{"id":1315,"date":"2008-08-04T09:45:00","date_gmt":"2008-08-04T09:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2008\/08\/the-loaves-and-fish-in-barbara.html"},"modified":"2008-08-04T09:45:00","modified_gmt":"2008-08-04T09:45:00","slug":"the-loaves-and-fish-in-barbara","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/08\/the-loaves-and-fish-in-barbara.html","title":{"rendered":"The Loaves and Fish in Barbara’s Life: God Is Never Fickle"},"content":{"rendered":"

Interestingly enough, just as I was contemplating how God really does take care of you when you take care of yourself, I received this note from Beyond Blue<\/a> Barbara:<\/p>\n

I am very happy. I’ve just been told that I have been hired to teach music at a local elementary school. I first interviewed in late June, but the process has taken a while to play out. I had already been asked to teach at a middle school, but it didn’t feel right for me. I prayed for this job because everything felt right – like when I got my current church job. I know that this is the reason I’ve been without any good leads for the past year. God has given Eldon and me so much, blessed us, and now I get to have the job I wanted.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I just wanted to share this with you. I’ve learned so much about relying on God this past year. Every time a job passed me by, I thought that it just wasn’t what God had for me. I needed to spend some time deciding whether or not I still even wanted to teach. When I was offered the middle school position, I didn’t feel any excitement or joy. Instead, I felt conflicted. It is amazing to feel that God has given me this gift of the elementary job. I know that it will bring challenges to growth, but I need only remind myself that God knows what I need, and that I am never forgotten by Him.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

When I told Barbara that I had declined a writing assignment that would have been a great opportunity–one that I thought was from God, but gave me anxiety–she wrote more about her process of seeing God in her life:<\/p>\n

In reading Margaret’s entry from last week on the blog, I know how hard it is to read that God is taking care of someone and feel like, “what about me?” I’ve occupied that space a fair amount. But for myself, there were a couple of things I needed to move beyond that place. <\/p>\n

First, having a friend (in my case my counselor) remind me of the ways God was taking care of my needs, especially when I didn’t see it at all. Second, was training myself, to see God’s provision in even the smallest things — seeing them as an embrace from God, especially during Eldon’s sickness and my job loss. I can honestly say that I am grateful to God for this past year. I have learned that nothing happens quickly in “Godtime.” I hope that I can maintain my gratitude and awareness, yet I know that I am a fickle lover of God. The comfort comes in knowing that my relationship does not depend upon me – it would fail. The greater response is God’s – the One who never changes or is fickle. I am an unworthy recipient of God’s concern, as we all are, but a thankful one.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

To read more Beyond Blue, go to www.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue<\/a>, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Interestingly enough, just as I was contemplating how God really does take care of you when you take care of yourself, I received this note from Beyond Blue Barbara: I am very happy. I’ve just been told that I have been hired to teach music at a local elementary school. 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