{"id":690,"date":"2007-12-06T10:45:00","date_gmt":"2007-12-06T10:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2007\/12\/number-51-how-to-keep-your-lov.html"},"modified":"2007-12-06T10:45:00","modified_gmt":"2007-12-06T10:45:00","slug":"number-51-how-to-keep-your-lov","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/12\/number-51-how-to-keep-your-lov.html","title":{"rendered":"Number 51: How to Keep Your Lover"},"content":{"rendered":"

You really should read through some of the comments on “Dear God: 40 Ways to Keep Your Lover<\/a>.” They\u2019re quite funny. And some have compiled their own lists, which are hysterical, like this one from reader Jill:<\/p>\n

Holy Moly! No wonder you are depressed if you try to live up to all these rules and regulations to keep a man happy or to keep him at all.
\nHere’s the first six of my list for men to follow.
\n1. Wipe the pee off the seat, Pete.?
\n2. If the clothes pile up, wash a load, Toad.?
\n3. If you want a hot meal, cook one, Son.?
\n4. If she ain\u2019t in the mood for sex, leave her alone, Sloan.?
\n5. Don\u2019t pout, Snout.?
\n6. Give her some space, Ace!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I wrote Jill to tell her that I really liked her list and that, when she saw my list for men, she would think I stole her \u201cwipe the pee\u201d one, but that I had come up with it all on my own. I swear!
\nThen she wrote back to me with #51, which is a classic:”If you snore, I’m going to another room and you should not get pissy and pouty about it — you’re the one with the snore, Albacore!!!”
\nWhat do you think, any more we should add to the list???<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You really should read through some of the comments on “Dear God: 40 Ways to Keep Your Lover.” They\u2019re quite funny. And some have compiled their own lists, which are hysterical, like this one from reader Jill: Holy Moly! No wonder you are depressed if you try to live up to all these rules and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-690","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage"],"yoast_head":"\nNumber 51: How to Keep Your Lover - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/12\/number-51-how-to-keep-your-lov.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Number 51: How to Keep Your Lover - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You really should read through some of the comments on “Dear God: 40 Ways to Keep Your Lover.” They\u2019re quite funny. 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No wonder you are depressed if you try to live up to all these rules and…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/12\/number-51-how-to-keep-your-lov.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-12-06T10:45:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Number 51: How to Keep Your Lover - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/12\/number-51-how-to-keep-your-lov.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Number 51: How to Keep Your Lover - Beyond Blue","og_description":"You really should read through some of the comments on “Dear God: 40 Ways to Keep Your Lover.” They\u2019re quite funny. 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