{"id":11176,"date":"2016-01-18T14:15:50","date_gmt":"2016-01-18T19:15:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/?p=11176"},"modified":"2016-01-18T14:15:50","modified_gmt":"2016-01-18T19:15:50","slug":"the-art-of-interdependence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2016\/01\/the-art-of-interdependence.html","title":{"rendered":"the art of interdependence"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_11177\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11177\" style=\"width: 255px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/239\/2016\/01\/zodiac.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11177\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/239\/2016\/01\/zodiac.png\" alt=\"via google\" width=\"255\" height=\"255\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11177\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">via google<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I love reading my\u00a0horoscope. I won&#8217;t go so far as to say I believe it, but often it really does hit the nail, etc. Spot-on, as a Brit friend of mine would say.<\/p>\n<p>Today was one of those days.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m involved in several non-profit organisations. (When you work cheap &#8212; free! &#8212; folks ask you to do so&#8230;a LOT.) And sometimes, the requirements to do a good job overlap with family commitments, w\/other organisations, w\/illness, etc. To the point where I can grow to feel overwhelmed.<\/p>\n<p>But here&#8217;s the deal: a word from anyone (even an online horoscope \ud83d\ude42 ) can remind us what our values are, and that working for larger goals requires that we cede some of our autonomy\u00a0<em>those lovely hours when nothing looms<\/em> to working as a team. It means juggling family needs &#8212; however immediate &amp; pressing &#8212; w\/conferences, advocacy, meetings &amp; other commitments. And it&#8217;s not that it&#8217;s onerous: a 40-hour workweek it isn&#8217;t! Even though it takes time &amp; effort (like trees, which are such needy things in early years!), it bears fruit. Like&#8230;well, trees.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_11180\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11180\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/files\/2016\/01\/fruit-tree.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11180\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/239\/2016\/01\/fruit-tree-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"via wikimedia\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11180\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">via wikimedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>My horoscope this week &#8212; the week I totally spaced on an important meeting, the week I had to tell someone that I was waiting to hear from family re: commitments that had just been written across\u00a0my previously blank calendar &#8212; was succinct:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.freewillastrology.com\/horoscopes\/aries.html\" target=\"_blank\">If you want the power to help shape group processes, you must give up some of your autonomy. In order to motivate allies to work toward shared goals, you need to practice the art of interdependence.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>You don&#8217;t get much more overt than THAT!<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s true, though. If we\u00a0want to be part of the solution, we\u00a0have to BE part of it. We\u00a0have to show up. We\u00a0have to do the slogging work, not just be greedy piglets for what few perks may come. That doesn&#8217;t mean it doesn&#8217;t continue to be difficult (at least for me) to schedule these my many priorities: a supportive visit to family, a meeting, a conference, a dinner honouring a guest. I struggle almost daily w\/how to parse my own values, if that makes sense. I am my parents&#8217; daughter, so\u00a0family is always at the top of any list. And yet&#8230; I also have to &#8216;show up&#8217; for these children of my heart &#8212; social justice, the arts, mentees who need letters of reference, recommendations, and other motions of support that require time &amp; scheduling.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_11182\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11182\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/files\/2016\/01\/pebbles2-e1453143227333.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11182\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/239\/2016\/01\/pebbles2-e1453143227333-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"the author's\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11182\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">the author&#8217;s<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Remember the meme going around for a while, about the rocks\u00a0in your jar? For me, it became pebbles in a bowl a dear friend chose for me. Each pebble a week, one swallowed\u00a0permanently by\u00a0time&#8217;s greedy throat. And how I spend each one is all I have control over. So when I choose one each Sunday, to represent that week&#8217;s activities, what I&#8217;m also doing is giving a colour value, a weight &amp; tangible heft, to my values. This week&#8217;s pebble was all different shades of brown &amp; cream, almost muddy. But since my &#8216;pebbles&#8217; are polished, the browns are a bit clearer. \ud83d\ude42 And that&#8217;s good. Because while my values\u00a0<em>do<\/em> bleed together, at the same time each person or organisation or cause has different, separate needs.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe this makes no sense at all (my beloved often reminds me that most folks do NOT get my metaphors!). But this is, fundamentally, how I think, how I make sense of the world around me. In pictures\u00a0<em>rocks\u00a0in a jar, pebbles in a bowl\u00a0<\/em>and stories and signs\u00a0<em>a fortune from a horoscope, the planting of a tree<\/em>. I hope it works at least a little for you, too. So that you begin to pay more attention to how you spend your time. Because how we spend our time is where we show up. Which is, of course, where our values are. It&#8217;s all interconnected: values, time, priorities, our people and their needs. Hence the interdependence. Kind of like, oh, that old Buddhist web&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I love reading my\u00a0horoscope. I won&#8217;t go so far as to say I believe it, but often it really does hit the nail, etc. Spot-on, as a Brit friend of mine would say. Today was one of those days. I&#8217;m involved in several non-profit organisations. (When you work cheap &#8212; free! &#8212; folks ask you&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[718,1144,594,125],"tags":[1147,11,1187,262,1348,1146,434,1314,1218,1145],"class_list":["post-11176","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-horoscopes","category-interdependence","category-time","category-values","tag-autonomy","tag-beginners-heart","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-horoscopes","tag-interdependence","tag-the-web","tag-time","tag-values","tag-zodiac"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>the art of interdependence - Beginner&#039;s Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I love reading my\u00a0horoscope. 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