{"id":5559,"date":"2012-07-23T06:28:37","date_gmt":"2012-07-23T10:28:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/?p=5559"},"modified":"2012-03-10T21:15:08","modified_gmt":"2012-03-11T03:15:08","slug":"why-does-god-make-it-so-hard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html","title":{"rendered":"Why Does God Make It So Hard?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This post is from last year this time.<\/em><\/p>\n

A Beyond Blue<\/a> reader wrote to me the other day and asked, \u201cHow do you know that you are on the right path, and that God approves? Because if He did, why would he make the path so hard?\u201d<\/p>\n

I responded with these three words: I don\u2019t know<\/em>.<\/p>\n

I have been asking myself the same question for the last year, ever since the financial situation at home has compromised my ability to do what I think is my vocation and calling: mainly, writing Beyond Blue, and providing an ounce of hope to people suffering mega pain from depression, anxiety, or another crippling mood disorder. <\/p>\n

For awhile, everything was peachy. Eric was gainfully employed. We had group health insurance through his company. I was paid a nice wage from Beliefnet so that I could devote 30 to 35 hours a week to composing two to four comprehensive, well-researched, and carefully crafted posts a day. And I received two nice advances from a major publishing house to write books that supplemented that income. <\/p>\n

And then the bomb hit.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Eric\u2019s work slowed down and has nearly all but evaporated. We lost the group health care coverage, which means I have to make an additional $40,000 a year to pay for our health care costs. With the sale of Beliefnet, my salary was cut in half. (Which is not an indictment against the owners, as their budget cuts are merely representative of the industry at this time.) And my books did not sell well, which makes it extremely difficult to secure another book contract, or at least one that pays a nice advance. <\/p>\n

My list of roadblocks is not meant to elicit pity. I present them merely as a consolation to you that I am there with you. I have heard from enough of you to know that you are really struggling, especially in this economy. I hear your pain and appreciate it, because I\u2019m going through my own. I\u2019m frustrated alongside the reader who asked me why God is making it so hard.<\/p>\n

I know what I am supposed to be doing\u2014devoting more time and attention to Beyond Blue, speaking to groups about coping strategies, and answering emails of persons in need\u2014and yet I don’t have the time or resources to do that. Like many of you, I\u2019m handcuffed as I try to pursue my mission and ministry\u2026what I think God created me to do. I\u2019m tired. I\u2019m pissed off at God. I\u2019m confused. And I might even throw out a WTF?<\/p>\n

While I don\u2019t have an answer to this reader, I can tell her what prevents me from getting bitter: remembering the collective suffering of human beings everywhere. I can progress to a place of relative peace if I adhere to spiritual author Henri Nouwen\u2019s directive: to move from MY pain to THE pain \u2026 to live in solidarity with the hungry, homeless, imprisoned, sick, and dying\u2026with the suffering of all humanity.<\/p>\n

I know that sounds awfully dark, but it keeps my perspective in check. <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have to look far to see all the suffering around me. And I have yet to find someone with whom I want to exchange crosses. When I read your emails and your comments on my posts (I do read them all and appreciate them very much), I am humbled by your pain. Everyday I read something from one or more of you that makes me realize how good I have it, even thought it feels hard to me. I empathize, especially, for those of you who live with chronic illnesses, chronic pain, chronic fatigue. Major yuck.<\/p>\n

And on the days I don\u2019t log on to read your stories, I am surrounded by hardship of friends and relatives around me. My twin sister has a special-needs child that requires a kind of patience that she didn\u2019t know she had until he came along. A friend of mine just lost her husband to suicide. She has a four-year-old to raise by herself now. Another friend lost her two year old in a boating accident three years ago. I can\u2019t imagine \u2026<\/p>\n

I guess these are the times when our faith is tested, when we can interpret that quote from Hebrews in a new light: \u201cFaith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.\u201d Or, as a good friend put it when her husband died unexpectedly, \u201cFaith wouldn\u2019t be faith without a backup plan.\u201d<\/p>\n

One other thing I wanted to address before you start your week. <\/p>\n

A reader whom I respect and like recently inquired why Beyond Blue<\/a> isn\u2019t as complete as it used to be. Her comment made me sad, because, on some level, I know it\u2019s true, and I wanted to explain why. <\/p>\n

As mentioned above, I used to have 35 hours to devote to my posts, which meant I could afford to publish two to four pieces a day and dig within myself for the good stuff. I try to do that now, of course, but I am much more rushed. I am presently working three jobs, so I have a third of the time as I did in the past to craft and load my posts. So it\u2019s not that I have lost interest in Beyond Blue<\/a> at all. As I explained to the reader, Beyond Blue<\/a> will always be my home, even if I publish on other sites. I feel a bond with you all that I just don\u2019t experience on any other site. However, because I don\u2019t have the luxury of more hours, I have been publishing more interviews and excerpting from new books because those posts require less time and don\u2019t demand the soul-searching writing that can\u2019t be hurried.<\/p>\n

Her question made me aware that I do need to invest more of myself into Beyond Blue<\/a>, as I did in the past, and I will try to make a conscious effort to that in future pieces. I am hoping to consolidate my jobs this year. I desperately want to simplify, although I don\u2019t know how that\u2019s going to happen. At any rate, my heart and soul are still very much here, and I have in no way lost interest or passion. I\u2019m just trying to figure out how I can write quality posts and pay for health care at the same time.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s, I suppose, where faith comes into play.<\/p>\n

Artwork by Anya Getter.<\/a><\/p>\n

* Click here to subscribe to Beyond Blue<\/b><\/a> and click here to follow Therese on Twitter<\/b><\/a> and click here to join Group Beyond Blue<\/b><\/a>, a depression support group. Now stop clicking.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This post is from last year this time. A Beyond Blue reader wrote to me the other day and asked, \u201cHow do you know that you are on the right path, and that God approves? Because if He did, why would he make the path so hard?\u201d I responded with these three words: I don\u2019t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5559","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inspiration-and-prayer"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Does God Make It So Hard? - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Does God Make It So Hard? - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This post is from last year this time. A Beyond Blue reader wrote to me the other day and asked, \u201cHow do you know that you are on the right path, and that God approves? Because if He did, why would he make the path so hard?\u201d I responded with these three words: I don\u2019t…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-23T10:28:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-03-11T02:15:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/2011\/07\/girl-with-balloon-3-240x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why Does God Make It So Hard? - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Why Does God Make It So Hard? - Beyond Blue","og_description":"This post is from last year this time. A Beyond Blue reader wrote to me the other day and asked, \u201cHow do you know that you are on the right path, and that God approves? Because if He did, why would he make the path so hard?\u201d I responded with these three words: I don\u2019t…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html","og_site_name":"Beyond Blue","article_published_time":"2012-07-23T10:28:37+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-03-11T02:15:08+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/2011\/07\/girl-with-balloon-3-240x300.jpg"}],"author":"Beyond Blue","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html","name":"Why Does God Make It So Hard? - Beyond Blue","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/2011\/07\/girl-with-balloon-3-240x300.jpg","datePublished":"2012-07-23T10:28:37+00:00","dateModified":"2012-03-11T02:15:08+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/2011\/07\/girl-with-balloon-3-240x300.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/2011\/07\/girl-with-balloon-3-240x300.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2012\/07\/why-does-god-make-it-so-hard.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Why Does God Make It So Hard?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/","name":"Beyond Blue","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Therese J. Borchard","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75","name":"Beyond Blue","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/45c\/45c6e619a20a364bd981e9dda64eaa02x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/45c\/45c6e619a20a364bd981e9dda64eaa02x96.jpg","caption":"Beyond Blue"},"description":"Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet.com. She is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist. You may find her at her personal blog, her website, or you may follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.","sameAs":["http:\/\/thereseborchard.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/author\/tborchard"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5559","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5559"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5559\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6596,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5559\/revisions\/6596"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}