{"id":6906,"date":"2013-09-15T18:50:03","date_gmt":"2013-09-15T22:50:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beginnersheart\/?p=6906"},"modified":"2013-09-15T18:50:03","modified_gmt":"2013-09-15T22:50:03","slug":"suffering-and-letting-go","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2013\/09\/suffering-and-letting-go.html","title":{"rendered":"suffering, and letting go…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"letting<\/a>Buddhism assures me there will be suffering in life. That pain will come (and go). That change will as often be for the worse as for the better. But as a generally optimistic person, I usually ignore this.\u00a0 (I know — what kind of Buddhist am I?? \ud83d\ude42 )<\/p>\n

And so, when I am confronted by truly mean people — people who will lash out in their own anger and say mean, hateful things — I’m flummoxed. And then I too become angry.<\/p>\n

Sigh. BIG sigh. Because this really helps no one, and only makes my nights into dark sleepless hours of stomach-churning and head-spinning.<\/p>\n

Because I am, at heart, an emotional engineer. I want to FIX <\/em> things. I want to stop the hurt — my own and that of the ones I love. And how very wise the Buddha was when he shook his head (surely he shook his head?) and said so many centuries ago: Suffering I teach, and the way out of suffering<\/a>.<\/em> And the way out? Just to get through it. Without letting the feeling dominate you.\"rage2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Doesn’t that sound simple? But it’s the hardest thing I know. As I try not to let the anger take me over, to just ‘feel it and endure,’ I am almost sick. How can you say you love people if you throw the jagged blades of knife-words at them? What kind of love is that? How can I speak kindly to a person who enrages me? Even if, once, I loved them?<\/p>\n

But then… what kind of love alters when it alteration finds<\/em>….? Shakespeare knew what he was talking about. When I am this angry with someone, it certainly doesn’t feel like love. And it’s hard as hell to just ‘endure’ it…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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