{"id":10689,"date":"2015-07-24T12:36:21","date_gmt":"2015-07-24T16:36:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/?p=10689"},"modified":"2015-07-24T12:36:21","modified_gmt":"2015-07-24T16:36:21","slug":"temper-temper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2015\/07\/temper-temper.html","title":{"rendered":"temper temper"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"via<\/a>
via google<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I’m probably going to get a LOT of pushback on this, but at least in my family, men have worse tempers than the rest of us. And<\/em> they don’t believe it!<\/p>\n

Sheesh.<\/p>\n

Give a guy a cold, a fever, too much work, too many things to do, and he plotzes. Loudly, w\/ a LOT of casualties. Women? For the most part — and I realise I’m generalising here — they ask for help, juggle, push through, or go to ground. They normally don’t punch the person next to them.<\/p>\n

I say this as the mother of sons, the aunt of nephews, the happily-married-for-decades wife of my beloved, and teacher of many.<\/p>\n

Here’s the deal: men evolved to erupt: in action, in fierce protection, in defense. It’s hard-wired beneath a\u00a0relatively thin veneer of communal cooperation and politesse. Women evolved to collaborate, not to go rush mastodons.<\/p>\n

As a card-carrying feminist mother, I swore my sons would have dolls (they did — could have cared less), Hasty Bake ovens, other gendered playthings. They wanted guns (not allowed in play form – they made them from Legos) and books on poisonous spiders. Now here’s the catch: so did I, as a little girl. So I’m well aware that generalisations should\u00a0never become stereotypes. But I think we ignore our biologies at our own peril. Those times when my beloved would ask (very carefully, from a distance) if my ‘hormones might be running’? He was correct far more often than not. That’s biology, as long as he doesn’t use that as an excuse to ignore legit issues.<\/p>\n

\"via<\/a>
via wikipedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

(He almost never did.)<\/p>\n

Biology isn’t destiny, of course. It’s predisposition, or predilection, or an easy four-lane\u00a0instead of the off-road scenic route. We don’t HAVE to give in to what we’re programmed for. There are so many examples of this I probably shouldn’t even bother going here, but a few come to mind: decisions to stay single, not to have children, not to have biological children, to remain celibate, to live in solitude and\/or silence. None of these would serve the species well biologically — they almost certainly aren’t, in other words, hard-wired in. They’re conscious choices we make, according to our contemporary lives, needs, desires.<\/p>\n

Like not punching the person next to you when you’re upset. That’s another good one to cultivate. Just sayin’…..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m probably going to get a LOT of pushback on this, but at least in my family, men have worse tempers than the rest of us. And they don’t believe it! Sheesh. Give a guy a cold, a fever, too much work, too many things to do, and he plotzes. Loudly, w\/ a LOT of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[335,278,61,1],"tags":[1270,11,1181,1187,262,1202],"class_list":["post-10689","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anger","category-evolution","category-gender","category-uncategorized","tag-anger","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-gender"],"yoast_head":"\ntemper temper - Beginner's Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I'm probably going to get a LOT of pushback on this, but at least in my family, men have worse tempers than the rest of us. 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