{"id":284,"date":"2007-06-11T10:55:00","date_gmt":"2007-06-11T10:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html"},"modified":"2007-06-11T10:55:00","modified_gmt":"2007-06-11T10:55:00","slug":"one-defending-my-faith","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html","title":{"rendered":"On Defending My Faith"},"content":{"rendered":"

About twice a year, I feel like I\u2019m back on the set of the show \u201cPolitically Correct<\/a>,\u201d sitting across the stage from the beautiful Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman<\/a> (Jane Seymour) and of course the irreverent and sarcastic host Bill Maher (half Catholic, half Jewish) battling it out over the sins and ills of the Catholic Church.
\nBecause Catholicism is so much a part of who I am–and plays a central role in my recovery from addiction and depression–I feel the need to defend it.
\nA few days ago, my commute into the nation\u2019s capital with a lapsed-Catholic-turned-Unitarian Universalist<\/a>\/Scientologist presented me with the opportunity to explain, why, even with all of its warts and cancerous moles, I\u2019m not trading in my conservative faith for a more politically correct, all embracing, less rigid religion.
\nHere\u2019s a (very) rough paraphrase of our conversation (plus some added commentary I didn\u2019t think of at the time \u2026 Darn it! I should have said that! Well \u2026 I\u2019ll use it next time, which there will be in approximately six months.)
\n“I don\u2019t get it, Therese. You\u2019re an intelligent woman. Do you really believe all that crap the Catholic Church feeds you?”
\n“Like what?”
\n“No birth control or premarital sex for starters.”<\/p>\n


\n“I suppose I\u2019m a cafeteria Catholic in that I don\u2019t agree with all of the Church\u2019s teachings, but that isn\u2019t enough for me to dump my faith. I don\u2019t see the so-called ‘rules’ as being the essence of Catholicism.”
\n“But don\u2019t you feel like a hypocrite going to Church after Eric got a vasectomy?”
\n“No. Not when I consider the \u2018conscience clause\u2019 (a.k.a. the trump card). You never hear about it in sermons but paragraph 1776 (same year as the US Declaration of Independence \u2026 coincidence?) of the \u2018Catechism of the Catholic Church<\/a>\u2019 states:<\/p>\n

Deep within the conscience man discovers a law which he has not laid upon himself but which he must obey. Its voice, ever calling him to love and to do what is good and to avoid evil, sounds in his heart at the right moment. . . . . For man has in his heart a law inscribed by God. . . . .His conscience is man\u2019s most secret core and his sanctuary. There he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

“I know, in good conscience, that I can\u2019t handle another kid. Especially given my anxiety issues and bipolar disorder. The hormonal fluctuation and chemistry shift in my body less than a year after Katherine was born landed me in the psych ward twice. For me the greater sin would be to bring another child into the world–opening yet another can of biochemical and neurological disarray and adding to my stress–than to practice birth control, and stay a better, semi-sane mother of two.
\n“And the Church-sanctioned method of birth control–natural family planning–is simply not an option for me given my irregular periods, the tumor in my pituitary gland, and my mood disorder. I rarely know when I\u2019m fertile.”
\n“But all that negative guilt. I mean, who needs it?”
\n“I know I gripe a lot about Catholic guilt. Some strict Catholic schooling may have gone too far in imprinting moral codes into young minds, especially in the past. But, to tell you the truth, I find some of it refreshing in today\u2019s secular and permissive culture. For me, personally, the guilt keeps me in check. It\u2019s like a safety valve on hot water–the knot in my stomach tells me that I\u2019m about to do something stupid and will get burned. Granted, I have to learn how to shut it off (through therapy) when I want to take a steaming-hot shower. But, in general, I think it helps me be a more decent person. For example, the guilt I would feel in having an extramarital affair would be atrocious. And that\u2019s good.”
\n“But that\u2019s not Catholic guilt. That\u2019s just knowing what\u2019s good for a relationship and a family, and what\u2019s good and moral behavior.”
\n“For me I can\u2019t really separate the two. What instructs me to be more loving and more faithful is tucked away in the same memory as reciting the Apostles\u2019 Creed<\/a> and the Hail Mary.”
\n“But how can abstaining from something–like red meat on Fridays–be good for you, if you are depriving yourself of something you enjoy?”
\n“I guess I think of fasting and abstinence like that one \u2018Seinfeld<\/a>\u2019 episode when George gives up sex, and gets smarter. In fact, he becomes so brilliant that Jerry invites him to talk to a high school class. But before his talk, George has sex at gets stupid again. Right before his talk, he places two champagne glasses upside down on his head and says to Jerry, \u2018Take me to your leader,\u2019 and Jerry immediately knows he\u2019s had sex.
\n“I\u2019m not always good about following the Church\u2019s recommendations on fasting, but I do think that by not drinking I have more clarity in my thinking, and that I get better reception to God than I did in the days I was boozing it up. I understand the wisdom of the Desert Fathers<\/a> and the value of asceticism.”
\n“But what can you say about all the pedophiles? So many priests are so morally despicable.”
\n“I can\u2019t deny that there are some really bad apples in our group. It\u2019s disheartening. But there are bad apples in every category of people. All I know are the priests in my life. And they are among the most spiritual people I know. I was really lucky, I guess, to be educated by so many inspiring religious people. That makes me not give up hope in the clergy, even as I read depressing headlines.
\n“I get a little irritated with the media\u2019s slanted coverage of the priest scandal, as if every priest is guilty of pedophilia. Not every religious (or Catholic) is a molester, and the whole church shouldn\u2019t be judged for sins committed by some bad apples. Just as it would be unfair to judge all Unitarians based on the ‘X Files<\/a>.'”
\n“The X Files?”
\n“Several Unitarians I know claim to have had coffee with ET<\/a>, and to be able to recognize hybrids (alien-humans) among us. Granted, that\u2019s not molestation, but it\u2019s not exactly normal, in my humble opinion.”
\n“Well, that\u2019s certainly not every Unitarian.”
\n“Precisely. And every Catholic isn\u2019t a molester.”
\nThe conversation ended with my last comment, as I had expected it would. And that made my dry, Catholic mouth happy, because I do get tired of defending my faith, even though I know it\u2019s important to do twice a year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

About twice a year, I feel like I\u2019m back on the set of the show \u201cPolitically Correct,\u201d sitting across the stage from the beautiful Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (Jane Seymour) and of course the irreverent and sarcastic host Bill Maher (half Catholic, half Jewish) battling it out over the sins and ills of the Catholic…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-catholicism"],"yoast_head":"\nOn Defending My Faith - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"On Defending My Faith - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"About twice a year, I feel like I\u2019m back on the set of the show \u201cPolitically Correct,\u201d sitting across the stage from the beautiful Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (Jane Seymour) and of course the irreverent and sarcastic host Bill Maher (half Catholic, half Jewish) battling it out over the sins and ills of the Catholic…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-06-11T10:55:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"On Defending My Faith - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"On Defending My Faith - Beyond Blue","og_description":"About twice a year, I feel like I\u2019m back on the set of the show \u201cPolitically Correct,\u201d sitting across the stage from the beautiful Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (Jane Seymour) and of course the irreverent and sarcastic host Bill Maher (half Catholic, half Jewish) battling it out over the sins and ills of the Catholic…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html","og_site_name":"Beyond Blue","article_published_time":"2007-06-11T10:55:00+00:00","author":"Beyond Blue","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html","name":"On Defending My Faith - Beyond Blue","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website"},"datePublished":"2007-06-11T10:55:00+00:00","dateModified":"2007-06-11T10:55:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/06\/one-defending-my-faith.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"On Defending My Faith"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/","name":"Beyond Blue","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Therese J. Borchard","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75","name":"Beyond Blue","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/45c\/45c6e619a20a364bd981e9dda64eaa02x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/45c\/45c6e619a20a364bd981e9dda64eaa02x96.jpg","caption":"Beyond Blue"},"description":"Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet.com. She is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist. You may find her at her personal blog, her website, or you may follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.","sameAs":["http:\/\/thereseborchard.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/author\/tborchard"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=284"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}