{"id":6545,"date":"2013-08-03T16:26:30","date_gmt":"2013-08-03T20:26:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beginnersheart\/?p=6545"},"modified":"2013-08-03T16:26:30","modified_gmt":"2013-08-03T20:26:30","slug":"self-love-and-the-golden-rule","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2013\/08\/self-love-and-the-golden-rule.html","title":{"rendered":"self-love and the Golden Rule –"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"kuanon<\/a>Most religions have a version of the Golden Rule: love others as you love yourself. Treat others as you would be treated. Do unto others as you would be done by.<\/em> Here’s the catch: It means ZIP if you don’t love yourself. Respect yourself. Treat yourself with kindness.<\/p>\n

And another ‘secret’: most of us DON’T treat ourselves as we would a friend. We say mean things to ourselves (you are SO fat! how STUPID are you?? what were you THINKING??<\/em>). Hurtful things we would never utter to a friend. Maybe not even to someone we didn’t like!<\/p>\n

One of the (many) reasons I think of myself as a Unitarian Universalist is that Universalists believe NO ONE goes to hell. Not even… Hitler! Because if people can forgive (and in this case? Think of Sister Prejean<\/a> — Dead Man Walking — for an example of saintly forgiveness), surely an omnipotent One is capable of even more. Of maybe even wiping clean the evil and beginning w\/ a clean heart. Who knows?<\/p>\n

I have no idea what went on in Hitler’s mind, or what goes on in the mind of a man who would pull a pink headband off the head of a 2-year-old boy, and swear at the boy and his mother. A minor evil, certainly, compared to the evil overlord, but still evil. But I can forgive a man so threatened by homophobia that he takes it out on a toddler, even as I wonder what the heck is wrong with him.<\/p>\n

But can I forgive myself the many times I’m unkind? The many days I’m tired and cranky, and snap at my damn-near-perfect husband? How about times I explode at politicians, and ersatz religious leaders who advocate hate & hostilities? Because if I can’t forgive myself for these infractions, as a friend told me recently: they will work themselves inside you, and you will see them everywhere.<\/em><\/p>\n

Since I DO — waaay too often! — I am resolved again to work harder. Be it resolved: I will treat myself more kindly.<\/em><\/p>\n

That does NOT mean I will lower my standards, however. Just that I won’t beat myself when I (inevitably!) fail ~<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Most religions have a version of the Golden Rule: love others as you love yourself. Treat others as you would be treated. Do unto others as you would be done by. Here’s the catch: It means ZIP if you don’t love yourself. Respect yourself. Treat yourself with kindness. And another ‘secret’: most of us DON’T…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,83,4,68],"tags":[11,1181,1187,262,1185,1207,1204],"class_list":["post-6545","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-compassion","category-golden-rule","category-unitarian","category-universalism","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-compassion","tag-golden-rule","tag-universalism"],"yoast_head":"\nself-love and the Golden Rule - Beginner's Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Most religions have a version of the Golden Rule: love others as you love yourself. Treat others as you would be treated. 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