{"id":9358,"date":"2014-10-15T21:21:07","date_gmt":"2014-10-16T01:21:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/?p=9358"},"modified":"2014-10-15T21:21:07","modified_gmt":"2014-10-16T01:21:07","slug":"ch-ch-changes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2014\/10\/ch-ch-changes.html","title":{"rendered":"ch-ch-changes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"ben<\/a>Ben Franklin is on record as having said, “When you are finished changing, you’re finished.”\u00a0<\/em>I LOVE that. And I heartily agree, although I confess: there are all kinds of change I resist fiercely.<\/p>\n

I don’t like ANY\u00a0 kind of changes to my schedule — if it interferes w\/’my’ time, it’s a pain. I’m only half-kidding: I have this perfectionist gene (probably from my Grandma Skidmore; my mom & dad certainly didn’t have it), where if you want me to finish before I think something is right<\/em>, I’m NOT going to be happy.<\/p>\n

So impromptu stuff is always kind of iffy, if I have to ‘produce.’ Unless it’s writing, which I”m comfortable enough with that I can crank it out. A letter of rec, a poem for a journal edited by a friend or colleague, even editing your essay. I can do those w\/ relative aplomb.<\/p>\n

But changing around the family room, for my beloved? That was harder. I had to reframe it (remember how important reframing <\/a>is?): had to remind myself how glad I would be to do this if Glen were in a rehab centre, away from me. And then it becomes an exercise in making the room comfortable for him, and efficient as well.<\/p>\n

And what about doing the grocery shopping (normally at least 1\/2 his job)? Or the other things that he did at least as much I did (filling bird feeders, running errands)…? Same thing. Wouldn’t I be grateful<\/em> to do these things if it meant he didn’t have to be somewhere else?<\/p>\n

\"via<\/a>
via wiki commons<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Which is the truth: doing these things enables him to be here, in our home, with me. Selfish, self-centered, human me.\u00a0 Who is NOT good w\/ changes. Not most kinds, at least — except, say, a new flavour of ice cream. And certainly not ones that hint at… mortality.<\/p>\n

So to read Franklin’s aphorism today — in a totally unexpected venue — was great. Affirming for me that change is NOT my enemy, and may well be my dear friend. IF I can bring myself to accept it. And even IF I don’t actually embrace it. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Thanks, Ben. I needed to hear this today. Most days, to be honest. So thanks. I am NOT finished. There’s still plenty of change left…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ben Franklin is on record as having said, “When you are finished changing, you’re finished.”\u00a0I LOVE that. And I heartily agree, although I confess: there are all kinds of change I resist fiercely. I don’t like ANY\u00a0 kind of changes to my schedule — if it interferes w\/’my’ time, it’s a pain. I’m only half-kidding:…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[353,766],"tags":[11,893,1181,1187,262,1274,1356],"class_list":["post-9358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change","category-reframing","tag-beginners-heart","tag-ben-franklin","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-change","tag-reframing"],"yoast_head":"\nch-ch-changes - Beginner's Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ben Franklin is on record as having said, "When you are finished changing, you're finished."\u00a0I LOVE that. 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