{"id":2441,"date":"2011-08-22T06:50:26","date_gmt":"2011-08-22T10:50:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2011\/07\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html"},"modified":"2011-07-01T11:11:31","modified_gmt":"2011-07-01T15:11:31","slug":"mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html","title":{"rendered":"Mindful Monday: Take a Long Loving Look at the Real"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Anya flowers quotes for depression.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/71\/import\/imgs\/Anya%20flowers%20quotes%20for%20depression.jpg\" width=\"256\" height=\"255\" class=\"mt-image-left\" style=\"float: left;margin: 0 20px 20px 0\" \/><\/span>In order to make a decision, you have to perceive a situation correctly. Which is why I&#8217;m unable to deliberate when I&#8217;m depressed: I can&#8217;t see. With the amygdala and hippocampus regions of the brain suffering cell shrinkage and death&#8211;spreading a message of panic throughout my entire nervous system&#8211;I&#8217;m positioned worse than a deer in headlights.<\/p>\n<p>I have to resist the &#8220;fight or flight&#8221; command from my brain&#8217;s &#8220;fear system&#8221; (the amygdala)&#8211;which holds unconscious, anxiety-based memories&#8211;and to give the job of analyzing my world to the more sophisticated parts (the upper regions) of my brain.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, to make decisions (or at least good ones), I have to learn how to see correctly.<\/p>\n<p>My theology professor, Keith Egan, used to tell his students to take a &#8220;long, loving look at the real.&#8221; Every day he&#8217;d give us that instruction for a class called &#8220;Exploring Beauty.&#8221; (No, we didn&#8217;t look through the Victoria&#8217;s Secret catalog for homework.) It stuck&#8211;this loving look at the real stuff. Whenever I&#8217;d see a classmate at the dining hall, I&#8217;d ask her if she&#8217;d taken her long, loving look at the real yet that day (as if it were equivalent to a workout or shower).<\/p>\n<p>But it&#8217;s true that in order to choose A over B and C, you have to perceive A, B, and C correctly. First, you have to train your mind to see reality. Then you have to get comfy with reality. And finally you begin to love reality. <\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m as far away from that last sentence as most college boys are from marriage plans&#8211;reality ain&#8217;t all that pretty to these eyes. It still hurts too much. BUT I think I am getting better at recognizing it&#8211;much like I can recognize my daughter&#8217;s cry coming from the nursery while I&#8217;m on the treadmill at the gym. And that&#8217;s great news for a person who puts decision-making after folding laundry on her list of most enjoyable activities.<\/p>\n<p>P.S. I sent Keith this blog post, and he replied: &#8220;Alas&#8211;you didn&#8217;t recall my line from Eliot: &#8220;Humankind cannot bear very much reality.&#8221; So I guess we are supposed to go easy (everything in moderation, even moderation) with the long loving looks at the real.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/picasaweb.google.com\/hippomama1\">Art by Anya Getter.<\/a><\/p>\n<p><i>*&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/feedburner.google.com\/fb\/a\/mailverify?uri=beyondblue1\">Click here to <b>subscribe to Beyond Blue<\/b><\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/thereseborchard\">click here to follow Therese on <b>Twitter<\/b><\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/community.beliefnet.com\/beyond_blue\">click here to join <b>Group Beyond Blue<\/b><\/a>, a depression support group. Now stop clicking.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In order to make a decision, you have to perceive a situation correctly. Which is why I&#8217;m unable to deliberate when I&#8217;m depressed: I can&#8217;t see. With the amygdala and hippocampus regions of the brain suffering cell shrinkage and death&#8211;spreading a message of panic throughout my entire nervous system&#8211;I&#8217;m positioned worse than a deer in&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inspiration-and-prayer"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Mindful Monday: Take a Long Loving Look at the Real - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mindful Monday: Take a Long Loving Look at the Real - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In order to make a decision, you have to perceive a situation correctly. Which is why I&#8217;m unable to deliberate when I&#8217;m depressed: I can&#8217;t see. With the amygdala and hippocampus regions of the brain suffering cell shrinkage and death&#8211;spreading a message of panic throughout my entire nervous system&#8211;I&#8217;m positioned worse than a deer in&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-08-22T10:50:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-07-01T15:11:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/import\/imgs\/Anya%20flowers%20quotes%20for%20depression.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Mindful Monday: Take a Long Loving Look at the Real - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Mindful Monday: Take a Long Loving Look at the Real - Beyond Blue","og_description":"In order to make a decision, you have to perceive a situation correctly. Which is why I&#8217;m unable to deliberate when I&#8217;m depressed: I can&#8217;t see. With the amygdala and hippocampus regions of the brain suffering cell shrinkage and death&#8211;spreading a message of panic throughout my entire nervous system&#8211;I&#8217;m positioned worse than a deer in&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html","og_site_name":"Beyond Blue","article_published_time":"2011-08-22T10:50:26+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-07-01T15:11:31+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/import\/imgs\/Anya%20flowers%20quotes%20for%20depression.jpg"}],"author":"Beyond Blue","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html","name":"Mindful Monday: Take a Long Loving Look at the Real - Beyond Blue","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/import\/imgs\/Anya%20flowers%20quotes%20for%20depression.jpg","datePublished":"2011-08-22T10:50:26+00:00","dateModified":"2011-07-01T15:11:31+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/import\/imgs\/Anya%20flowers%20quotes%20for%20depression.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/import\/imgs\/Anya%20flowers%20quotes%20for%20depression.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2011\/08\/mindful-monday-take-a-long-lov.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Mindful Monday: Take a Long Loving Look at the Real"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/","name":"Beyond Blue","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Therese J. 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