{"id":311,"date":"2007-06-25T15:04:58","date_gmt":"2007-06-25T15:04:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html"},"modified":"2007-06-25T15:04:58","modified_gmt":"2007-06-25T15:04:58","slug":"statistics-every-hsm-highly-se","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html","title":{"rendered":"Statistics Every HSM (Highly Sensitive Mom) Should Know"},"content":{"rendered":"

My therapist photocopied for me a page out of the book “When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within<\/a>” one of those many days I sat on her couch in tears, telling her how frustrated I was with my kids so much of the time.
\n“I love them both so much,” I said. “But to be completely honest, I don\u2019t think I was cut out to be a mom. I\u2019m not enjoying it in the way that I think I should. Most of the time I\u2019m totally aggravated and irritated and pissed off.”
\nIn “When Anger Hurts<\/a>,” authors Matthew McKay, Judith McKay, and Peter Rogers summarize a few surveys that paint the real, not-so-Monet picture of parenthood and emotions, especially for those of us who are highly sensitive (less tolerant of loud noises, chaos, and just about everything that kids create):<\/p>\n

In a survey of Canadian parents (Minden 1982), 41 percent of the parents rated their parenting experience as negative and frustrating. Over half the parents in a study by Frude and Goss (1979) had lost their temper and hit their child \u201creally hard.\u201d Another 40 percent feared that they might lose their temper and really hurt their child in the future. These were not troubled families with difficult children. The subjects who reported these feelings were \u201cnormal\u201d parents with “normal” children.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I was saddened to read about those high numbers of parents bordering on their own breakdowns. But I couldn\u2019t help but be relieved to know I wasn\u2019t alone, and that maybe the massive maternal grin gracing every cover of every tabloid in the grocery store when I\u2019m checking out (both physically and mentally, as little hands are grabbing the Skittles and M&Ms) is lots and lots (and then more) of Photoshop. And that maybe I\u2019m not so much more delicate than all the other moms\u2014perhaps I\u2019m just more honest.
\nThe authors go on to list some of the working conditions of parents that make highly sensitive moms such as myself prone to overarousal when in the presence of little people:
\n1)\tLong hours.
\n2)\tChildren are incredibly messy.
\n3)\tChildren are noisy.
\n4)\tCaring for children requires that you do many repetitive and time-consuming tasks.
\n5)\tChildren are self-centered.
\n6)\tChildren push the limits.
\n7)\tChildren need tremendous amounts of attention and approval.
\n8)\tChildren require vigilance.
\nNow don\u2019t you feel better?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My therapist photocopied for me a page out of the book “When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within” one of those many days I sat on her couch in tears, telling her how frustrated I was with my kids so much of the time. “I love them both so much,” I said. “But to be…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nStatistics Every HSM (Highly Sensitive Mom) Should Know - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Statistics Every HSM (Highly Sensitive Mom) Should Know - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My therapist photocopied for me a page out of the book “When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within” one of those many days I sat on her couch in tears, telling her how frustrated I was with my kids so much of the time. “I love them both so much,” I said. “But to be…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-06-25T15:04:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Statistics Every HSM (Highly Sensitive Mom) Should Know - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Statistics Every HSM (Highly Sensitive Mom) Should Know - Beyond Blue","og_description":"My therapist photocopied for me a page out of the book “When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within” one of those many days I sat on her couch in tears, telling her how frustrated I was with my kids so much of the time. “I love them both so much,” I said. “But to be…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html","og_site_name":"Beyond Blue","article_published_time":"2007-06-25T15:04:58+00:00","author":"Beyond Blue","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html","name":"Statistics Every HSM (Highly Sensitive Mom) Should Know - Beyond Blue","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website"},"datePublished":"2007-06-25T15:04:58+00:00","dateModified":"2007-06-25T15:04:58+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/statistics-every-hsm-highly-se.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Statistics Every HSM (Highly Sensitive Mom) Should Know"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/","name":"Beyond Blue","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Therese J. Borchard","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75","name":"Beyond Blue","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/45c\/45c6e619a20a364bd981e9dda64eaa02x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/45c\/45c6e619a20a364bd981e9dda64eaa02x96.jpg","caption":"Beyond Blue"},"description":"Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet.com. She is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist. You may find her at her personal blog, her website, or you may follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.","sameAs":["http:\/\/thereseborchard.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/author\/tborchard"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=311"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}