{"id":767,"date":"2018-06-17T22:35:28","date_gmt":"2018-06-17T22:35:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/?p=767"},"modified":"2018-06-17T22:35:43","modified_gmt":"2018-06-17T22:35:43","slug":"often-taking-privates-public-2-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2018\/06\/often-taking-privates-public-2-3.html","title":{"rendered":"How Often Are You Taking Your Privates Public?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>At times it can involve forbidden taboos.<\/p>\n<p>To others it&#8217;s no big deal\u00a0 at any time.<\/p>\n<p>And then you have the people who see it both ways depending on the situation.<\/p>\n<p>Now let&#8217;s consider what happens when you bring something that magnifies it all&#8230;such as a TV.<\/p>\n<p>Well not just any ordinary TV.<\/p>\n<p>Picture this&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>If your life were broadcasted on 24 hour TV and the world got to see everything you do&#8230;would you care? Would you have a problem with that?<\/p>\n<p>In other words&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>If the entire world had the opportunity to see you live your life 24 hours a day&#8230;would you be able to love the things about yourself that you would ordinarily want no one else to know&#8230;those things you usually do all you can to keep private?<\/p>\n<p>Have you ever thought about this in some way?<\/p>\n<p>Whether you have or haven&#8217;t, to some degree\u00a0 you reveal parts of your private self to others in your public life.<\/p>\n<p>So the question is&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>How often are you taking your privates public?<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. The Adjusted American<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s an interesting book I just read called the Adjusted American. It was written back in 1964 and is about the normal neuroses in individuals and society.<\/p>\n<p>Early on in the book it talks about how most people are VERY much concerned with what others think of them&#8230;and how this is not a healthy habit. It also goes on to talk about how humans have the need to be recognized.<\/p>\n<p>While the book title may reference Americans, what they talk about applies to humans throughout the world&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And this ties right in with the idea of you being on 24 hour world TV.<\/p>\n<p>Think about it&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>How many times have you been in a situation&#8230;maybe you were at the store&#8230;at work &#8230;in a crowded area&#8230;or perhaps you were about to stand up in front of a room full of people to give a speech&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And you had thoughts like&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What if they notice I&#8217;m overweight ?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What if they notice my skin\u00a0 is sagging?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What if they think I talk funny?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What if they _____________?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Whatever it was in your situation it still left you feeling very concerned about what others think.<\/p>\n<p>Now here&#8217;s the fascinating part of this&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Most people&#8230;even those who you&#8217;re worried about what they think of you&#8230;most of the time are so busy with what others think about them&#8230;that they&#8217;re actually not thinking about you at all.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, there may be some here and there who don&#8217;t fit this mold.<\/p>\n<p>Yet&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The overwhelming majority of people are so concerned about what&#8217;s going on in their lives that they&#8217;re not even remotely thinking about how you look, sound, or come off.<\/p>\n<p>And even those that do&#8230;they forget about it and get back\u00a0 on with their own lives.<\/p>\n<p>Why am I bringing this up?<\/p>\n<p>Because the next time you have false evidence appearing real&#8230;FEAR&#8230;remember what I just said a moment ago.<\/p>\n<p>As a result&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You would have taken the first step to taking your privates public&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Which leads to the next part.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Human beings only<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>After having consulted and coached hundreds of clients that have come through my Breakthrough to Achieve program I still get a shocking response whenever this is brought up&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Anything anyone says about you is true. However, it may not be in the same exact form&#8230;but it&#8217;s still true.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Most people have a tough time realizing this at first.<\/p>\n<p>Why?<\/p>\n<p>Because we as humans have been taught to adopt certain traits&#8230;usually the positive ones&#8230;while disowning the so called &#8220;negative&#8221; ones.<\/p>\n<p>And this results\u00a0 in a one sided, pseudo, fantasy persona of who you are. In other words it&#8217;s not being authentic.<\/p>\n<p>Remember&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>All humans have every human trait&#8230; to include those that are the most sacred and most profane. If a trait&#8230;negative or positive&#8230;didn&#8217;t serve a purpose it wouldn&#8217;t exist.<\/p>\n<p>And the reason I&#8217;m bringing this up goes back to what I said about being on 24 hour TV&#8230;along with worrying about what others think about you.<\/p>\n<p>It comes down to this&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>When you know with certainty that you have every trait&#8230;the so called &#8220;positive&#8221; and &#8220;negative&#8221; ones&#8230;you won&#8217;t worry about what other people say or might even be thinking regarding you&#8230;because it&#8217;s true anyway.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s just a matter of seeing how it serves your life.<\/p>\n<p>And when you do&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll be able to love and appreciate yourself.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s interesting&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>How many times have you heard someone&#8230;especially the personal development and self help gurus speak about being able to &#8220;love yourself&#8221;&#8230;yet you never hear them bring in the so called &#8220;negative&#8221; parts of themselves along with the positive?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Because the only way you&#8217;re able to love yourself is to be thankful and appreciate all the parts of who you are.<\/p>\n<p>Now what you&#8217;ll see most people talk about here is the idea of acceptance&#8230;and accepting yourself (and others) for who you (and they) are.<\/p>\n<p>This is not about acceptance.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re not here to &#8220;accept&#8221; yourself or others&#8230;because this implies something is still out of order.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Acceptance is an illusion that I&#8217;ve convinced myself that something is right or good. It&#8217;s a one way self righteous judgment and is often a resistance to loving someone or something.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Remember&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You are here to love&#8230;yourself and others.<\/p>\n<p>And the way you do is by seeing both sides&#8230;not accepting one or the other.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Tuning in or out<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Obviously when it comes to taking your privates public there is a limit so to speak.<\/p>\n<p>What I mean is&#8230;you don&#8217;t want to go around announcing to the world everything about yourself, your family, and those you care about&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Because after all there is a trust factor involved&#8230;especially when dealing with other people.<\/p>\n<p>Plus&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The idea of going around and telling everyone about yourself&#8230;even if it doesn&#8217;t bother you in revealing everything about yourself is not the wisest way to be humble and present.<\/p>\n<p>What&#8217;s important here is that you&#8217;re aware and prepared for moments that come up in your life&#8230;that at first may have you feeling uneasy&#8230;and then being able to not let them (or others) bother you in what they said or think about you.<\/p>\n<p>Because when you&#8217;re not worried about what others think&#8230;you&#8217;ll be focused and present.<\/p>\n<p>Which in turn allows you to bring out your inner brilliance&#8230;and to shine.<\/p>\n<p>It allows you to tune in and be present while tuning out the distractions.<\/p>\n<p>It allows you to be in control of your life versus having others control your life.<\/p>\n<p>And it allows you to get in touch with the magnificence of who you are&#8230;what you&#8217;re made of&#8230;and what you&#8217;re here to be, do, and have.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve said this many times&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You never have to get rid of who you are to appreciate and love yourself.<\/p>\n<p>And&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You never have to get rid of any of yourself to be appreciated and loved for who you are.<br \/>\n.<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s a matter of embracing and seeing yourself in a way that brings tremendous amounts of value to the world through the uniqueness of who you are.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At times it can involve forbidden taboos. To others it&#8217;s no big deal\u00a0 at any time. And then you have the people who see it both ways depending on the situation. Now let&#8217;s consider what happens when you bring something that magnifies it all&#8230;such as a TV. Well not just any ordinary TV. Picture this&#8230;&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":556,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-767","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Often Are You Taking Your Privates Public? - Because This Is Your Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Often Are You Taking Your Privates Public? - Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"At times it can involve forbidden taboos. To others it&#8217;s no big deal\u00a0 at any time. 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