{"id":8434,"date":"2014-05-04T13:08:37","date_gmt":"2014-05-04T17:08:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/?p=8434"},"modified":"2014-05-04T13:08:37","modified_gmt":"2014-05-04T17:08:37","slug":"our-basic-goodness-metta-and-the-golden-rule","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2014\/05\/our-basic-goodness-metta-and-the-golden-rule.html","title":{"rendered":"our basic goodness, metta, and the Golden Rule"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

At some point, we need to stop identifying with our weaknesses and shift our allegiance to our basic goodness.<\/em><\/p>\n

~ Pema Chodron<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I love this directive. And I especially like that it comes from a Buddhist thinker I so admire & respect. Because this, it seems to me, is the heart of the difference between Buddhism and many other wisdom traditions.\u00a0 Buddhism starts from the premise of an old song I also love: If I love myself enough\/ loving you won’t be so rough. <\/em>One of my deepest beliefs is that the Golden Rule means zip if you don’t begin w\/ strong self-love and acceptance.<\/p>\n

\"via<\/a>
via wikimedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

And yep: that’s the heart of the matter, right there. It’s what Buddhists & Quakers have in common (a lot of Quakers I know are also Buddhist, a fact that puzzled me until I learned more about Quakers) — the belief that there is an inner light\/ Buddha nature in everyone. And — Buddhists would add — everything.<\/p>\n

Today, as I stretched my arthritic joints on the deck, beneath the breathtaking Oklahoma sky, w\/a chorus of wrens & cardinals to serenade me, I thought (as I often do) of how much the world is filled w\/ beauty. Even arthritis can’t mess that up.<\/p>\n

What my frail human status can do, however, is remind me that it’s all so very ephemeral: spring, the wren, even the arthritis. If I sit in the sun, then stretch, I’m better. It’s that simple. But if I beat myself up I’m so stiff… it hurts to move… oh woe is me<\/em> I’m a mess. And sometimes (true confessions time) I AM a mess. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

\"heartbreak\"<\/a>
via Google<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But knowing that, and forgiving myself for it — picking my bruised beginner’s heart up off the floor of self-loathing — I am far better equipped for empathy. Which is, I think, just another word for compassion. For metta<\/em><\/a>, or lovingkindness. All branches of the same root, as I see it. (But ask your teacher — just another beginner’s heart, here.)<\/p>\n

After all, how can I love someone I don’t know if I can’t love the person I know best…myself? If I can’t find it in me to forgive myself for my many flaws (I don’t say faults, as the geology of fault lines and splitting into pieces is NOT a good analogy), how can I love anyone at all? We’re all so damn human! I.e., flawed, the natural state of human beings. Like precious stones, w\/ inclusions, but still so very beautiful.<\/p>\n

So I’m working — gently and as kindly as I can remind myself to remain — with an aging, creaky body that bears only the vaguest resemblance to my mind’s picture (firmly set in my 30s, I’m afraid…!). I’m firm w\/ my practice — my writing, for instance — but kind. Kind is grossly underrated. Well, except for the Dalai Lama — HE certainly gets is!<\/p>\n

Do yourself a favour today: be as gentle with yourself as you would be with a lovely child. Be as helpful, as patient, as kind. Focus on your many strengths (I write well. I’m a good teacher. I can cook. I love deeply and with eyes open.<\/em>). It will make you nicer to everyone else, as well. Which will bring you (& all the rest of us) joy. How simple is that?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At some point, we need to stop identifying with our weaknesses and shift our allegiance to our basic goodness. ~ Pema Chodron I love this directive. And I especially like that it comes from a Buddhist thinker I so admire & respect. Because this, it seems to me, is the heart of the difference between…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[367,83,113],"tags":[11,1181,1187,463,262,1207,1216,1259],"class_list":["post-8434","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-buddhism-christianity","category-golden-rule","category-metta","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhism-and-christianity","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-golden-rule","tag-metta","tag-pema-chodron"],"yoast_head":"\nour basic goodness, metta, and the Golden Rule - Beginner's Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"At some point, we need to stop identifying with our weaknesses and shift our allegiance to our basic goodness. ~ Pema Chodron I love this directive. 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