{"id":7038,"date":"2013-04-04T06:25:28","date_gmt":"2013-04-04T10:25:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/?p=7038"},"modified":"2012-12-02T16:39:35","modified_gmt":"2012-12-02T21:39:35","slug":"manic-one-day-at-a-time-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2013\/04\/manic-one-day-at-a-time-2.html","title":{"rendered":"Manic: One Day at a Time"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>The epilogue of Terri Cheney’s bestselling book “Manic”<\/a> is great reading for any manic depressive.<\/p>\n

I’m sitting in my favorite caf\u00e9, writing a line, crossing it out. Writing a line, crossing it out. My soft-boiled egg will be cold by the time I get around to cracking its shell. My latte will have lost its foam. I don’t care. I’ve had the best meals of my life here in this little caf\u00e9, writing and crossing it out.<\/p>\n

The waiters know by now not to disturb me. I sit for hours (I tip really well), hunting for just the right word, the right rhythm to express what I hear inside my head. Some days I never find it. The man at the next table laughs too loudly. Dishes rattle in the kitchen. A woman walks by on her way to the bathroom, her stilettos clicking. I tear the page off my legal pad, and crumple it up in disgust. But I don’t despair. Even at my most discouraged, I don’t despair.<\/p>\n

For this day, at least, I’m sane, and I’m writing, and that’s a glorious thing.<\/p>\n

It’s all you can really count on when you’re manic-depressive: this day, and no more. But the days add up. To my surprise, it’s been several years since I’ve had a full-blown manic episode, longer still since I’ve tried to commit suicide. Stability feels like such a precarious thing, dependent on just the right dose by just the right doctor. But still, somehow I’ve found it\u2014at least long enough to spend another afternoon in the little caf\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Life is not easy, but it’s simpler now. I no longer want to fly kites in a thunderstorm. I have no interest in dancing a tango with the riptide. I can leave my best friend’s boyfriend alone. But I would like to see Santa Fe again. This time in summer, I think.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Click here<\/a> to subscribe to Beyond Blue<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The epilogue of Terri Cheney’s bestselling book “Manic” is great reading for any manic depressive. I’m sitting in my favorite caf\u00e9, writing a line, crossing it out. Writing a line, crossing it out. My soft-boiled egg will be cold by the time I get around to cracking its shell. My latte will have lost its…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health"],"yoast_head":"\nManic: One Day at a Time - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Manic: One Day at a Time - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The epilogue of Terri Cheney’s bestselling book “Manic” is great reading for any manic depressive. I’m sitting in my favorite caf\u00e9, writing a line, crossing it out. Writing a line, crossing it out. My soft-boiled egg will be cold by the time I get around to cracking its shell. 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