{"id":11423,"date":"2016-06-10T18:14:04","date_gmt":"2016-06-10T22:14:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/?p=11423"},"modified":"2016-06-10T18:14:04","modified_gmt":"2016-06-10T22:14:04","slug":"heart-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2016\/06\/heart-family.html","title":{"rendered":"heart family"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"via<\/a>
via flickr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I have heart family. Brothers who have grown into their places, sisters who do not need similar faces to be part of my heart\u2019s family. Once I even had almost-mothers, and almost-aunts, each now lost to time and distance.<\/p>\n

This weekend, one of my brothers is here to visit his own father (no kin \u2013 real or otherwise \u2013 to me). His father is elderly, and fragile. Although sometimes I wonder if that \u2018Greatest Generation\u2019 isn\u2019t stronger than all their children!<\/p>\n

My brother\u2019s unexpected visit reminds me that I have lost touch w\/ other friends, from other times: friends I now have nothing in common with. Men & women who were once almost as dear to me as my family now \u2013 real & otherwise. \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n

\"my<\/a>
my heart nieces<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Why do some friendships last lifetimes? What feeds that kind of love, where other loves wither & fall away from us? Is it like values? Shared experiences? Random luck? My brother lives a day\u2019s journey from me, and he & his wife had their children much later than we had ours, although all four of us adults are about the same age. Their youngest is 14 \u2013 mine is more than twice that. So yes, we both have children. But so do people I have let go of, people I have watched slip past me into a that was then<\/em> time.But G’s\u00a0children — his\u00a0three intelligent, sensitive, amazing daughters — call me ‘Aunt.’ They email me sometimes, send me a paper draft to look at. Share their lives with me. They too are family.<\/p>\n

When G & his beloved A & the three girls come to town, they always get in touch. A & one of the girls & I \u00a0also connect through FB. And\u00a0when they come, like most families, we have traditions: a visit to our favourite museum restaurant & garden, a walk across the river bridge. I give them trinkets, sometimes. They gift me with origami cranes & frogs & boxes.<\/p>\n

My brother & sister-in-law shares my values, sure. But so, once, did others. I suppose part of today’s relationship is that my brother & I \u2013 and our beloveds \u2013 have grown into similar values as we\u2019ve aged. That isn\u2019t true of many of my once-upon-a-time friends, who now\u00a0espouse political positions I find heartbreaking.<\/p>\n

\"via<\/a>
via pixabay<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So here I am, beyond grateful for what is, in some ways, random luck. Wondering \u2013 believer in magic that I am \u2013 if there is intent to the universe. If my brother & his wife \u2013 closer to me than some blood family \u2013 are \u2018meant\u2019 to be part of my life. The usual ties that bind do not tie us: we live far from each other; we have different time lines; we work in different fields. And still? We are family. But because we don\u2019t share blood ties, I am the more grateful that we continue together. It does, indeed, seem magical.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re lucky enough to have heart family, you know exactly what I mean. And I\u2019m sure you treasure them as much as I do, knowing well what they bring to your beginner\u2019s heart. Today? Drop a line to one of your heart family. Let them know you love them. It will be a gift to both of you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have heart family. Brothers who have grown into their places, sisters who do not need similar faces to be part of my heart\u2019s family. Once I even had almost-mothers, and almost-aunts, each now lost to time and distance. This weekend, one of my brothers is here to visit his own father (no kin \u2013…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,314,397],"tags":[1391,11,1181,1187,262,1195,1262,1281],"class_list":["post-11423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-friendship","category-love","tag-1391","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-family","tag-friendship","tag-love"],"yoast_head":"\nheart family - Beginner's Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I have heart family. 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