{"id":398,"date":"2007-08-08T10:10:41","date_gmt":"2007-08-08T10:10:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html"},"modified":"2007-08-08T10:10:41","modified_gmt":"2007-08-08T10:10:41","slug":"whine-away-and-complain-on-bey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html","title":{"rendered":"Whining Welcome on Beyond Blue!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thanks to Reader “?” (formerly known as Liz \u2026 are you related to Prince<\/a>?) who posted this comment on the message board of my “The Carnival of Depression and Bipolar Disorder<\/a>“:<\/p>\n

I went to Liz Spikol’s site<\/a> [by the way, I will be interviewing Liz in September for my “How Do You Move Beyond Blue?” series]<\/a> and could see that it could offer some support avenues. Unfortunately for me, the comment by Dr. Ellis that “neurosis is just a high-class name for whining” caused me to pause. Many people are sensitive to the “whiny” issue and are very guarded about what they share in the “real” world. It is such a relief to come here and try to put perspective to one’s “neurotic” self. For me, after I post, I am embarrassed at how pathetic I sound on paper….whiny. But inside my brain the whole pain and thought process gets very intense and the struggle seems to have no end. There is comfort in the fact that others know what the pain is and some have the same questions and some have ideas that might help. I realize that when I first visited this site I HAD to know that I was not alone. Sometimes now I am able to look for more and sometimes not. I just know that you are all there and I do pray for you. I even use my pain AND any joy as a prayer. Again, thank you.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dear “?,”
\nI would have written to you long ago had I known your e-mail address to say this: I truly enjoy your comments. I find them engaging, sincere, enlightening, honest, interesting, and so so sincere. I don\u2019t think you are whining, but then again, I have been called a whiner myself (go check out the message board of my “I, Too, Have a Dream<\/a>” post, where you\u2019ll find a few more adjectives next to my name).<\/p>\n


\nI want Beyond Blue to be a place where people are comfortable “whining” (if the world sees it that way). To me, telling the truth is more important, even if it\u2019s ugly, than covering up a lie. If a Beyond Blue reader is so depressed that she wishes she were dead, I hope that she says that! Because chances are, a good number of us feel the same way, and we breathe a sigh of relief whenever someone else says it.
\nIn fact, even today, at my doctor\u2019s appointment, I described to her my “Relapse: The Waiting Place<\/a>” post, where I talk about becoming envious of people with terminal illnesses and elderly people. You know what she said?
\n“You don\u2019t know how many times I\u2019ve heard that \u2026 people so desperate that they only wish to die in a respectable, natural way.”
\nIs that whining? To many ears, yes. “If you don\u2019t have anything good to say, don\u2019t say it” I was told repeatedly as a kid. Several friends have told me that by writing “I am mentally ill,” that I am trapping my psyche in sick mode, that I am preventing my own healing. That if I say positive words, and try my best to think positive thoughts, even if I\u2019m not feeling them, that they will change my reality.
\nI see it differently. To me, being honest is reporting the symptoms. And how are you supposed to get better if you can\u2019t name the problem? Maybe I\u2019m brainwashed by twelve-step programs, but the beginning point for me hass always been admitting powerlessness. And how that has freed me!
\nI haven\u2019t read much of Dr. Ellis<\/a>, so I don\u2019t know how he used that phrase “neurosis is high-class whining.” But if he means it in the way I hear it\u2014that we are a bunch of pansies for describing our pain, I think he is the one with the more severe neurosis.
\nPlease, feel free to whine away here on Beyond Blue.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thanks to Reader “?” (formerly known as Liz \u2026 are you related to Prince?) who posted this comment on the message board of my “The Carnival of Depression and Bipolar Disorder“: I went to Liz Spikol’s site [by the way, I will be interviewing Liz in September for my “How Do You Move Beyond Blue?”…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health"],"yoast_head":"\nWhining Welcome on Beyond Blue! - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Whining Welcome on Beyond Blue! - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Thanks to Reader “?” (formerly known as Liz \u2026 are you related to Prince?) who posted this comment on the message board of my “The Carnival of Depression and Bipolar Disorder“: I went to Liz Spikol’s site [by the way, I will be interviewing Liz in September for my “How Do You Move Beyond Blue?”…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-08-08T10:10:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Whining Welcome on Beyond Blue! - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Whining Welcome on Beyond Blue! - Beyond Blue","og_description":"Thanks to Reader “?” (formerly known as Liz \u2026 are you related to Prince?) who posted this comment on the message board of my “The Carnival of Depression and Bipolar Disorder“: I went to Liz Spikol’s site [by the way, I will be interviewing Liz in September for my “How Do You Move Beyond Blue?”…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html","og_site_name":"Beyond Blue","article_published_time":"2007-08-08T10:10:41+00:00","author":"Beyond Blue","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html","name":"Whining Welcome on Beyond Blue! - Beyond Blue","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website"},"datePublished":"2007-08-08T10:10:41+00:00","dateModified":"2007-08-08T10:10:41+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/08\/whine-away-and-complain-on-bey.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Whining Welcome on Beyond Blue!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/","name":"Beyond Blue","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Therese J. 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