{"id":465,"date":"2007-09-04T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-09-04T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html"},"modified":"2007-09-04T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-09-04T11:00:00","slug":"my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html","title":{"rendered":"My Inner Snow White: It’s Time to Let Go"},"content":{"rendered":"

You know that doll idea that I talked about in my “12 Ways to Wait for Recovery<\/a>” post? The object that was supposed to represent the scared little girl inside me, whom the more evolved and logical adult could console?
\nIt\u2019s not going so well.
\nMy guardian angel, Ann<\/a>, and I were supposed to go doll shopping during the Guardian Angel Reunion in Boston<\/a> a few weeks ago. But we were having too much fun catching up with Kitty Dukasis\u2019s psychiatrist at the pool<\/a>.
\nLast week when I was with my sisters, trying to get centered, ending up very frustrated (by the slow dial-up access to you guys)<\/a>, my mom gave Katherine a beautiful doll that was on sale at DeClarke\u2019s<\/a>. She also bought one for my sister\u2019s daughter, Natalie. But let\u2019s just say Natalie didn\u2019t like it (because she gets to go shopping often, very often). My sister has no anxiety inside Toys-R-Us like I do<\/a>.
\nSo I asked my mom if I could have it.<\/p>\n


\nPerfect! A doll from my mom to represent the scared Therese, and one that matches Katherine\u2019s. How special!
\n“What the hell is that?” Eric said, pointing to the bookshelf where Little Therese sat as we climbed into bed our first night back from vacation.
\n“Oh, that… She is Little Therese, who represents the scared and anxious child within me.”
\n“She\u2019s freaking me out,” Eric explained. “Can\u2019t we go to Toys-R-Us<\/a> and get you a doll from the Disney Princess series<\/a>? A nice Snow White<\/a> or Sleeping Beauty<\/a> or Belle<\/a>? Belle in her yellow dress is perfect<\/a>!
\n“Belle isn\u2019t insecure. And she\u2019s anorexic. With a D-cup chest.”
\n“That doll is freaky. That’s the freaky Therese. I\u2019m scared to close my eyes.”
\n“Now you know how I feel most of the time, and why I need a doll to represent the fear.”
\nThanks to my Beyond Blue<\/a> readers, I know I\u2019m not the only one who needs a doll.
\nReader Anita wrote on the message board of my “12 Ways to Wait for Recovery<\/a>” post that she, too, has a doll. And Blondie<\/a>, who I met at BlogHer (she was the one who said I could sit with her at that first social event that had me wigged out) <\/a>wrote this on the message board of my “Guardian Angel Reunion<\/a>” post:<\/p>\n

Shrinkydink [I love that!] and I often do visualization with my 6-year-old self and I talk to her. And when I\u2019m all wrapped up in it and I can\u2019t talk to her, I envision my neice and talk to her instead. The imagery of going back to our former selves to comfort is amazing.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Like me, Blondie had moments in her childhood<\/a> that she was scared to death. My fears, as best as I can figure out as an adult, revolved around my parents\u2019 divorce and my mom\u2019s depression. Every time my mom left the house, I panicked, assuming that she was never coming back.
\nBlondie\u2019s mom had cancer and as a young girl, Blondie was terrifying that she would die. She writes:<\/p>\n

During an intense session about this subject and the fear it causes in my life today, Shrinky had me tell my little self that Mom lived. Mom lived and survived and is a happy, healthy now, over 20 years later. I had no idea at the time how much this would affect the way I think about things now. In my present life, I try to remember this\u2014that she lived, and that I may look back in time somewhere off in the future and say, I lived through this. It helps me to not worry so much about current trying events.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Her words and what reader Jan wrote on the message board of my post, “Motherhood and Depression<\/a>“\u2014how her core issue with anxiety and depression was moving through the pain in her past\u2014makes me think of that scene in “Finding Nemo<\/a>” (I don\u2019t read classics anymore; I just watch kid movies), when Marlin and Dory are inside the whale, and the whale is signaling it is time to exit to the Sidney harbor. Martin clings to the whale\u2019s tongue, while Dory gets ready to follow the whale’s instructions.
\n“He says it\u2019s time to let go,” Dory explains to Marlin (who doesn\u2019t believe that she can speak “Whale”).
\n“But how do you know? \u2026 How do you know nothing bad is going to happen to you?”
\n“I don\u2019t!” she says and releasing her grip on the tongue.
\nI think I\u2019m still on the tongue a little bit. But maybe the doll whom Eric and I agree on can help me with that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You know that doll idea that I talked about in my “12 Ways to Wait for Recovery” post? The object that was supposed to represent the scared little girl inside me, whom the more evolved and logical adult could console? It\u2019s not going so well. My guardian angel, Ann, and I were supposed to go…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-465","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health"],"yoast_head":"\nMy Inner Snow White: It's Time to Let Go - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"My Inner Snow White: It's Time to Let Go - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You know that doll idea that I talked about in my “12 Ways to Wait for Recovery” post? The object that was supposed to represent the scared little girl inside me, whom the more evolved and logical adult could console? It\u2019s not going so well. My guardian angel, Ann, and I were supposed to go…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-09-04T11:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"My Inner Snow White: It's Time to Let Go - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"My Inner Snow White: It's Time to Let Go - Beyond Blue","og_description":"You know that doll idea that I talked about in my “12 Ways to Wait for Recovery” post? The object that was supposed to represent the scared little girl inside me, whom the more evolved and logical adult could console? It\u2019s not going so well. My guardian angel, Ann, and I were supposed to go…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html","og_site_name":"Beyond Blue","article_published_time":"2007-09-04T11:00:00+00:00","author":"Beyond Blue","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html","name":"My Inner Snow White: It's Time to Let Go - Beyond Blue","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website"},"datePublished":"2007-09-04T11:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2007-09-04T11:00:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/09\/my-inner-snow-white-its-time-t.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"My Inner Snow White: It’s Time to Let Go"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/","name":"Beyond Blue","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Therese J. Borchard","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75","name":"Beyond Blue","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/45c\/45c6e619a20a364bd981e9dda64eaa02x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/45c\/45c6e619a20a364bd981e9dda64eaa02x96.jpg","caption":"Beyond Blue"},"description":"Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet.com. She is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist. You may find her at her personal blog, her website, or you may follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.","sameAs":["http:\/\/thereseborchard.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/author\/tborchard"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/465","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=465"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/465\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=465"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=465"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=465"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}