{"id":1858,"date":"2011-10-09T17:58:56","date_gmt":"2011-10-09T21:58:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beginnersheart\/?p=1858"},"modified":"2011-10-09T17:58:56","modified_gmt":"2011-10-09T21:58:56","slug":"why-would-you-disavow-your-happy-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2011\/10\/why-would-you-disavow-your-happy-life.html","title":{"rendered":"why would you disavow your happy life?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beginnersheart\/files\/2011\/10\/Britt-Pat-in-car.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-1860 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/239\/2011\/10\/Britt-Pat-in-car-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" \/><\/a>I love my car. And I love the few times I&#8217;ve been able to ride in it w\/ my BFF. I&#8217;ve had it for 10 years this month, and I still love it. Strangers drive up next to me and tell me <em>they<\/em> love it. (This happened just yesterday, at the intersection of 71st &amp; Wallenberg.)<\/p>\n<p>I love my husband. He&#8217;s funny, brilliant, and my dearest friend. We&#8217;ve been married longer than some of my younger friends have been around.<\/p>\n<p>My two sons are damn near perfect. They&#8217;re witty, intelligent, socially responsible, and infinitely loveable. As is my amazing daughter-in-law, who not only is working on a highly complex advanced degree, but can sew, cook, <em>and<\/em> make jewelry.<\/p>\n<p>My nieces are also the best gift possible. Unless you include my nephews&#8230;:) All of whom are witty, intelligent, savvy and kind.<a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beginnersheart\/files\/2011\/10\/hall-table-with-pictures.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-1863\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/239\/2011\/10\/hall-table-with-pictures-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Are you getting the picture of a wonderful, full-to-overflowing life? And I haven&#8217;t even mentioned the incredibly dedicated professionals w\/ whom I work, or my bus driver, who buys me Christmas presents, or my doctor, who is funnier than you&#8217;d expect from a serious medical professional.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, here are all these people, things, and activities that illuminate my life like the full moon. And what do I do too often? <strong><em>Feel guilty!<\/em><\/strong> What is up with that??<\/p>\n<p>Digression that I promise is related: I once heard Lama Chokyi tell a story at a lecture about trying to define &#8216;guilt&#8217; for a Tibetan lama. Apparently the Tibetans have no comparable word. As Lama Chokyi went in to more and more detail about what it was, why it happened, etc., the Tibetan monk&#8217;s eyes grew larger, until finally he threw up his hands in horror.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Why would you <em>do\u00a0 <\/em>that to yourself?&#8221; he exclaimed.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/beginnersheart\/files\/2011\/10\/roller-coaster-monks.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-1869\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/239\/2011\/10\/roller-coaster-monks-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a>Exactly.<\/p>\n<p>So when I feel guilty about my great good fortune, my busy, hectic, amazingly rich and varied life &#8212; friends who indulge my sense of humour, family who phone me regularly, nieces who ask me to do things with them &#8212; I repeat something the Dalai Lama wrote or said (and I haven&#8217;t found it since&#8230;):<\/p>\n<p><em>Why would you disavow your happy life?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I hold this thought in mind like a mandala, running my thoughts over and around it. I breathe, reminding myself that not all days are good, but when they are? Enjoy them.<\/p>\n<p>Until I relax, and try to just let go. And I do something the Christian writer (and closet mystic) <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elizabethgoudge.org\/Index.htm\" target=\"_blank\">Elizabeth Goudge<\/a> use to speak of in her many novels: I offer it up. All this joy, the undeserved good fortune that surrounds me, I offer it up as a kind of deposit in the universe. Like a young woman in my class said &#8212; why is it wrong to be happy you&#8217;re blessed?<\/p>\n<p>Think about it: do you disavow your happy life?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I love my car. And I love the few times I&#8217;ve been able to ride in it w\/ my BFF. I&#8217;ve had it for 10 years this month, and I still love it. Strangers drive up next to me and tell me they love it. (This happened just yesterday, at the intersection of 71st &amp;&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,8,37,153],"tags":[11,1181,1187,1183,81,204,203],"class_list":["post-1858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-buddhism","category-dalai-lama","category-family","category-middle-age","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-dalai-lama","tag-enlightenment","tag-guilt","tag-lama-chokyi"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>why would you disavow your happy life? - Beginner&#039;s Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I love my car. And I love the few times I&#039;ve been able to ride in it w\/ my BFF. 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