{"id":2218,"date":"2010-05-12T06:48:12","date_gmt":"2010-05-12T06:48:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2010\/05\/first-forgive.html"},"modified":"2010-05-12T06:48:12","modified_gmt":"2010-05-12T06:48:12","slug":"first-forgive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2010\/05\/first-forgive.html","title":{"rendered":"First Forgive"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"pocket<\/span>Since we are the topic of forgiveness, I thought I’d share with you an excerpt from my book, “The Pocket Therapist.”<\/a><\/em>
\nMother Teresa once said, “Whatever our religion, we know that if we really want to love, we must first learn to forgive before anything else.”
\nMy best friend, Beatriz, taught me that same lesson 15 years ago when I read aloud to her on the phone the letter I wanted to send my dad: a list of all the important events in my life that he hadn’t showed up for and why that was wrong. Granted, I had good reason to be hurt, and it may have been appropriate to send the letter.
\nBut it wouldn’t have helped me love him any better.
\n“I don’t think that letter is going to do anything but make him feel guiltier than he already feels, and then keep you that much more out of his life,” my very wise friend told me. “Why not make a list of all the things you love about him? Why not forgive him for the mistakes in the past? Why not tell him that you love him so much and want to have a better relationship with him?”
\nSo I did that.
\nI told him all of that.
\nAnd he cried like a baby, and embraced me in a gentle way I had yet to experience by my father. He also apologized, with undeniable sincerity, for some of his immature and selfish choices throughout the years. As I did.
\nAnd then I had three more months to love him before he died.<\/p>\n

* Click here to subscribe to Beyond Blue<\/b><\/a> and click here to follow Therese on Twitter<\/b><\/a> and click here to join Group Beyond Blue<\/b><\/a>, a depression support group. Now stop clicking.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since we are the topic of forgiveness, I thought I’d share with you an excerpt from my book, “The Pocket Therapist.” Mother Teresa once said, “Whatever our religion, we know that if we really want to love, we must first learn to forgive before anything else.” My best friend, Beatriz, taught me that same lesson…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inspiration-and-prayer","category-mental-health"],"yoast_head":"\nFirst Forgive - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2010\/05\/first-forgive.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"First Forgive - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Since we are the topic of forgiveness, I thought I’d share with you an excerpt from my book, “The Pocket Therapist.” Mother Teresa once said, “Whatever our religion, we know that if we really want to love, we must first learn to forgive before anything else.” My best friend, Beatriz, taught me that same lesson…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2010\/05\/first-forgive.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-05-12T06:48:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/files\/import\/imgs\/pocket%20therapist%20front%20cover%20small.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"First Forgive - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2010\/05\/first-forgive.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"First Forgive - 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Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet.com. She is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist. You may find her at her personal blog, her website, or you may follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.","sameAs":["http:\/\/thereseborchard.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/author\/tborchard"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2218"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2218\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}