{"id":561,"date":"2007-10-16T10:15:28","date_gmt":"2007-10-16T10:15:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/tumor-rhymes-with-humor.html"},"modified":"2007-10-16T10:15:28","modified_gmt":"2007-10-16T10:15:28","slug":"tumor-rhymes-with-humor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/tumor-rhymes-with-humor.html","title":{"rendered":"Tumor Rhymes With Humor"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Tomorrow my very good friend Michelle\u2019s book on cancer, &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/1599957051\/beliefnet\">Any Day With Hair Is a Good Hair Day: How to Get Through Cancer and Get On with Your Life (Trust Me, I&#8217;ve Been There)<\/a>,&#8221; is released! I\u2019ll talk about it more next week, because she has a section devoted to people afflicted by both cancer and depression.<br \/>\nBut I had to mention her today while I\u2019m discussing humor because she is one of the funniest people I have ever met. She was able to make me laugh when I was crying Niagara Falls.<br \/>\nFor example, the day after I told her about my pituitary tumor (which, in hindsight isn\u2019t a big deal \u2026 because it\u2019s benign \u2026 but for a few days there, I was a tad wigged out), she sent me the following e-mail:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Dear New Member:<br \/>\nWelcome to ACTS &#8211; the Association of Card-carrying Tumor Sufferers.<br \/>\nThere are all kinds of benefits to being a member of this elite organization, and your TRIAL MEMBERSHIP is free*.<br \/>\nIf you&#8217;re not happy with it any time, ask your doctor to write us a note saying that your discontent is not being caused by your tumor, and we will cancel your free membership  &#8211; free of charge &#8211;  immediately.<br \/>\nMembership benefits include:<br \/>\n&#8211; your personalized ATCs Membership Card, which is attached to a string for easy access. You can pull out the card with ease any time<br \/>\n&#8211; you want to get out of a commitment, make an excuse about a commitment you didn&#8217;t keep, or if you just want to make somebody feel bad!<br \/>\nYou&#8217;ll be amazed at all of the ways you&#8217;ll use it.<br \/>\n&#8211;  saying you have a headache &amp; they&#8217;ll have to believe you<br \/>\n&#8211;  being let in to the front of any line by holding your head &amp; saying, &#8220;it&#8217;s really nothing, just my tumor acting up again&#8221;<br \/>\nJOIN NOW and we&#8217;ll send you a free jumbo aspirin bottle filled with mints to carry in your purse.  Take 5 or 6 at one time and everyone will think you&#8221;re taking industrial quantities of aspirin.  (even MORE sympathy&#8230;who knows? maybe somebody will even give you some cash  or a gift certificate to Saks just to cheer you up).<br \/>\nAnd remember,  now you can commit random ACTS of any kind &amp; people will still have to like you.<br \/>\n* &#8211; for 90 days.  We figure if you make it that long, you&#8217;ll be around for a while<br \/>\nSincerely,<br \/>\nRIME SMITH YOUMER<br \/>\nPresident<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>More on Michelle next week, but I thought you\u2019d all like that one! And if you know anyone afflicted with cancer, get her a copy of &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/1599957051\/beliefnet\">Any Day With Hair Is a Good Hair Day.<\/a>&#8221; It just may make her laugh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tomorrow my very good friend Michelle\u2019s book on cancer, &#8220;Any Day With Hair Is a Good Hair Day: How to Get Through Cancer and Get On with Your Life (Trust Me, I&#8217;ve Been There),&#8221; is released! I\u2019ll talk about it more next week, because she has a section devoted to people afflicted by both cancer&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Tumor Rhymes With Humor - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/tumor-rhymes-with-humor.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tumor Rhymes With Humor - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Tomorrow my very good friend Michelle\u2019s book on cancer, &#8220;Any Day With Hair Is a Good Hair Day: How to Get Through Cancer and Get On with Your Life (Trust Me, I&#8217;ve Been There),&#8221; is released! I\u2019ll talk about it more next week, because she has a section devoted to people afflicted by both cancer&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/tumor-rhymes-with-humor.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-10-16T10:15:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Tumor Rhymes With Humor - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/10\/tumor-rhymes-with-humor.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Tumor Rhymes With Humor - Beyond Blue","og_description":"Tomorrow my very good friend Michelle\u2019s book on cancer, &#8220;Any Day With Hair Is a Good Hair Day: How to Get Through Cancer and Get On with Your Life (Trust Me, I&#8217;ve Been There),&#8221; is released! 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Borchard","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75","name":"Beyond Blue","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/45c\/45c6e619a20a364bd981e9dda64eaa02x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/45c\/45c6e619a20a364bd981e9dda64eaa02x96.jpg","caption":"Beyond Blue"},"description":"Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet.com. She is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression &amp; Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist. 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