{"id":6661,"date":"2013-08-19T14:48:11","date_gmt":"2013-08-19T18:48:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beginnersheart\/?p=6661"},"modified":"2013-08-19T14:48:11","modified_gmt":"2013-08-19T18:48:11","slug":"home-repairs-medication-and-beginners-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2013\/08\/home-repairs-medication-and-beginners-heart.html","title":{"rendered":"home repairs, medication, and beginner’s heart…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"heartbreak\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When I visualise a beginner’s heart — at least my own — I see this picture. Because when your heart is open, sometimes it gets bumped. And as it grows — and you’re not aware, often that it has — you miscalculate. Think of the clumsiness of growing puppies.<\/p>\n

I think of my beginner’s heart as an ungainly, galumpy puppy. Not particularly flattering, but true.<\/p>\n

And when I’m sitting with my grandson, my heart is always growing. I swear: when he laughs or smiles? I hear almost inaudible cracks in the armature of a heart I never previously considered armoured.<\/p>\n

But that also means that my heart is as open as tree branches in the fall, after all the leaves have sifted into bright piles. I am vulnerable (and sensitive) to ordinary teasing in a way that \u00a0otherwise rarely occurs.<\/p>\n

Especially when I forgot to take my anti-inflammatories, AND my anti-depressants! Sheesh — maybe I’m the one needing a minder…<\/p>\n

Seriously — as my son & husband work on remediating a house we all thought would be okay (it wasn’t), and my DIL works on unpacking, writing a research conference proposal, putting together two sets of bathroom shelves, and all the things the three of them are very busy doing, I hold Trin. Which is great. But even a baby’s smile sometimes doesn’t wipe out unthinking hot-&-tired-guy comments.<\/p>\n

My husband and sons love me dearly. And because I have all the characteristics of a bonafide extrovert, they sometimes forget I’m not one of the guys. Except that I’m neither a \u00a0true extrovert nor a guy. \ud83d\ude42\u00a0\"image\"<\/a><\/p>\n

That’s not to say that all females are more sensitive than all males. Only that this female is more sensitive to guy banter than my guys are. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

And the point? \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

I am trying to remember that the world is much like this — everyone busy with important life stuff. And not always focusing (in fact, often not the least interested!) in my inner workings. So that the ‘slings & arrows’ of my everyday life have far more to do with my perspective than with intention. It’s a good thing to remember. And I’m willing to bet it’s true for all of you, as well. Anti-inflammatories help, too.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I visualise a beginner’s heart — at least my own — I see this picture. Because when your heart is open, sometimes it gets bumped. And as it grows — and you’re not aware, often that it has — you miscalculate. Think of the clumsiness of growing puppies. I think of my beginner’s heart…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[552,37,571,549],"tags":[11,1181,1187,262,1195,1307],"class_list":["post-6661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-beginners-heart-2","category-family","category-getting-the-blues","category-grandmothers","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-family","tag-getting-the-blues"],"yoast_head":"\nhome repairs, medication, and beginner's heart... - Beginner's Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When I visualise a beginner's heart -- at least my own -- I see this picture. Because when your heart is open, sometimes it gets bumped. 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