{"id":9822,"date":"2015-01-23T22:30:46","date_gmt":"2015-01-24T03:30:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/?p=9822"},"modified":"2015-01-23T22:30:46","modified_gmt":"2015-01-24T03:30:46","slug":"talking-to-strangers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2015\/01\/talking-to-strangers.html","title":{"rendered":"talking to strangers"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I know, your mother told you not to. But now you’re a grown-up, and I beg you to reconsider. You’re sooo missing out!<\/p>\n

Yesterday I had the loveliest conversation with two strangers — two of the many I meet daily. Two of the many I almost always talk to (much to the eye-rolling of my beloved!). One of yesterday’s visits was at the place where I get my nails done (I can NOT go to my niece’s shower w\/ ratty nails!). A lovely woman several years older than I am had driven in from McAlester (about 3 hours from Tulsa) to celebrate her big birthday. She’s 3 years into her breast cancer survivorship, and glad to be alive. In for a facial & makeover, she & I talked as we waited.<\/p>\n

She has a son & daughter — the son lives near his parents. Her husband is recovering from a heart attack\/ stint operation several years ago, and we discussed the r\u00f4le of caregivers. Her insights were helpful, as I work through my beloved’s fall, and now the birth of a grandchild w\/ some challenges. It wasn’t only her giving to me, I hope, though: I listened. And (I hope she could tell) I learned.<\/p>\n

The other was with a new employee at the salon where I was waiting. We chatted about the demise of a small restaurant nearby, and exchanged the currency humans have tendered for millennia: ‘gossip.’ Why the restaurant closed, the lack of people skills on the part of the otherwise immensely talented chef. And connected, word by shared\u00a0word.<\/p>\n

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Listening (and learning) are grossly neglected in today’s hectic culture. Whatever you worry you\u00a0don’t<\/em> offer, you have ears. You have a face that can show you’re listening, that you care. How important that is! And if you share a bit of your life, with the stranger who shares his or hers? That’s the connection between us all made manifest. I breathe in, you breathe out. I talk, you hear. You talk, I hear. And BAM! We’re obviously connected, even though we were connected by so many other tenuous threads before we ever met.<\/p>\n

I know — it sounds both hoodoo-ey\u00a0and<\/em> roll-your-eyes disingenuous. But trust me: it’s also impeccable Buddhism. The ability to offer your listening human heart to a stranger? Who may just need a touch on the arm, a smile, a moment of your attention? Wow — how often have each of us been touched by just those infinitely precious gifts?<\/p>\n

So tomorrow? I’m going to sit for at least 5 minutes w\/ the woman married to my niece’s husband’s co-worker, who is driving in w\/ her pre-schooler to attend the shower. She will know no one but my niece. And soon, I hope, me. After all, it’s all about strangers…and connection…and beginner’s heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know, your mother told you not to. But now you’re a grown-up, and I beg you to reconsider. You’re sooo missing out! Yesterday I had the loveliest conversation with two strangers — two of the many I meet daily. Two of the many I almost always talk to (much to the eye-rolling of my…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[677,576,293,265],"tags":[11,1181,1187,262,1308,453],"class_list":["post-9822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-connectedness","category-everyday-living","category-listening","category-lovingkindness","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-everyday-living","tag-interconnectedness"],"yoast_head":"\ntalking to strangers - Beginner's Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I know, your mother told you not to. 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