{"id":9220,"date":"2014-09-18T17:25:45","date_gmt":"2014-09-18T21:25:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/?p=9220"},"modified":"2014-09-18T17:25:45","modified_gmt":"2014-09-18T21:25:45","slug":"measuring-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2014\/09\/measuring-up.html","title":{"rendered":"measuring up"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"anubis2\"<\/a> Rarely do I feel inadequate, like I don’t measure up. If that sounds overly confident, I don’t mean to. It’s just that I don’t normally spend a lot of time comparing myself to others.<\/p>\n

From a very early age I knew my life wasn’t like most American kids, so while I may have wished I had a different life sometimes, I didn’t feel I was unworthy, or ‘less than.’ Different, yes. But not inferior.<\/p>\n

Still, when I rounded a corner in the Cairo museum many years ago, and saw this papyrus, I knew I would buy the copy hanging in our living room. Anubis <\/a>— Lord of the Underworld, more or less — is judging the souls of the recently dead, weighing each soul’s heart against truth, shown by a feather. Light-heartedness was a definite plus, if you didn’t want to be devoured by Ammit<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Which is a longish way of getting to my afternoon yesterday.<\/p>\n

Digression: Each time writers enter a journal contest, we pay (well, almost always) a submission fee. This helps underwrite the journal’s expenses for the contest, up to & including any cash prize(s). It also gives you a subscription to the journal. Which is a great way to learn more about contemporary writing.<\/p>\n

\"Ammit,<\/a>
Ammit, devourer of the dead. via Wikipedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But there can be a downside to reading a journal you just submitted your best work to: falling into the OMG! What the heck was I thinking, that I should submit here??? <\/em>abyss.<\/p>\n

Sigh. Who knew there was a journal that inherited the legacy of Ammit, devourer of the unworthy??<\/p>\n

I don’t really<\/em> believe I’m inadequate, and this is<\/em> a journal that once accepted a much earlier piece of mine. But through a series of missed connections, the piece never ran, and I ultimately placed it elsewhere. All’s well, etc. \ud83d\ude42 So I should, I know, let it go, and be glad I didn’t see the stunning piece FIRST, right?<\/p>\n

Because let me tell you — it’s even odds I would NOT have felt I … well, measured up. All this angst, even though I know<\/em> that by almost anyone’s metric, I’m a more than competent writer, even a prize-winning published writer. And yet we all have blind spots.<\/p>\n

A very dear friend just lost her job. Not her fault, although you’d never know that to hear her describe it. Stupid employment protocols w\/ noooo flexibility. Which means her previous employer is out a dedicated, hard-working, very knowledgeable employee. And my friend feels inadequate.<\/p>\n

When I hear a story like that, I’m embarrassed to confess my own piddly insecurities. Which is very good for my beginner’s heart. Did I mention I’m glad I didn’t see the great published pieces first? \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Rarely do I feel inadequate, like I don’t measure up. If that sounds overly confident, I don’t mean to. It’s just that I don’t normally spend a lot of time comparing myself to others. From a very early age I knew my life wasn’t like most American kids, so while I may have wished I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[870],"tags":[872,871,11,1181,1187,262,1373,873],"class_list":["post-9220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-measuring-up","tag-ammit","tag-anubis","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-measuring-up","tag-self-worth"],"yoast_head":"\nmeasuring up - Beginner's Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Rarely do I feel inadequate, like I don't measure up. If that sounds overly confident, I don't mean to. 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