{"id":6997,"date":"2013-09-30T12:54:46","date_gmt":"2013-09-30T16:54:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beginnersheart\/?p=6997"},"modified":"2013-09-30T12:58:22","modified_gmt":"2013-09-30T16:58:22","slug":"someone-elses-road","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2013\/09\/someone-elses-road.html","title":{"rendered":"someone else&#8217;s road"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/239\/2013\/09\/Dalai-Lama-on-happiness.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-6998\" alt=\"Dalai Lama on happiness\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/239\/2013\/09\/Dalai-Lama-on-happiness.jpg\" width=\"278\" height=\"196\" \/><\/a>I need to remember this. It&#8217;s easy to forget, as we move from middle age into elder-ing. That&#8217;s my term for what seems to be happening these past couple of years: nieces, nephews, former students, younger colleagues &amp; friends &#8212; sometimes even sons! &#8212; asking for advice. Seeking input on life choices.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m very lucky to have a wonderful extended family. This past weekend was the wedding of one of my nieces, the one who lived w\/ us for awhile. So family was in from all over, and we spent a wonderful weekend talking and then talking more. All over good food, accompanied by great music. Even the rain couldn&#8217;t dampen the good times!<\/p>\n<p>But what I found was that it&#8217;s sometimes hard to articulate the difference (really to EVINCE the difference) between non-attachment and DEtachment. Of course I care what my colleagues, friends, &amp; family do. But I&#8217;m trying (and it&#8217;s not always easy!) to remember that people have their own paths through their own lives. And their lives are not mine, in any way.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes all someone you love needs is an ear, and a hug. Not advice at all &#8212; just love. Beginner&#8217;s heart.<\/p>\n<p>So I&#8217;m remembering that lovely line from a poem by the inimitable Tolkien: <em>not all who wander are lost<\/em>. And working at taking it deeply to heart ~<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I need to remember this. It&#8217;s easy to forget, as we move from middle age into elder-ing. That&#8217;s my term for what seems to be happening these past couple of years: nieces, nephews, former students, younger colleagues &amp; friends &#8212; sometimes even sons! &#8212; asking for advice. Seeking input on life choices. I&#8217;m very lucky&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[66,37],"tags":[11,1181,1187,262,385,1203,1195],"class_list":["post-6997","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-elders","category-family","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-eldering","tag-elders","tag-family"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>someone else&#039;s road - Beginner&#039;s Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I need to remember this. It&#039;s easy to forget, as we move from middle age into elder-ing. That&#039;s my term for what seems to be happening these past couple\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2013\/09\/someone-elses-road.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"someone else&#039;s road - Beginner&#039;s Heart\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I need to remember this. It&#039;s easy to forget, as we move from middle age into elder-ing. 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