{"id":701,"date":"2007-12-10T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-12-10T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2007\/12\/dear-god-on-regaining-innocenc.html"},"modified":"2007-12-10T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-12-10T11:00:00","slug":"dear-god-on-regaining-innocenc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/12\/dear-god-on-regaining-innocenc.html","title":{"rendered":"Dear God: On Regaining Innocence"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear God,
\nThe prophet Isaiah paints a beautiful picture in today\u2019s reading (Isaiah 11:1-10):<\/p>\n

On that day, a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom. The spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him: a spirit of wisdom and of understanding, a spirit of counsel and of strength, a spirit of knowledge and of fear of the Lord, and his delight shall be the fear of the Lord. \u2026 Then the wolf shall be a guest of the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; the calf and the young lion shall browse together, with a little child to guide them. The cow and the bear shall be neighbors, together their young shall rest; the lion shall eat hay like the ox. The baby shall play by the cobra\u2019s den, and the child lay his hand on the adder\u2019s lair.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That\u2019s really nice, God. But come on. In this world?
\nDo you mean that one day Tom Cruise will serve on the board of NAMI, the National Alliance of the Mentally Ill?<\/a>
\nThat medical intuitives and pharmaceutical reps will gather around the lunch table and swap business cards?
\nThat insurance companies will pay for mental-health services?
\nThat Rhonda Byrnes, author of \u201cThe Secret,\u201d<\/a> will lead a workshop on compassion \u2026 on why the raped women of Sudan didn\u2019t cause their fate by bad thoughts, and why wiping ourselves clean of the world\u2019s injustices is irresponsible, to say the least?
\nThat the organic Red Delicious apples, the locally-grown Pink Lady apples, and the Braeburns with every kind of pesticide on them might all be found in one grocery store, because they wouldn\u2019t be all that different from each other?<\/p>\n


\nThat there would be no headsets necessary at the UN because everyone would understand each other perfectly?
\nThat the working moms and stay-at-home moms would all put down their guns and call it a truce, and that the decision to breastfeed, bottle-feed, or make your baby cry it out in the middle of the night wouldn\u2019t matter?
\nThat Fox News viewers might sit down in front of a 50-inch plasma flat-screen TV with CNN-ers, with those who watch Jim Lehrer?
\nThat those who believe yoga and meditation is enough to treat schizophrenia get a chance to lead group therapy at Sheppard Pratt Hospital?
\nOkay, you get the idea. I know where you\u2019re going with this, God. You want us to become like children, again. To have child-like faith. To trust. Just because.
\nThis whole description of animals lying down peacefully next to each other is about the message in Hebrews 11:1: \u201cFaith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.\u201d It is about becoming innocent once again.
\nCanadian author Thomas C. Haliburton<\/a> once wrote that \u201cinnocence is always unsuspicious.\u201d
\nI remember the precise moment that I stopped trusting, that my soul grew up.
\nThe evening of St. Patrick\u2019s Day my junior year in high school I downed shots of Everclear, a highly flammable brand of ethanol with a concentration of up to 95 percent alcohol or 190 proof. (Rum and vodka usually contain 40 percent alcohol, or 80 proof.) The parents of my friend Sue were throwing a party like they did every year. Both Sue and her brother, a freshman at the University of Dayton, invited friends over to cocktail downstairs in the basement while their folks hosted happy hour upstairs. Then everyone under 21 who shouldn\u2019t have been drinking headed to the bars of the UD ghetto.
\nThat\u2019s where my memory ends: in a crowded sedan, where like 10 people were sitting on top of each other in the car. In my green miniskirt (for St. Patrick), I was sitting on the lap of a friend of Sue\u2019s brother.
\nMy next memory was waking up in some ghetto house full of beer cans, empty bottles, cigarette butts and roaches (marijuana butts). Later I saw that I had blood stains on my underwear.
\nMy first four thoughts in their proper order: I was raped. I could be pregnant. I can\u2019t have an abortion. My life is over.<\/em>
\nI sent Sue to do some investigating. A month later she reported there was absolutely no fowl play. And because I didn\u2019t want to believe differently, I didn\u2019t pursue it. But I can never be sure what happened that night.
\nThat\u2019s a significant part of why I quit drinking at the tender age of 18. I never want to wake up like that again.
\nSo how does a good Catholic trusting girl walk backwards from something like that and believe once again in the inherent goodness of all people?
\nThe other night Katherine was asking me all kinds of questions about God. \u201cMommy,\u201d she said, grabbing my face and turning it toward hers, \u201cDoes God have long hair?\u201d
\nI didn’t say anything for 20 seconds and then replied, “I don’t know.”
\nHow do I get back to that place, God, of wondering about your hair? How do I regain my innocence, so that, putting all logic aside, I can imagine Tom Cruise giving NAMI\u2019s keynote address at this year\u2019s conference. And I smile.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear God, The prophet Isaiah paints a beautiful picture in today\u2019s reading (Isaiah 11:1-10): On that day, a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom. The spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him: a spirit of wisdom and of understanding, a spirit of counsel and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inspiration-and-prayer"],"yoast_head":"\nDear God: On Regaining Innocence - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/12\/dear-god-on-regaining-innocenc.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear God: On Regaining Innocence - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear God, The prophet Isaiah paints a beautiful picture in today\u2019s reading (Isaiah 11:1-10): On that day, a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom. 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