage can!\u201d Five-year-old Paul stood in the back doorway, still clutching the bag of trash I had sent him to throw away.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll deal with imaginary monsters later,\u201d I said. \u201cWe\u2019ll never make it to Sunday School on time at this rate.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut there is<\/em> a giant rat. Come and see!\u201d With a sigh of impatience, I followed him out the back door and lifted the lid from the garbage can.\u00a0 A giant rat looked up at me from the bottom of the can. It was the size of a half-grown cat.\u00a0 I clapped the lid back on again and dashed for the phone.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have to come home right now!\u201d I shouted as soon as my husband Paul answered the church phone. \u201cThere\u2019s a giant rat in our garbage can!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll have to take care of it,\u201d he said with inhuman callousness. \u201cThe air conditioner is out and I don\u2019t have much time to get it going before the services start.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you call Brother Myers? He\u2019s the deacon in charge of maintenance.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d Paul sounded harassed. \u201cI called, but he doesn\u2019t know how soon he can get here. I\u2019ll have to try to get it going myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what about the rat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust put the lid on the can and I\u2019ll take care of it later.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it\u2019s hot out there. It\u2019ll smother in the trash can or die of thirst before you can take care of it. Even a rat shouldn\u2019t suffer a death like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen turn it loose.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd have it get in the house? Something has to be done about it now!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen you\u2019ll have to do it,\u201d he snapped. \u201cI\u2019ve got my hands full here.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the worst thing about being married to a pastor<\/em>, I thought as I slammed the receiver down. There\u2019s always a church need that comes before mine. I might as well be a single mother.\u00a0 All right,<\/em> I thought, I have to get rid of the rat myself, so that\u2019s what I\u2019ll do. If I get rabies, it will serve him right.<\/em><\/p>\n

I stomped back out the back door and jerked the lid off the can. The rat was still there. It looked up at me with it\u2019s beady black eyes. It didn\u2019t look quite so revolting — kind of furry, actually. Then it moved slightly and switched it\u2019s slimy rat tail.\u00a0 I slammed the lid back on it disgust.\u00a0 What on earth was I going to do with the horrible thing?<\/p>\n

Suddenly I had a brilliant idea. What do you with unwanted animals? You call animal control. So I called them.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need someone to come right away, \u201cI said in my most assertive tone.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s a giant rat in my trash can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Ma\u2019am but this is Sunday — and the Fourth of July. We don\u2019t have an officer on duty. We can only send someone out if it\u2019s an emergency\u201d<\/p>\n

I was already mad and his tone of casual unconcern made me boil over. \u201cThen send him out. This is<\/em> an emergency!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHas the rat bitten anyone?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot yet–but I have several small children. If that rat gets out and bites one of them, the world will hear about this phone call. I\u2019m sure it has rabies or something. It look unnatural, sitting there so still.\u201d<\/p>\n

Evidently I convinced him, because he promised to contact the officer on call.<\/p>\n

I rushed the children into their Sunday clothes, peeking into the trash can at regular intervals. The rat was still there.<\/p>\n

The animal control officer arrived in record time, but he did not look happy. It was plain that he didn\u2019t appreciate being awakened early on his day off to come on a wild goose — er, rat chase.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what you expect me to do,\u201d he grumbled. \u201cWe\u2019re not equipped for catching rats. If there is<\/em> a rat in the trash can, all I can do it turn it loose.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere certainly is<\/em> a rat in the rash can — a huge one.\u00a0 And you\u2019d better not even think of turning it loose. What if it got into my house?\u201d<\/p>\n

The made a reply under his breath that I did not ask him to repeat.<\/p>\n

By then the neighborhood kids were gathering to see what was going on. Also, Mrs. Lloyd from down the street showed up in a bathrobe and curlers assuming the animal control had come to pick up the stray dog she had kept in her yard for the last week. She was irate when the man replied that he was there only on a emergency call to chase a stupid rat. He wasn\u2019t picking up any dog. She would have to wait until the next week.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve waiting a week already!\u201d she shrieked.\u00a0 \u201cSince you\u2019re here, there\u2019s no reason why you can\u2019t take the dog, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

I led the way to the trash can in the backyard, with the sullen animal control officer stomping grumpily behind me. Mrs. Lloyd was right behind him, giving him her opinion of the city\u2019s animal control system. Seven or eight neighborhood kids — not counting my own four — filed into the backyard after them.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere it is,\u201d I said, lifting the lid with a flourish. \u201cIs that or is that not the biggest rat you have ever seen?\u201d<\/p>\n

Heads bonked as too many people bent over the trash can at the same time. Then, to our shock and horror, the man reached into the can and pulled that giant rat out by the tail.<\/p>\n

\u201cLady,\u201d he said, dangling the creature upside down in the air. \u201cThis ain\u2019t no rat.\u00a0 This is just a little old \u2018possum.\u00a0 A \u2018possum won\u2019t hurt nobody.\u201d<\/p>\n

As he said those fateful words, the opossum curled up like a yo-yo- on a string and bit the man on his hand. He dropped it and the opossum was off. The officer grabbed his net and was after it in a flash. Mrs. Lloyd was right\u00a0 behind him, still wagging her finger and giving him \u201cwhat-for\u201d about that he dog he wouldn\u2019t pick up. The neighborhood kids — by now numbering over a dozen —\u00a0 were hot on his heels, and I, with the baby on my hip and my three-year-old clinging to my skirt-tail, brought up the rear.<\/p>\n

The \u2018possum ducked around the house and headed straight down the middle of Thirty-Ninth Terrace — with the whole entourage following like a weird Fourth of July parade.\u00a0 At the end of the cul-de-sac was a busy street. The opossum evidently decided not to risk the traffic and made a U-turn. The parade, by now consisting of all the neighborhood kids and several more adults, became a colossal dog pile as the front of the parade turned and ran over the rearguard. With Olympic spirit, everyone was back on his feet and the parade streamed back down Thirty-Ninth Terrace, the opossum still leading the pack, followed by the animal control officer and the neighbors, with the baby, the three-year-old, and me still bringing up the rear. Bu now all the neighbors who weren\u2019t in the parade were watching from their front porches. Some were cheering. I don\u2019t know who they were rooting for – the opossum, the animal control officer, or possibly even Mrs. Lloyd.<\/p>\n

At the end of the street the officer made a lucky swipe with his net and scooped up the exhausted animal.<\/p>\n

The exercise seemed to have been good for the man. He no longer looked glum and grouchy. \u201cThose \u2018possums can be mean, and they do carry rabies sometimes, he graciously told me. \u201cIt\u2019s a good thing you called me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The neighbors were loud in their congratulations. That made him feel so good that he even took Mrs. Lloyd\u2019s stray dog with him as he left.<\/p>\n

By then we were woefully behind our Sunday morning schedule, and it took another race to get the Brown crew into the car and to the church\u00a0 — barely on time for Sunday School.\u00a0 We entered the building at the same time the Myers family did.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry I couldn\u2019t get here earlier to help with the air conditioning problem,\u201d Brother Myers said as he shook Paul\u2019s hand. \u201cI had to help the wife get the baby ready. You know how it is when you have kids.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul glanced down at the two-year-old who had required both parents to get him ready for church, and looked at our crew of four — all under seven years of age. He didn\u2019t say a word, but the smile he gave me as he lifted the baby from my arms made me ashamed of the angry thoughts I had harbored earlier.<\/p>\n

After all, the Lord had called me to be a helpmeet to this dedicated pastor-husband of mine. Some pastors might require helpmeets who could speak eloquently or entertain graciously or sing beautiful, uplifting songs.\u00a0 I could do none of those things, but my particular husband needed most what I could <\/em>do. He needed someone to be dependable, someone who could carry on without him always being there to oversee things. He needed a wife who could take care of unimportant details and give him space so that he could take care of the pressing matters of preaching and teaching and leading a flock. That\u2019s something I could give him — a job I could do well. I was filled with remorse that I had done it so grudgingly that day.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened with the rat?\u201d Paul asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI took care of it,\u201d I replied with a smile. \u201cNo problem.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve been enjoying three of our grandsons while their parents are away, celebrating their anniversary with a trip to Colorado.\u00a0 Staying in their home and keeping up with young children has reminded me of what my life used to be like about 25 years ago or so.\u00a0 I remember one July day back then.\u00a0 I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":423,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[81,79,78,80],"class_list":["post-461","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-acceptance","tag-children","tag-family","tag-rat"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Giant Rat Parade - Beyond Gorgeous<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondgorgeous\/2011\/07\/the-giant-rat-parade.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Giant Rat Parade - 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