{"id":1198,"date":"2008-06-10T09:45:00","date_gmt":"2008-06-10T09:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html"},"modified":"2008-06-10T09:45:00","modified_gmt":"2008-06-10T09:45:00","slug":"9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html","title":{"rendered":"9 Steps to Let Go of Perfectionism"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/psychologytoday.com\/articles\/pto-20080225-000002.xml\">Hara Estroff Marano suggests the following techniques in her article, &#8220;Pitfalls of Perfectionism,&#8221;<\/a> to let go of perfectionsim:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Perfectionists fear that if they give up perfectionism, they won&#8217;t be good anymore at anything; they&#8217;ll fall apart. In fact, perfectionism harms performance more than it helps. The worst thing about it, says Randy Frost [a professor at Smith College], is the belief that self-worth is contingent on performance\u2014that if you don&#8217;t do well, you&#8217;re worthless. It&#8217;s possible to escape that thinking.<br \/>\n1. First, watch a movie or a sunset or engage in some activity not affected by your perfectionistic strivings. Pay attention to how much pleasure you get from it.<br \/>\n2. Then engage in some activity\u2014say, tennis\u2014that is subject to your perfectionism. How much pleasure do you get from it?<br \/>\n3. Ask yourself: So I miss a shot, what does it mean for my self-worth?<br \/>\n4. Apply that same insight to all other activities: Is this perfectionistic orientation worth it for this task?<br \/>\n5. Now you actually need to experiment with a different way of evaluating yourself and your performance. So deliberately make a mistake; miss a shot in tennis.<br \/>\n6. Ask yourself: Does your opponent think less of you? Do observers think less of you? If your opponent makes a mistake, do you think less of him?<br \/>\n7. Play tennis and concentrate only on the motion of your body. Did you enjoy that set more?<br \/>\n8. Understand the nature of mistakes. They&#8217;re something we learn from\u2014more than from our successes.<br \/>\n9. Look upon failure as information, not a fixed or frozen outcome. It&#8217;s a signal to try something else\u2014another chance to learn.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><em>To read more <a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\">Beyond Blue, go to www.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue<\/a>, and to get to <a href=\"http:\/\/community.beliefnet.com\/beyondblue\">Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hara Estroff Marano suggests the following techniques in her article, &#8220;Pitfalls of Perfectionism,&#8221; to let go of perfectionsim: Perfectionists fear that if they give up perfectionism, they won&#8217;t be good anymore at anything; they&#8217;ll fall apart. In fact, perfectionism harms performance more than it helps. The worst thing about it, says Randy Frost [a professor&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>9 Steps to Let Go of Perfectionism - Beyond Blue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"9 Steps to Let Go of Perfectionism - Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hara Estroff Marano suggests the following techniques in her article, &#8220;Pitfalls of Perfectionism,&#8221; to let go of perfectionsim: Perfectionists fear that if they give up perfectionism, they won&#8217;t be good anymore at anything; they&#8217;ll fall apart. In fact, perfectionism harms performance more than it helps. The worst thing about it, says Randy Frost [a professor&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-06-10T09:45:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Beyond Blue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"9 Steps to Let Go of Perfectionism - Beyond Blue","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"9 Steps to Let Go of Perfectionism - Beyond Blue","og_description":"Hara Estroff Marano suggests the following techniques in her article, &#8220;Pitfalls of Perfectionism,&#8221; to let go of perfectionsim: Perfectionists fear that if they give up perfectionism, they won&#8217;t be good anymore at anything; they&#8217;ll fall apart. In fact, perfectionism harms performance more than it helps. The worst thing about it, says Randy Frost [a professor&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html","og_site_name":"Beyond Blue","article_published_time":"2008-06-10T09:45:00+00:00","author":"Beyond Blue","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html","name":"9 Steps to Let Go of Perfectionism - Beyond Blue","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website"},"datePublished":"2008-06-10T09:45:00+00:00","dateModified":"2008-06-10T09:45:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#\/schema\/person\/47318cdf8063cc052eccff0c99db4e75"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/2008\/06\/9-steps-to-let-go-of-perfectio.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"9 Steps to Let Go of Perfectionism"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beyondblue\/","name":"Beyond Blue","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Therese J. 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Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet.com. She is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression &amp; Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist. 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