{"id":2102,"date":"2010-01-08T10:00:43","date_gmt":"2010-01-08T10:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2010\/01\/enough-about-me-what-do-you-t.html"},"modified":"2010-01-08T10:00:43","modified_gmt":"2010-01-08T10:00:43","slug":"enough-about-me-what-do-you-t","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2010\/01\/enough-about-me-what-do-you-t.html","title":{"rendered":"Enough About Me&#8211;What Do You Think About Me?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"12 Depression Lessons 2.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/71\/import\/imgs\/12%20Depression%20Lessons%202.jpg\" width=\"199\" height=\"301\" class=\"mt-image-left\" style=\"float: left;margin: 0 20px 20px 0\" \/><\/span><br \/>\nI&#8217;ve been through the pub date cycle before. For a day&#8211;sometimes two&#8211;you&#8217;ve got your publicist&#8217;s undivided attention, you check your Amazon rating a dozen or so times throughout the day, and you pray to the patron saint of the Today Show (Saint Meredith or Matt) to make you famous for a week.<br \/>\nYou crash from the high 72 hours later, at which time and you resume your normal, boring, &#8220;I am a loser&#8221; life.<br \/>\nBut this time &#8230; as I approach the pub date of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Beyond-Blue-Surviving-Depression-Anxiety\/dp\/1599951568\" target=\"_hplink\">&#8220;Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression &amp; Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes&#8221;<\/a> &#8230; it&#8217;s different.<br \/>\nBecause <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Beyond-Blue-Surviving-Depression-Anxiety\/dp\/1599951568\" target=\"_hplink\">&#8220;Beyond Blue&#8221;<\/a> is one of those ME books. A MEmoir-self-help hybrid, to be exact. It has enough personal facts between the covers to qualify as an &#8220;enough about me, what do you think about me?&#8221; book, and, therefore, to make me quite nervous about the feedback. I can&#8217;t use the same excuses that I have in the past, when I have compiled collections of other people&#8217;s essays on motherhood, marriage, and faith: &#8220;It&#8217;s too bad, people just don&#8217;t like being married today.&#8221; Or &#8220;Apparently the title, &#8216;The Imperfect Mom,&#8217; doesn&#8217;t make a good Mother&#8217;s Day gift.&#8221; Or &#8220;You&#8217;re right. That piece sucked. I should have edited it more.&#8221;<br \/>\nOn pub date this time, I feel like I&#8217;m climbing out the pool from my skinny dip only to find my clothes and towel missing. So off I run in the nude for the showers.<br \/>\nI&#8217;m bracing myself for two kinds of responses: &#8220;You&#8217;re brave.&#8221; And &#8220;You&#8217;re stupid.&#8221;<br \/>\nThey&#8217;re both right. It&#8217;s not easy to write your life story, or, in my case, one&#8217;s psychiatric history and shrink charts. Future applications for federal positions will undoubtedly be denied, and should I ever become a widow in my lifetime, one Google search will scare the hell out of any suitor.<br \/>\n&#8220;I just don&#8217;t understand why you would want the world to know so much about you,&#8221; my mom said to me a few days ago. She had just finished the book. That was one intense conversation with lots of awkward pauses sprinkled throughout.<br \/>\n&#8220;I want more than anything to help people, Mom,&#8221; I explained. &#8220;Because if I am able to help someone, that gives meaning to my pain. And if there is no meaning to a person&#8217;s suffering, then there is no point of living.&#8221;<br \/>\nAwkward pause.<br \/>\n&#8220;But did you have to go into such detail?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yes,&#8221; I said.<br \/>\n&#8220;Because the good stuff is in the details. That&#8217;s where the pockets of hope are. If I just stuck to abstract talk &#8230; rattling off theories and philosophies &#8230; I would have ended up with another one of those boring, psycho-babble books. &#8230;. a list of 10 things I need to do to be just like the arrogant, annoying author. I wanted this book to be real. I wanted it to come from my heart.&#8221;<br \/>\nMore silence.<br \/>\nI expect a lot of that, as I toss my psych chart into public. Mental illness is not a warm and fuzzy subject, especially for people like me who have lost a loved one to suicide. But to stay silent is to go back to being afraid of writing my own words &#8230; to collecting other people&#8217;s words, so that I wouldn&#8217;t have to face rejection.<br \/>\nIn the end, my mom did say she was proud of me. But even if she hadn&#8217;t, I go into this pub date knowing that my intention is pure, that I&#8217;m not merely interested in telling an entertaining tale to win friends and popularity. No. I have a deeper mission, of trying to turn suffering into gold, and pain into hope. And, if I&#8217;m lucky, my book life will have longer than 72 hours.<\/p>\n<p><i>*&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/feedburner.google.com\/fb\/a\/mailverify?uri=beyondblue1\">Click here to <b>subscribe to Beyond Blue<\/b><\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/thereseborchard\">click here to follow Therese on <b>Twitter<\/b><\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/community.beliefnet.com\/beyond_blue\">click here to join <b>Group Beyond Blue<\/b><\/a>, a depression support group. Now stop clicking.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been through the pub date cycle before. For a day&#8211;sometimes two&#8211;you&#8217;ve got your publicist&#8217;s undivided attention, you check your Amazon rating a dozen or so times throughout the day, and you pray to the patron saint of the Today Show (Saint Meredith or Matt) to make you famous for a week. You crash from&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Enough About Me-What Do You Think About Me? - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2010\/01\/enough-about-me-what-do-you-t.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Enough About Me-What Do You Think About Me? - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I&#8217;ve been through the pub date cycle before. For a day&#8211;sometimes two&#8211;you&#8217;ve got your publicist&#8217;s undivided attention, you check your Amazon rating a dozen or so times throughout the day, and you pray to the patron saint of the Today Show (Saint Meredith or Matt) to make you famous for a week. 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Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet.com. She is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression &amp; Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist. 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