{"id":6727,"date":"2013-08-23T12:54:00","date_gmt":"2013-08-23T16:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beginnersheart\/?p=6727"},"modified":"2013-08-24T19:14:29","modified_gmt":"2013-08-24T23:14:29","slug":"making-your-own-space","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2013\/08\/making-your-own-space.html","title":{"rendered":"making your own space ~"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beginnersheart\/files\/2013\/08\/image13.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-6729\" alt=\"image\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/239\/2013\/08\/image13-300x168.jpg\" width=\"210\" height=\"118\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Staying with my son &amp; DIL means a smaller bed. And believe me, my beloved &amp; I have not shrunk to fit. We&#8217;re used to a king-sized bed in deeply air-conditioned comfort. Here we have an attic fan and closer quarters. Which isn&#8217;t all bad, but is certainly&#8230; closer. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>Except that my husband tends to sleep diagonally across our large bed at home. There, it&#8217;s not a problem. Here? It means I have NO ROOM. \u00a0Which makes me verry cranky.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the problem with a habit: you do it w\/out thinking. You can make an honest effort NOT to do it, and then forget, reverting back to what&#8217;s ingrained. Which is, of course, what you do when you&#8217;re asleep. And poking someone while they&#8217;re asleep isn&#8217;t really &#8230; nice. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>Why I&#8217;m sharing: because I figured out something pretty cool from this experience. I can\u00a0<em>just take more room.<\/em> I can politely &#8212; but firmly &#8212; make my own space!<\/p>\n<p>Okay, so this may not be revolutionary to some of you. But to me? I&#8217;ve always ASKED for what I want, not just taken it, however nicely. But sometimes taking what you need is OKAY. And &#8212; almost certainly, in this case &#8212; nicer!<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t tell you what a big learning moment this was for me. I know, I know: I sound like a total dork confessing this. But seriously: how many things do I make a big-ass deal about, when I should just calmly &amp; politely take what is fair? Think of all the nagging we could avoid!<\/p>\n<p>So here&#8217;s my advice for the day: stop kvetching. Nicely put your foot down (or make your own space:)) and save your breath for something more important. Like meditating. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Staying with my son &amp; DIL means a smaller bed. And believe me, my beloved &amp; I have not shrunk to fit. We&#8217;re used to a king-sized bed in deeply air-conditioned comfort. Here we have an attic fan and closer quarters. Which isn&#8217;t all bad, but is certainly&#8230; closer. \ud83d\ude42 Except that my husband tends&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[576,319,1],"tags":[11,1181,1187,262,1195],"class_list":["post-6727","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-everyday-living","category-learning","category-uncategorized","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-family"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>making your own space ~ - Beginner&#039;s Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Staying with my son &amp; DIL means a smaller bed. And believe me, my beloved &amp; I have not shrunk to fit. 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Years spent living on the margins - in places with exotic names and food shortages - have left her with a visceral response to folks \u2018without,\u2019 as well as a desire to live her Buddhism in an engaged fashion. She\u2019s a writer and a teacher, the former director of a federal non-profit for teachers who write. She believes that if we talk to each other, we can learn to love each other (but she's still learning how). And she believes in tea. 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