{"id":28,"date":"2007-01-02T10:15:00","date_gmt":"2007-01-02T10:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2007\/01\/and-for-2007.html"},"modified":"2007-01-02T10:15:00","modified_gmt":"2007-01-02T10:15:00","slug":"and-for-2007","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2007\/01\/and-for-2007.html","title":{"rendered":"And for 2007…"},"content":{"rendered":"

For 2007, my only resolution is to become more close-minded. I suffer far less when I detach myself from everyone’s opinion of my health, my parenting, and my faith.<\/p>\n

Had I not been so open-minded–trying every and all suggestions thrown my way in regard to my depression–I don’t think I would have stayed in my dark night so long. In my desperation, I clung to every piece of advice offered (sometimes shoved down my throat) by relatives and friends. <\/p>\n

“You’re beating a dead horse with these meds,” one friend told me. “What you need is lots of yoga and mineral supplements. A naturopath<\/a> can do with herbal remedies what a psychiatrist does with synthetic pharmaceuticals. You’ll see how fish oil can stabilize your moods just as effectively as Lithium.”<\/p>\n

That sounded good, so I began to wean off all my meds (and was hospitalized two months later).<\/p>\n

“It’s clearly hormonal,” said another friend. “Try going on the birth control pill.”<\/p>\n

I did that and really messed up my menstrual cycles.<\/p>\n

After reading an article by Andrew Weil<\/a>–on how relaxation techniques can treat depression–I practiced deep breathing for hours and wondered when I would start to feel better. <\/p>\n

Every few weeks it was another experiment and a new philosophy (determined by the friend or relative I had last spoken to, or the article I had most recently read). With no time to recover, my body was as confused as my mind.<\/p>\n

“You can’t keep on switching directions every time someone gives you a recommendation,” said my therapist. “You need to assess all of the information you have to date, and commit to one path of recovery for at least a few months.”<\/p>\n

It was the same talk Eric gave me two years ago after a going-away dinner I had planned for our neighbors turned into an intervention about my parenting style.<\/p>\n

I stood up to rock and soothe my screaming one-year-old in a small smoky restaurant while her brother threw his French fries (with ketchup) across the table.<\/p>\n

“Do you see why I’m stressed out?” I asked my older neighbor. It was a rhetorical question for which I didn’t want an answer.<\/p>\n

“It doesn’t have to be so hard,” she replied. “With a little bit of organization, things could be easier.” The sermon on the right way to parent followed, with pointers on how to design a winning scrapbook, and a list of approved activities–Legos, blocks, puzzles–that contribute to cognitive development.<\/p>\n

“You have got to learn how to tune out judgmental, opinionated ‘experts,’ Therese,” Eric said, after my sobbing self told him why, exactly, I sucked as mom. “You have your style, and she has hers. Leave it at that. It’s just too exhausting to transform yourself every day. Listen to advice, and take a piece here or there, but stay your same self.”<\/p>\n

And so for 2007, I have purchased a set of blinders, which I’ll wear until I’m more confident in my own judgments.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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