{"id":590,"date":"2017-03-05T21:58:10","date_gmt":"2017-03-05T21:58:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/?p=590"},"modified":"2017-03-05T21:58:10","modified_gmt":"2017-03-05T21:58:10","slug":"know-believe-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2017\/03\/know-believe-2.html","title":{"rendered":"How Do You Know Who To Believe?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You see it with friends.<\/p>\n<p>You see it with family.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s also there with your co workers.<\/p>\n<p>You most certainly see it with personal development and self help &#8220;gurus.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s on TV&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>In your neighborhood&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Plus&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You see it all the time in the people you admire.<\/p>\n<p>And strange as it seems&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You have it as well.<\/p>\n<p>The most surprising part of all&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s the thing to look for that can work for you and turn your life around&#8230;or &#8220;blow up&#8221; in your face and turn your world upside down.<\/p>\n<p>And it involves believing people.<\/p>\n<p>Because no matter how you look at it, you&#8217;re in situations on a daily basis throughout your life that involve coming across people where you&#8217;re faced with whether to believe them or not.<\/p>\n<p>So how can you tell?<\/p>\n<p>How do you know who to believe?<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Smiles, energy, and then what<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Like it or not, the fact is that we all live in a world where someone is trying to sell something to someone else. And I don&#8217;t just mean when it comes to someone that wants you to give them money for something.<\/p>\n<p>When you want to get your spouse or children to listen to you&#8230;and to do what you want..you&#8217;re in a selling situation.<\/p>\n<p>When you ask your boss at work for the day off&#8230;you&#8217;re in a selling situation.<\/p>\n<p>And even when you get yourself to do something you may not want to do&#8230;you&#8217;re in a selling situation to yourself.<\/p>\n<p>You get the idea.<\/p>\n<p>Now when it comes to other people trying to get you to do something&#8230;buy something&#8230;and to do what they want&#8230;of course they&#8217;ll use certain tactics to do so&#8230;especially during your first interaction with them.<\/p>\n<p>And this is where that &#8220;it&#8221; I mentioned earlier comes into play&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The &#8220;smiles&#8221; and &#8220;energy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Think about it&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>How many times did you (and I have as well) like someone and were compelled to listen to them more because you liked their smile and their &#8220;energy?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And whether you&#8217;re aware of it&#8230;or want to openly admit it&#8230;the bottom line is that their &#8220;smile&#8221; and &#8220;energy&#8221; has a high probability of working.<\/p>\n<p>Because after all this is a common occurrence with people you see on TV&#8230;with personal development and self help &#8220;gurus&#8221;&#8230;potential relationship partners&#8230;and anyone who tries to get you to buy from them.<\/p>\n<p>And this is all cool&#8230;understandable&#8230;and certainly important because it shows (at least on the outside) that someone is sincere.<\/p>\n<p>However&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>This is only a small piece of the picture and there is another side to it.<\/p>\n<p>And that other side is&#8230;&#8221;then what?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>What I mean here is&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Just because someone puts up a good smile and has what seems like &#8220;great energy&#8221; does that mean they are to be believed?<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes &#8220;yes&#8221; and many times &#8220;no.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>So what else can you go by besides their smile and energy?<\/p>\n<p>Enter &#8220;then what&#8221; and the pseudotruisms.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Pseudo truisms<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As you already know there are two sides to every person, situation, and event&#8230;and the same is true for someone&#8217;s smile and energy.<\/p>\n<p>Fact is&#8230;in order to know that you can believe someone you need something else to look for.<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s actually two things here&#8230;.it&#8217;s the &#8220;then what&#8221; and pseudo truisms.<\/p>\n<p>And what I mean here is&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>One, is the person &#8220;walking their talk?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And two, are they trying to sell you a pseudo truisms&#8230;also known as a false construct&#8230;which typically involves an unrealistic fantasy.<\/p>\n<p>For example&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s take a personal development and self help guru that&#8217;s selling you on the idea that you can live a positive and happy life.<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;ll smile and give off great energy and will be believed&#8230;right?<\/p>\n<p>However, are they living that positive and happy life? Of course not.<\/p>\n<p>Because they&#8230;just like you and I&#8230;experience both sides of life&#8230;the happy and sad moments&#8230;the pleasures and pains&#8230;the supports and challenges.<\/p>\n<p>Therefore&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The truth here is&#8230;they&#8217;re not walking their talk&#8230;but their smile and energy may have you think otherwise.<\/p>\n<p>And when you look at any other situation when someone is trying to sell you something you&#8217;ll see this in some way.<\/p>\n<p>So just know that no matter who it is and whatever &#8220;selling&#8221; situation is involved&#8230;that there&#8217;s always those both sides.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, the smile and great energy is appealing and in many cases is seductive.<\/p>\n<p>Yet&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s also quite often used to mask the &#8220;sellers&#8221; deficiencies in what they&#8217;re talking about and trying to sell you.<\/p>\n<p>Now what this comes down to is&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>What can you do so you know who you can believe?<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Your world of make beliefs<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Answering this question comes down to something I say repeatedly&#8230;and mention every week on my radio show&#8230;to even include the other hundreds of radio shows I&#8217;ve been on&#8230;and it&#8217;s this:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s one thing to listen to and read what I&#8217;m saying&#8230;yet it&#8217;s another thing to take what you hear me speak about into your own life and have it work for you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In other words&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t take my word for it&#8230;see for yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Because the only way you can know for sure if what I&#8217;m saying (and this goes for what anybody else is saying and &#8220;promising&#8221;) is true and to be believed&#8230;is for you to find out for yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Now of course there&#8217;s another part of this that is needed.<\/p>\n<p>And it involves what I&#8217;m calling &#8220;your world of make beliefs.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Meaning&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>What you believe in&#8230;what it is that&#8217;s most important to you&#8230;that inspires you&#8230;that you &#8220;love&#8221; doing&#8230;are &#8220;inspired&#8221; to be doing&#8230;will involve embracing both sides.<\/p>\n<p>This goes back to what I said earlier.<\/p>\n<p>And also ties in with &#8220;how to know who you can believe.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Because it all comes down to your beliefs&#8230;in who you are&#8230;what you want to do&#8230;what you&#8217;re willing to go through to achieve it&#8230;and who you&#8217;ll believe and not believe along the way.<\/p>\n<p>Remember&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll come across people in your life that will have your best interests at heart&#8230;and you&#8217;ll come across people who won&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>And when you&#8217;re clear on who you are and what you&#8217;d love to be, do, and have&#8230;while embracing the &#8220;positive&#8221; and so called &#8220;negative&#8221;&#8230;even if you come across people that may have &#8220;fooled&#8221; you with their &#8220;smile&#8221; and &#8220;energy&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Just know that these people were put in your life as feedback to get you to be true to who you are.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, they&#8217;ll be times when you&#8217;ll believe someone and you&#8217;ll feel they &#8220;lied&#8221; to you&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And they&#8217;ll be other times when you believed someone and what was promised they delivered on.<\/p>\n<p>However&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>In both cases it still depends on you&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>It depends on you being aware of your uniqueness&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>It depends on you being true to yourself&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Because when you do&#8230;and you realize how valuable and important of a person you are in this world&#8230;you see the blessings in every crisis&#8230;along with the crisis in every blessing.<\/p>\n<p>These are gifts that get you to realize how needed you are in the world&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>By just being the magnificent you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You see it with friends. You see it with family. It&#8217;s also there with your co workers. You most certainly see it with personal development and self help &#8220;gurus.&#8221; It&#8217;s on TV&#8230; In your neighborhood&#8230; Plus&#8230; You see it all the time in the people you admire. And strange as it seems&#8230; You have it&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":556,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Do You Know Who To Believe? - Because This Is Your Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Do You Know Who To Believe? - Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You see it with friends. You see it with family. It&#8217;s also there with your co workers. You most certainly see it with personal development and self help &#8220;gurus.&#8221; It&#8217;s on TV&#8230; In your neighborhood&#8230; Plus&#8230; You see it all the time in the people you admire. And strange as it seems&#8230; You have it&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2017\/03\/know-believe-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-03-05T21:58:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"cweiner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How Do You Know Who To Believe? - Because This Is Your Life","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How Do You Know Who To Believe? - Because This Is Your Life","og_description":"You see it with friends. You see it with family. It&#8217;s also there with your co workers. You most certainly see it with personal development and self help &#8220;gurus.&#8221; It&#8217;s on TV&#8230; In your neighborhood&#8230; Plus&#8230; You see it all the time in the people you admire. 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