{"id":9044,"date":"2014-08-16T13:33:59","date_gmt":"2014-08-16T17:33:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/?p=9044"},"modified":"2014-08-16T13:33:59","modified_gmt":"2014-08-16T17:33:59","slug":"heartsick-reprised","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2014\/08\/heartsick-reprised.html","title":{"rendered":"heartsick reprised"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"via<\/a>
via google<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I use this image alot in my blog. I wish I knew who first created it — they deserve my undying admiration & gratitude. Because to me, this is<\/em> beginner’s heart.<\/p>\n

It’s what I think of these days, especially, as I try to make sense of my own anger, frustration, and even despair. Anger at the blindness of a white, heterosexist, ersatz Christian culture. Frustration w\/ a system of police ‘protection’ migrated from a war on terror, as if wethepeople<\/em> were the enemy. And despair that nothing has changed since the riots of the 60s…<\/p>\n

Today, however, a dear friend and colleague — someone I have nothing but respect and affection for — reminded me that there is more to Ferguson than my raging against the night. There are people who live there, w\/ children who can’t go to school.<\/p>\n

Children who will need counseling to get this past week out of their nightmares. A QuikTrip that may not be rebuilt, in a neighbourhood with — almost certainly — too few sources for shopping.<\/p>\n

And still, I don’t know what to think, or how to process. So I SWORE I wasn\u2019t going to do FB today, or tomorrow. The tragic, racist, thoughtless and downright HATEFUL posts about Ferguson and the other murders of black men & women this past month have me too upset & angry.But to be honest, it\u2019s not strictly Ferguson. It\u2019s a society that believes the death of a black man is \u2018collateral damage.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\"via<\/a>
via google<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I understand that the officer in Ferguson may have been afraid. But face it: he did NOT know (at that time) of the robbery, if indeed there was one. So basically, he hassled a guy for living while black, and then freaked out because he bit off more than he could chew. In the BEST of scenarios, the officer is still grievously at fault: he hassled a guy for being black and jay-walking.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m just sick of it all. When I go out to eat w\/ my (black) friends Ben or Dewayne, it\u2019s SOOOO different than when I go out w\/ my husband, or my brother-in-law. Race is such a painful, horrible legacy in this country, and I don\u2019t know what to do except remind people, as often as it seems necessary, that we need to talk<\/em>.<\/p>\n

The response in Ferguson was waaaay out of proportion. And sure: parties on both sides are making political hay out of it. Witness the St. Louis PD, the KKK, the SLPC, etc. I tend to agree that it\u2019s no different, essentially, from the 4-5 other murders of black men & a woman <\/a>this past month. That doesn\u2019t comfort me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Somehow, we all have to find a way to heal these grievous wounds. And frankly? I can’t begin to heal myself, and no one has shot at me, profiled me, beat me up, or shot my son. So how on earth can Ferguson ever come to peace…?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I use this image alot in my blog. I wish I knew who first created it — they deserve my undying admiration & gratitude. Because to me, this is beginner’s heart. It’s what I think of these days, especially, as I try to make sense of my own anger, frustration, and even despair. Anger at…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[129,87,110,641,157,337,58],"tags":[11,1181,1187,262,51,1228,856,568,1225,1201],"class_list":["post-9044","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-race","category-racism","category-social-justice","category-stereotypes","category-tonglen","category-wrathful-compassion","category-writing","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-coping-with-anger","tag-engaged-buddhism","tag-ferguson","tag-race-in-america","tag-tonglen","tag-writing"],"yoast_head":"\nheartsick reprised - Beginner's Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I use this image alot in my blog. I wish I knew who first created it -- they deserve my undying admiration & gratitude. 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