{"id":638,"date":"2017-07-16T13:12:09","date_gmt":"2017-07-16T13:12:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/?p=638"},"modified":"2017-07-16T13:12:09","modified_gmt":"2017-07-16T13:12:09","slug":"feeling-good-dangerous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2017\/07\/feeling-good-dangerous.html","title":{"rendered":"Is Feeling Good Dangerous?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When you walk into an Italian restaurant and see a man making pizzas&#8230;what thoughts are going through your mind?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Make me a good pizza.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;He&#8217;s Italian.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;He&#8217;s just a worker here.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Or perhaps&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What does he know&#8230;he only works in an Italian restaurant.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I used to think this way too&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Until I started working in these restaurants right out of high school and then while going to college.<\/p>\n<p>And it was in one of these Italian restaurants&#8230;while living in Coral Springs Florida back in 1989&#8230;that I heard arguably the most profound words of wisdom from anyone in my life.<\/p>\n<p>My then &#8220;boss&#8221; said to me one day, &#8220;it&#8217;s nice to be nice&#8230;but it&#8217;s not nice to be too nice.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I immediate &#8220;got it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>What I didn&#8217;t immediately &#8220;get&#8221; was how this could apply in other ways throughout a person&#8217;s life.<\/p>\n<p>So life for me went on.<\/p>\n<p>However his words of wisdom has always&#8212;to this day&#8212;stuck with me.<\/p>\n<p>And then while going through my typical daily &#8220;brainstorming session&#8221; a few years ago&#8230;I realized how this pizza man&#8217;s &#8220;little quote&#8221; can and does make a difference in every human being&#8217;s life&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Except in this case it has to do with &#8220;feeling good.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And with this came a revelation&#8230;and a question:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s good to feel good&#8230;but is it not good to feel &#8220;too good?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This also brought to mind the thought:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Is feeling good dangerous?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Dr. Feelgood<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What happens when you go to the doctor? It usually has to do with relieving yourself from some type of physical&#8212;possibly even psychological and emotional&#8212;pain.<\/p>\n<p>And how is this usually done?<\/p>\n<p>By being prescribed some type of pharmaceutical drug&#8230;it can even be an over the counter remedy.<\/p>\n<p>Now why would you want to do this?<\/p>\n<p>Because obviously you want to feel better&#8230;you want to feel good.<\/p>\n<p>And certainly this is important&#8230;to you&#8230;to me&#8230;to just about everyone.<\/p>\n<p>However&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>There are times when this is not a good thing to do&#8230;because it can and frequently does result in getting &#8220;hooked&#8221; on the pharmaceutical drug or remedy&#8230;that is designed to help.<\/p>\n<p>And we all know what happens as a result of this.<\/p>\n<p>As a matter of fact&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>This is also true when it comes to &#8220;feeling good&#8221;&#8230;especially always trying to feel good.<\/p>\n<p>Now whether this &#8220;feeling good high&#8221; comes from trying to live in sustainable states of happiness, joy, or bliss&#8230;the same is true.<\/p>\n<p>And this goes back to the pizza man inspired quote I mentioned earlier which now goes like this&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s good to feel good&#8230;but it&#8217;s not good to feel too good.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>With this being obvious there&#8217;s still a majority of the people who will ignore it.<\/p>\n<p>Why?<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. The Fantasy Network<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When a doctor prescribes some type of drug that makes you feel better&#8212;even when you know the risks involved&#8212;you&#8217;ll have a high probability of listening to him (or her) anyway.<\/p>\n<p>The reason&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Because he (or she) is a perceived authority figure.<\/p>\n<p>And even if your health got worse from the drug he\/she prescribed to you, most likely you wouldn&#8217;t hold him\/her responsible&#8230;you&#8217;d most likely blame yourself in some way.<\/p>\n<p>What&#8217;s even stranger than this?<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;d have a high probability of &#8220;going back for more&#8221; of that drug&#8230;or possibly another&#8230;which makes you &#8220;feel good.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And within here lies why most people will ignore the pizza man inspired wisdom of&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s good to feel good&#8230;but it&#8217;s not good to feel too good.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And this is certainly right at the center of the personal development and self help gurus that are promoting the idea of always feeling good.<\/p>\n<p>Except here the questions is&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Are they living that way?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Is the person who&#8217;s promoting that you can live a &#8220;happy&#8221;, &#8220;joyful&#8221;, and &#8220;blissful&#8221; life&#8230; are they actually living that way?<\/p>\n<p>Or&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Are they just &#8220;selling these temporary feel good drugs&#8221; because they know these fantasies sell?<\/p>\n<p>Now of course I&#8217;m not saying to not feel good&#8230;because it is important&#8230;and certainly healthy.<\/p>\n<p>What I am saying is&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>If you get into the habit of trying to feel &#8220;too good&#8221;&#8230;or trying to &#8220;feel good&#8221; all the time&#8230;it can and does lead to &#8220;addiction&#8221; in very much the same way as the typical addictions&#8230;drugs, sex, food&#8230;it will have you coming back for more.<\/p>\n<p>Except in the case of &#8220;feeling good&#8221;&#8230;it will involve trying to live a happy, joyful, blissful life.<\/p>\n<p>Look in your own life.<\/p>\n<p>Have you been able to live in a state of happiness, joy, and bliss all the time&#8230;of course not.<\/p>\n<p>Yet&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>These fantasies are being sold to people all the time.<\/p>\n<p>And why does it work so well?<\/p>\n<p>Because humans in general are fantasy driven&#8230;meaning that they try to seek the one sidedness of &#8220;feeling good&#8221;&#8230;in the form of trying to live happy, joyful, and blissful lives.<\/p>\n<p>And when you take a look in your own life you&#8217;ll see this to be unrealistic&#8230;even though the person &#8220;selling it&#8221; appears to be living this unrealistic life.<\/p>\n<p>The bottom line is&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You have two sides to your nature&#8230;the positive and negative&#8230;they both serve you and humanity&#8230;and in line with the divine perfection of how the Universe works on your behalf.<\/p>\n<p>This now leads to your actual purpose&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Falling in&#8230; or feeling&#8230;love<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Feeling good, like everything else in the Universe is two sided. In other words, feeling good at times can be a &#8220;positive&#8221; force in your life&#8230;at times a &#8220;negative.&#8221; Together they make up your purpose in life&#8230; Love.<\/p>\n<p>And when I speak of love, it&#8217;s not in the romantic sense&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s being able to see both sides of life as being purposeful.<\/p>\n<p>This is why there&#8217;s no such thing as &#8220;falling in love.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Instead&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You can only &#8220;feel love.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And feeling love is&#8230;you guessed it&#8230;seeing life in a two sided way&#8230;knowing that every person and situation has an equal amount of happiness and sadness, joy and sorrow, positive and negative.<\/p>\n<p>It may not seem that way in your perception&#8230;but in truth it&#8217;s balanced equally.<\/p>\n<p>And this goes back to &#8220;feeling good&#8221;&#8230;except here it&#8217;s doing so while maintaining a &#8220;healthy balance&#8221; along the way.<\/p>\n<p>And one of the best ways to get started&#8212;like I mentioned a moment ago&#8212; is to know that you&#8217;re a two sided person living in a two sided world. You have moments of happy and sad, joy and sorrow, peace and war&#8230;and this is healthy.<\/p>\n<p>While maintaining this&#8221;healthy balance&#8221; of feeling good&#8230;you won&#8217;t get too &#8220;up&#8221; when things go your way&#8230;you won&#8217;t get too &#8220;down&#8221; when things don&#8217;t go your way.<\/p>\n<p>Certainly&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll have moments when you may feel better than others&#8230;just like you&#8217;ll have moments when you&#8217;ll feel &#8220;worse&#8221; than others.<\/p>\n<p>However&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>By maintaining this &#8220;healthy balance&#8221; of feeling good you won&#8217;t get caught up in the roller coaster of emotions that leads you to coming back for more of the &#8220;feel good drug&#8221; so to speak.<\/p>\n<p>Remember&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>When you realize how the very thing you&#8217;re trying to get away from (sadness, sorrow, and challenge)&#8230;how these serve your life&#8230;you won&#8217;t get caught up in the &#8220;feel good&#8221; mania that is actually the source of most people&#8217;s suffering.<\/p>\n<p>The result&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll have a newfound insight into the magnificence and brilliance of who you are&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Even those things you felt you never had within you.<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;re there.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s always been there.<\/p>\n<p>And it&#8217;s there for you to demonstrate the tremendous amount of value you contribute to the world through the uniqueness of who you are.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you walk into an Italian restaurant and see a man making pizzas&#8230;what thoughts are going through your mind? &#8220;Make me a good pizza.&#8221; &#8220;He&#8217;s Italian.&#8221; &#8220;He&#8217;s just a worker here.&#8221; Or perhaps&#8230; &#8220;What does he know&#8230;he only works in an Italian restaurant.&#8221; I used to think this way too&#8230; Until I started working in&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":556,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-638","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Is Feeling Good Dangerous? - Because This Is Your Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is Feeling Good Dangerous? - Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When you walk into an Italian restaurant and see a man making pizzas&#8230;what thoughts are going through your mind? &#8220;Make me a good pizza.&#8221; &#8220;He&#8217;s Italian.&#8221; &#8220;He&#8217;s just a worker here.&#8221; Or perhaps&#8230; &#8220;What does he know&#8230;he only works in an Italian restaurant.&#8221; I used to think this way too&#8230; Until I started working in&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2017\/07\/feeling-good-dangerous.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-07-16T13:12:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"cweiner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Is Feeling Good Dangerous? - Because This Is Your Life","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Is Feeling Good Dangerous? - Because This Is Your Life","og_description":"When you walk into an Italian restaurant and see a man making pizzas&#8230;what thoughts are going through your mind? &#8220;Make me a good pizza.&#8221; &#8220;He&#8217;s Italian.&#8221; &#8220;He&#8217;s just a worker here.&#8221; Or perhaps&#8230; &#8220;What does he know&#8230;he only works in an Italian restaurant.&#8221; I used to think this way too&#8230; Until I started working in&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2017\/07\/feeling-good-dangerous.html","og_site_name":"Because This Is Your Life","article_published_time":"2017-07-16T13:12:09+00:00","author":"cweiner","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2017\/07\/feeling-good-dangerous.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2017\/07\/feeling-good-dangerous.html","name":"Is Feeling Good Dangerous? - Because This Is Your Life","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/#website"},"datePublished":"2017-07-16T13:12:09+00:00","dateModified":"2017-07-16T13:12:09+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/#\/schema\/person\/dc068d817ad3b80d6dd5dd37f7fcd8ea"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2017\/07\/feeling-good-dangerous.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2017\/07\/feeling-good-dangerous.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2017\/07\/feeling-good-dangerous.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Is Feeling Good Dangerous?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/","name":"Because This Is Your Life","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Chaney Weiner","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/#\/schema\/person\/dc068d817ad3b80d6dd5dd37f7fcd8ea","name":"cweiner","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/author\/cweiner"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/638","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/556"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=638"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/638\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":639,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/638\/revisions\/639"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=638"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=638"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=638"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}