{"id":428,"date":"2007-08-21T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-08-21T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/im-an-online-junkie.html"},"modified":"2007-08-21T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-08-21T11:00:00","slug":"im-an-online-junkie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/im-an-online-junkie.html","title":{"rendered":"I’m an Online Junkie"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s official. I\u2019m not a country girl. Eight days buried in rural Cedar, Michigan<\/a>, without access to high speed Internet, was just too much for my online-dependent self to bear.
\nI\u2019m not sure how my twin sister and I shared a womb: she is a gourmet chef, I can\u2019t boil water; she fetches her eggs from the chickens in her front yard, I make Eric drive to our supermarket because even that task stresses me out.
\nI suppose it\u2019s time to turn myself in to yet another support group\u2014for those online junkies who can\u2019t vacation without access to the cyber world.
\nMistake number one: In an experiment to see just how many Diggs<\/a> you need to end up on page one or two or 54 of Digg.com, I e-mailed 100 of my closest friends to tell them to Digg my Depression Busters<\/a> (if you want to, go ahead and click here and press Digg<\/a>, and then set up an account if you don\u2019t have one). This message entered the digital highway an hour before I left for the airport. Bad timing for a person with OCD.<\/p>\n


\nI pulled out my laptop (which I told myself I would absolutely positively not bring) at Baltimore\u2019s airport (that\u2019s my airport, meaning I hadn\u2019t even boarded the plane yet).
\n“Shoot, Internet access costs $9.99. Can we do it?” I asked Eric.
\n“Are you serious? That\u2019s a rip off. That\u2019s a buck per Digg.”
\nBack in the bag goes the laptop.
\nUntil I hit Detroit.
\nAnother $9.99.
\n“It\u2019s worth it!” I tried to convince Eric, who accused me of my online addiction way back before I pledged to unplug during a week of vacation. “We have three hours to ride the aiport train back and forth and stare at this cool fountain.”
\nTwo minutes later the kids were all over the computer, using it as a DVD player to watch “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles<\/a>“\u2014remember those flicks? Yuck.
\nA few hours later we arrive to the country. I can barely stand it. It\u2019s been seven hours since I\u2019ve connected to anyone online. So at the first available moment, I asked my twin sister to PLEASE direct me to the Internet in her lovely home situated on 12 acres of gorgeous countryside between a cherry grove and a white grape vineyard.
\nIt\u2019s dial up. IT\u2019S DIAL UP! IT\u2019S DIAL UP!
\nChecking my e-mails and Beyond Blue<\/a> messages (which I\u2019m more addicted to reading than any of you dear readers, trust me!) took maybe seven times the amount of time than my high-tech DSL connection back home.
\nWhich meant what?
\nNo sneaking.
\nLike I do all the time at home (my office is right next to the frig \u2026 not good, I know): “No really, sit still, I\u2019ll get the milk \u2026” (quick peak), “Sippy cup? I\u2019ll get it” (another peak).
\nAll summer I told myself it was okay to push, push, push, because I would take the week at my sister\u2019s to decompress from it all, that I would disconnect from the Internet and try to find myself or center myself or yada yada yada: you know, become more spiritual.
\nAs the week of vacation approached, my head was full of the same negotiations (or rationalizations) that happen during Lent (when I was supposed to have given up chocolate, but you get a dispensation for Sundays, right? So let\u2019s just take that dispensation and stretch it from Friday night to Monday morning, especially given the Saturday\u2019s dispensation that I didn\u2019t use!).
\nBy Saturday morning (before we left for the airport), I committed to checking my e-mail once a day. Tops.
\nBy Sunday, it was twice.
\nOn Monday I was up to five times. That evening my sister was entertaining some friends. I conversed with her guests, but I was tormented knowing that the “Your Peace of Mind<\/a>” newsletter had been sent about 4:00 that day, as I was dying to know which Beyond Blue<\/a> post was included in it (I\u2019m featured on Mondays and Thursdays if you haven\u2019t noticed). Plus I wondered if Depression Busters<\/a> had been Dugg again.
\nSo I tried to discreetly slide inside her house, using the excuse that I was going to grab a fancy fruit juice drink she bought for me (since I don\u2019t drink).
\n“What are you doing?” my sister asked me two minutes later, when she caught me at the computer.
\n“Just checking in with my peeps. Seeing how they’re doing. Don\u2019t tell Eric I\u2019m on the computer. He already thinks I\u2019m obsessed,” I said.
\nDamn it. I was busted. I hate this dial up connection!<\/em> I thought to myself. But come on, I\u2019m not smoking crack. Beyond Blue<\/a> is a good addiction, no?<\/em>
\nThe next afternoon my sisters and I were browsing inside a children\u2019s shop in Leland. I overheard a woman asking the manager about WiFi.
\n“Look at all the puzzles!” my sister said, pointing to three shelves of boxes, holding everything from 60-piece SpiderMans to 1000-piece Tyrannosauruses.
\n“Shhhh,” I said. “She\u2019s asking about WiFi! It might be near.”
\n“You are so addicted,” she replied. “You don\u2019t care about any shops that don\u2019t have WiFi, do you?”
\nEarlier that morning we drove past a coffee shop with “Free WiFi” written on its window.
\n“WiFi!!!” I shouted. “It\u2019s free! Stop!” My face was pressed up against the window, and I salivated like my dogs do right before I give them steak.
\n“WiFi. WiFi. Wifi,” my sister imitated me mockingly.
\nI pleaded guilty.
\nI could not decompress.
\nNot in the vines. Or among the pines.
\nNot with a fox, or among the rocks.
\nNot in the rain, or on a train.
\nNot with jam. Or with my fam.
\nI even read spam!
\nI love my Internet, Therese I am.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s official. I\u2019m not a country girl. Eight days buried in rural Cedar, Michigan, without access to high speed Internet, was just too much for my online-dependent self to bear. I\u2019m not sure how my twin sister and I shared a womb: she is a gourmet chef, I can\u2019t boil water; she fetches her eggs…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-best-of-beliefnet"],"yoast_head":"\nI'm an Online Junkie - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/im-an-online-junkie.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I'm an Online Junkie - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s official. I\u2019m not a country girl. Eight days buried in rural Cedar, Michigan, without access to high speed Internet, was just too much for my online-dependent self to bear. 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