Aeschylus\u2019s “Prometheus Bound”<\/a> back in college, so I\u2019m grasping at literary themes much like an engineering major thrown into English Lit 101.<\/p>\nThis part I get: a woman can\u2019t keep her husband happy. In Luke 20:27-38, a woman goes through seven husbands. SEVEN husbands, God! After the first died, she married the second, and then the third, fourth, and so on.<\/p>\n
I want to know what the hell she was feeding them, and how she handled the wrath of her mother-in-law, who must have lived in a therapist\u2019s office her remaining days to process the anger she felt toward a broad who managed to kill all seven of her sons.<\/p>\n
My guess is this: the wife was bipolar and refused to get treated. That\u2019s one sure way to bury a husband.<\/p>\n
So, I think today\u2019s lesson is to keep your spouse alive and healthy. At the risk of sounding like a country song played backwards–I got my house back, got my wife back, got my truck back\u2014here is a list of suggestions I came up with to keep a husband happy.
\nYour feedback would be most appreciated.<\/p>\n
\n1. Skip the polyester, Ester
\n2. No casserole, Nicole
\n3. Sleep with him twice a week, Monique
\n4. Let him drive a new car, Star
\n5. Laugh with him, Kim
\n6. Allow all-day NFL, Belle
\n7. Buy him candy, Sandy
\n8. Pray together, Heather
\n9. Wear sexy underwear, Cher
\n10. Make sure to kiss, Beatrice
\n11. Continue to date, Kate
\n12. Don\u2019t call him lazy, Daisy
\n13. Be his biggest fan, Ann
\n14. Keep taking your pill, April
\n15. Be nice to his ma, Alicia
\n16. Let him win, Lynn
\n17. Don\u2019t disappear, Blaire
\n18. More honesty, Destiny
\n19. Don’t obsess about money, Bunny
\n20. Color your hair, Claire
\n21. Don’t run, Autumn
\n22. Create something homemade, Jade
\n23. Say “I love you” daily, Bailey
\n24. His virtues try to see, Lee
\n25. Treat him like a king, Ling
\n26. Don\u2019t yell, Danielle
\n27. Give it a second shot, Charlotte
\n28. Brush off his dander, Amber
\n29. Hold him like a baby, Sadie
\n30. Love him past the bliss, Genesis
\n31. Pay his library fee, Dee
\n32. Eat lunch with him at the deli, Kelly
\n33. Don’t steal, Camille
\n34. Dress less scary, Sherry
\n35. Stop meeting boys in the alley, Sally
\n36. Water him like a tree, Marie
\n37. Try to sit still, Jill
\n38. Wear something racy, Stacey
\n39. Nurture his inner boy, Joy
\n40. Show him you care, Blair<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear God, I have to be honest. I understood this week\u2019s gospel about as well as I comprehended Sophocles\u2019s “Oedipus Rex” and Aeschylus\u2019s “Prometheus Bound” back in college, so I\u2019m grasping at literary themes much like an engineering major thrown into English Lit 101. This part I get: a woman can\u2019t keep her husband happy.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-629","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\n
Dear God: 40 Ways to Keep Your Lover - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/11\/dear-god-30-ways-to-keep-your.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear God: 40 Ways to Keep Your Lover - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear God, I have to be honest. I understood this week\u2019s gospel about as well as I comprehended Sophocles\u2019s “Oedipus Rex” and Aeschylus\u2019s “Prometheus Bound” back in college, so I\u2019m grasping at literary themes much like an engineering major thrown into English Lit 101. 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