{"id":1723,"date":"2009-04-14T09:00:37","date_gmt":"2009-04-14T09:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2009\/04\/gretchen-rubin-8-ways-to-make.html"},"modified":"2009-04-14T09:00:37","modified_gmt":"2009-04-14T09:00:37","slug":"gretchen-rubin-8-ways-to-make","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2009\/04\/gretchen-rubin-8-ways-to-make.html","title":{"rendered":"Gretchen Rubin: 8 Ways to Make Yourself More Likeable"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"more<\/span>Me? I’m trying to get away from all this people-pleasing. I think it’s making me sick. However, being likable, or at least having many close relationships, also contributes to success and happiness, says fellow blogger Gretchen Rubin.<\/a> And she gives you eight pointers to do just that … become more likable. To get to her Huffington Post article, click here.<\/a> I excerpted her first couple points:\u00a0<\/p>\n

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1. Smile.\u00a0<\/strong>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

Now, this is no shock, but studies do show that the amount of time you smile during a conversation has a direct impact on how friendly you’re perceived to be. Also, people mimic the expressions on the faces they see, so if you smile, you’re more likely to be smiled at. (Scientists have identified 19 types of smiles, by the way.)<\/p>\n

2. Be easily impressed, entertained, and interested. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Most people get more pleasure from wowing you with their humor and insight than from being wowed by your humor and insight.<\/p>\n

3. Have a friendly, open, engaged demeanor. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Lean toward people, nod, say “Uh-huh,” turn your body to face the other person’s body. Don’t turn your body away, cross your arms, answer in monosyllables, or scan the room (or look at your Blackberry! I have seen this happen!) as the other person talks.<\/p>\n

4. Remember trait transfer. <\/strong><\/p>\n

In “trait transfer,” whatever you say about other people influences how people see you. If you describe a co-worker as brilliant and charismatic, your acquaintance will tend to associate you with those qualities. Conversely, if you describe a co-worker as arrogant and obnoxious, those traits will stick to you. So watch what you say.<\/p>\n

5. Laugh at yourself.<\/strong> <\/p>\n

Showing vulnerability and a sense of humor make you more likable and approachable. However, don’t push this too self-deprecation too far – keep it light. You’ll make others uncomfortable if you run yourself down too much. I met a guy who kept saying things like, “I’m an idiot,” “I have the most boring job ever,” etc. He was trying to be self-deprecating, but it was hard to know how to respond to that kind of comment from a stranger.\n<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\nTo continue reading click here.<\/a><\/p>\n

To read more Beyond Blue, go to http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue<\/a>, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

To subscribe to “Beyond Blue” click here.<\/a><\/p>\n

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Me? I’m trying to get away from all this people-pleasing. I think it’s making me sick. However, being likable, or at least having many close relationships, also contributes to success and happiness, says fellow blogger Gretchen Rubin. And she gives you eight pointers to do just that … become more likable. To get to her…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nGretchen Rubin: 8 Ways to Make Yourself More Likeable - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2009\/04\/gretchen-rubin-8-ways-to-make.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Gretchen Rubin: 8 Ways to Make Yourself More Likeable - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Me? I’m trying to get away from all this people-pleasing. I think it’s making me sick. However, being likable, or at least having many close relationships, also contributes to success and happiness, says fellow blogger Gretchen Rubin. And she gives you eight pointers to do just that … become more likable. 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