{"id":578,"date":"2007-10-23T10:30:00","date_gmt":"2007-10-23T10:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html"},"modified":"2007-10-23T10:30:00","modified_gmt":"2007-10-23T10:30:00","slug":"like-depression-cancer-and-sel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html","title":{"rendered":"(Like Depression) Cancer and Self-Talk: If She Can, You Can!"},"content":{"rendered":"

In “Any Day with Hair Is a Good Hair Day<\/a>,” I loved the story about “The House of a Thousand Mirrors” that Michelle tells at the beginning of her section on “Maintaining a Positive Attitude without Feeling Like a Human Smiley Face.” If you knew Michelle, you\u2019d appreciate this tale even more, because Michelle isn\u2019t one of those people who will force a smile and say everything is dandy. When I sent her one of those gratitude chain-letters you get from so-called friends, her response was: “Therese, the author of this is an idiot!”
\nHere\u2019s her section on helpful self-talk that starts with the cool legend:<\/p>\n

\n

The House of a Thousand Mirrors<\/em>
\nLong ago in a tiny village, there was a place called the House of a Thousand Mirrors. A little dog decided to visit the house. He was an unhappy dog, and his natural expression was a cross between a scowl and a sneer. As he entered the large house, he saw a thousand mean- and scary-looking dogs staring back at him. He immediately backed away and let out a low growl to protect himself, and, just as he did, all one thousand of the mean dogs growled back at him. Of course he ran out of the house immediately and thought, “What a terrible place that is. I\u2019ll never go back there again.”
\nNot long afterward, another dog decided to visit the house. As he approached, he saw how beautiful and inviting it looked and couldn\u2019t wait to go inside. He smiled and wagged his tail in anticipation of his adventure. As he pushed open the door, he was greeted by a thousand dogs with wagging tails and big smiles approaching him. Of course he was thrilled; he had a thousand new friends he was sure would become his buddies.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n


\nThe moral of this folktale, of course, is that the world gives back to us what we give out to the world. That\u2019s not to say we should pretend that everything\u2019s great, when in fact we\u2019re going through one of the hardest challenges of our lives. But it is true that the more positive you can be right now, the more smiling puppies you\u2019ll have to cheer you on.
\nOften, in an effort to make you feel better, people will say some pretty annoying things; \u201cinfuriating\u201d is probably a more accurate term. Having cancer is NOT a blessing in disguise. The fact that you don\u2019t have a worse cancer is not terribly comforting. As wonderful as it is to learn how many people love and care about you, there are other ways to learn that that aren\u2019t nearly as dangerous, devastating, or life-altering as having cancer.
\nBut there are some things that are true and can bring comfort and a new perspective on this crummy situation. These are some that have been of help:
\n\u2022\tA year from today this will behind me.<\/em>
\n\u2022\tA year from today, I\u2019ll have hair!<\/em>
\n\u2022\tMy lack of hair means that the chemo is working.<\/em>
\n\u2022\tI am not a statistic.<\/em>
\n\u2022\tI am the CEO of my health.<\/em> I have control over many things, and this is the time for me to take hold of and maintain and use that power.
\n\u2022\tThere are more people who care deeply and want to support me now than perhaps at any future time in my life. <\/em>I need to accept their generosity, and one day I will reciprocate. If they sometimes say dumb things, it\u2019s because they\u2019re frightened on my behalf. I need to give them the benefit of the doubt and accept with grace their stabs at comforting me.
\n\u2022\tCancer is not a death sentence.<\/em> In fact, more people die of heart disease every year than of cancer. Yet we don\u2019t view people with heart disease as living under the specter of death. Just because an idea is commonly believed, that doesn\u2019t make it true.
\n\u2022\tJust because your prognosis is better than mine doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019ll outlive me! <\/em>Granted, this is a little hard-nosed, and it\u2019s probably better if you don\u2019t go around saying it to people. But the truth is nobody knows what will happen next week, or tomorrow, or in an hour.
\n\u2022\tCancer sucks.<\/em> There are pins, T-shirts, and baseball caps that say “CANCER SUCKS.” It\u2019s short and to the point, and in my opinion, sums up the situation to a tee. For some mysterious reason, it made me feel better just to say those two little words ever now and then.
\n\u2022\tI\u2019m going to make cancer history.<\/em> (Get it? Make cancer history \u2026)
\n\u2022\tJust because I\u2019m not cured yet, it doesn\u2019t mean that I can\u2019t experience healing.<\/em> As you know, there isn\u2019t a lot about cancer that could be called “beneficial.” But like many other hard experiences in life, even this terrible journey can be\u2014in fact, often is\u2014a catalyst for healing in areas that will serve us well both in the short run and the long run. Chances are you\u2019ve already experienced an outpouring of care and kindness from others whom you wouldn\u2019t have expected to be so giving. Cancer causes us to reexamine our priorities and often triggers new, healthier decisions about where we will spend our energy and emotions.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In “Any Day with Hair Is a Good Hair Day,” I loved the story about “The House of a Thousand Mirrors” that Michelle tells at the beginning of her section on “Maintaining a Positive Attitude without Feeling Like a Human Smiley Face.” If you knew Michelle, you\u2019d appreciate this tale even more, because Michelle isn\u2019t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health"],"yoast_head":"\n(Like Depression) Cancer and Self-Talk: If She Can, You Can! - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"(Like Depression) Cancer and Self-Talk: If She Can, You Can! - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In “Any Day with Hair Is a Good Hair Day,” I loved the story about “The House of a Thousand Mirrors” that Michelle tells at the beginning of her section on “Maintaining a Positive Attitude without Feeling Like a Human Smiley Face.” If you knew Michelle, you\u2019d appreciate this tale even more, because Michelle isn\u2019t…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-10-23T10:30:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"(Like Depression) Cancer and Self-Talk: If She Can, You Can! - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"(Like Depression) Cancer and Self-Talk: If She Can, You Can! - Beyond Blue","og_description":"In “Any Day with Hair Is a Good Hair Day,” I loved the story about “The House of a Thousand Mirrors” that Michelle tells at the beginning of her section on “Maintaining a Positive Attitude without Feeling Like a Human Smiley Face.” If you knew Michelle, you\u2019d appreciate this tale even more, because Michelle isn\u2019t…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html","og_site_name":"Beyond Blue","article_published_time":"2007-10-23T10:30:00+00:00","author":"Beyond Blue","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html","name":"(Like Depression) Cancer and Self-Talk: If She Can, You Can! - Beyond Blue","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website"},"datePublished":"2007-10-23T10:30:00+00:00","dateModified":"2007-10-23T10:30:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/like-depression-cancer-and-sel.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"(Like Depression) Cancer and Self-Talk: If She Can, You Can!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/","name":"Beyond Blue","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Therese J. 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