{"id":1578,"date":"2009-01-29T10:46:10","date_gmt":"2009-01-29T10:46:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2009\/01\/susan-schechter-a-new-hollowne.html"},"modified":"2009-01-29T10:46:10","modified_gmt":"2009-01-29T10:46:10","slug":"susan-schechter-a-new-hollowne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2009\/01\/susan-schechter-a-new-hollowne.html","title":{"rendered":"Susan Schechter: A New Hollowness in my Soul"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"depressed<\/span><\/p>\n

I just received the kindest note from Beyond Blue<\/a> reader Caroline who said that when she can’t sleep at night, sometimes she watches my videos … that I have a fierceness in my expression that gives her courage to fight. Wow. That made my day. I recognize the same fierceness in Susan Schechter who just penned an incredible piece on her blog, “If You’re Going Through Hell Keep Going.”<\/a> You can get to the piece by clicking here. <\/a>I’ve excerpted the beginning ….<\/p>\n

She sits in front of me in a big overstuffed black leather chair, black patent pumps swaying softly while she crosses and uncrosses her legs as a nervous tick.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

She is made up and looks like she just stepped out of Vogue for working women. I, on the other hand, look like an unmade bed. It’s been a week since my hair was washed, and that long since I showered. I did brush my teeth and floss before I got there, and brushed my long blonde hair, tying it up in a scrunchie. My jeans are clean, but the shirt I threw on, a black turtle from LL Bean, has a white mark from deodorant, and should have gone straight in the laundry pile. No make up , not even a trace of lip gloss. My shoes are brand new and hurt, brownish tan clogs from my parents for Christmas to replace the blue ones the cat destroyed a few months earlier. <\/p>\n

We are discussing my current med cocktail. The fact that it appears that my thyroid has shut down or is shutting down because I am constantly tired and sleeping close to 16 hours a day. I cannot eat but am drinking copious amounts of water. I crave sugar. The Dunkin Donuts across the street is singing a Siren Song to me. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Continue reading the piece by clicking here.<\/a><\/p>\n

To read more Beyond Blue, go to http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue<\/a>, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

To subscribe to “Beyond Blue” click here.<\/a><\/p>\n

\"rss.gif\"<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I just received the kindest note from Beyond Blue reader Caroline who said that when she can’t sleep at night, sometimes she watches my videos … that I have a fierceness in my expression that gives her courage to fight. Wow. That made my day. 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