{"id":1257,"date":"2008-08-07T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-08-07T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2008\/08\/10-things-i-would-change-if-i.html"},"modified":"2008-08-07T10:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-08-07T10:00:00","slug":"10-things-i-would-change-if-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/08\/10-things-i-would-change-if-i.html","title":{"rendered":"10 Things I Would Change … If I Were Dying"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Group<\/span>
\nThanks to Group Beyond Blue<\/a> member iLiberty who started a discussion thread at Group Beyond Blue in Beliefnet Community<\/a> regarding what people would change if they knew they were dying. Her question was inspired by “The Last Lecture” video by college professor Randy Pausch <\/a>who died recently and left quite a legacy.<\/a> At Group Beyond Blue<\/a>, iLiberty writes:\u00a0<\/p>\n

\n

<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The quality of our lives, in some small part, is something we can address now. I realize I have no big dreams of traveling, or learning a language, and I’d miss my daughters’ weddings and grandchildren. But I’m more concerned here with HOW we live.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Shouldn’t we live like we are dying? What can we do now to increase the quality of our lives so that when we do die, the trip would have been worth it? Can we choose to prepare meals with much more care than throwing together some hamburger helper. Can we make our surroundings as neat and beautiful as we financially can afford to? (And I realize these are MY dreams. You have to come up with your own). Mel and I have some of the same simple desires. Kind of a Buddhist “living in mindfulness” kind of thing.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Would we really spend our time in front of the TV watching “American Idol” and other TV shows? Or would we spend it playing games with our kids and planting flowers? What can you do right now to increase the quality of your life before you die? Because I think I’d rather have quality than quantity where life is concerned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Back on my “Thursdays with Ben: Would Would You Change?”<\/a> post, I asked the same question. I decided that if I knew I were dying, I would make these changes:\u00a0\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
1. I would stress less about the small stuff.\u00a0\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
2. I would categorize everything as small stuff.\u00a0\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
3. I would worry less about people’s approval.\u00a0\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
4. I would make more time for coffee and phone calls with friends.\u00a0\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
5. I would visit my mom and my sisters more.\u00a0\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
6. I would eat more dessert and not care as much about the widening waist line.\u00a0\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
7. I would laugh more.\u00a0\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
8. I would publish my journal online–every thought I have, no matter how stupid or insane. Oh wait, I already do that.\u00a0\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
9. I would spend more time outdoors.\u00a0\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
10. I would eat breakfast with my kids, lunch with Eric, and dinner with my family.\u00a0\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
And here are some of the lists you made as comments to that post:<\/div>\n


\nBeyond Blue<\/a> reader Hondo wrote:\u00a0<\/p>\n

\n

<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

1. Would try to have a better relationship with God.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

2. Take my wife’s dream vacation to Alaska.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

3. Enjoy time with my family.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

4. Help others.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

5. Laugh more.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

6. Eat all the foods I enjoy.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

7. Spend more time enjoying the great outdoors.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

8. Skydive, because I’ve always wanted to do that.\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

9. Pray more\u00a0\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

10. And the best thought of all … that I know I would be going to heaven soon, and in heaven there is no major depression or bipolar disorder or any other kind of illnesses that are down here on earth. So maybe all the suffering we do on earth with all of our different kinds of mental and physical illnesses will, in heaven, be the greatest gift of all.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And Beyond Blue<\/a> reader Lisa K. wrote:\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

1. I would write a journal or book for my children?\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

2. Organize the crap in my life so my husband wouldn’t have to do it.?\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

3. Lead a support group for others who are terminally ill.\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

4. Make love to my husband every day and not be selfish about it.?\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

5. Write notes to my friends and acquaintances telling them things about them that mattered to me.?\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

6. Keep teaching as long as I could.?\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

7. Take the money I thought I would use to bury myself and instead send my husband to Hawaii?(and have myself cremated).\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

8. Forgive my parents.?\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

9. Throw a party for my friends – a wake before I die.?\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

10. Plant a garden.
\n?Wow…what a great list….I should get started on this right away!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

To read more Beyond Blue, go to www.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue<\/a>, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.<\/a><\/em><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thanks to Group Beyond Blue member iLiberty who started a discussion thread at Group Beyond Blue in Beliefnet Community regarding what people would change if they knew they were dying. Her question was inspired by “The Last Lecture” video by college professor Randy Pausch who died recently and left quite a legacy. At Group Beyond…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health"],"yoast_head":"\n10 Things I Would Change ... 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