{"id":10436,"date":"2015-05-25T17:40:03","date_gmt":"2015-05-25T21:40:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/?p=10436"},"modified":"2015-05-25T17:40:03","modified_gmt":"2015-05-25T21:40:03","slug":"hunting-for-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/beginnersheart\/2015\/05\/hunting-for-home.html","title":{"rendered":"hunting for home"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"from<\/a>
from fiddler’s green, blacksburg<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Looking for a house is hard. Looking while recognising that this will be your long-term home — not a rental, not a summer vacation — is even harder.<\/p>\n

You find yourself confronting unspoken pre-reqs. And sometimes, unfortunately, even the happiest of couples have different pre-reqs. Which makes for…interesting conversations. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

My beloved & I are finally on task to move to be w\/ our son, DIL, & grandson. So obviously we need someplace to live (believe it or not, the ‘kids’ don’t want parents living forever in their basement!).<\/p>\n

I want small — little to clean up, little to maintain. My beloved wants comfort, and a big garage. I’d just as soon sell my car & get a Vespa (yes!). He’s not down with that.<\/p>\n

I’m fine w\/ a fixer-upper: not structural changes, but maybe hardwoods, and new kitchen countertops. Possibly having to frame in a carport. He’s worried we’ll over-commit, and get a house that needs far too much fixing up. I like Mission & Craftsman bungalows; he’s fine w\/ almost anything.<\/p>\n

\"via<\/a>
via wikipedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The point to this is we carry around all kinds of unexamined attachments — to smaller houses, to our childhood homes, to work spaces. But also to far less tangible desires: success, pride, bias. Even if some are ‘positive’ — a work ethic is desirable at work, but may well interfere w\/ home life if pursued slavishly.<\/p>\n

So I’m letting go — as much as I can — of my attachments to a certain kind of house, hoping I can instead create a home. And that will — I hope! — be enough for both of us. Whatever our initial attachments.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Looking for a house is hard. Looking while recognising that this will be your long-term home — not a rental, not a summer vacation — is even harder. You find yourself confronting unspoken pre-reqs. And sometimes, unfortunately, even the happiest of couples have different pre-reqs. Which makes for…interesting conversations. \ud83d\ude42 My beloved & I are…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":398,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[200,1023],"tags":[1234,11,1181,1187,262,642,1308,1004],"class_list":["post-10436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-attachment","category-compromise","tag-attachment","tag-beginners-heart","tag-britton-gildersleeve","tag-buddhism","tag-buddhist-blogs","tag-compromise","tag-everyday-living","tag-home"],"yoast_head":"\nhunting for home - Beginner's Heart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Looking for a house is hard. Looking while recognising that this will be your long-term home -- not a rental, not a summer vacation -- is even harder. 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