{"id":498,"date":"2016-06-20T15:39:07","date_gmt":"2016-06-20T15:39:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/?p=498"},"modified":"2016-06-20T15:39:21","modified_gmt":"2016-06-20T15:39:21","slug":"please-tell-please-dont-tell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2016\/06\/please-tell-please-dont-tell.html","title":{"rendered":"“Please Tell Me…Please Don’t Tell Me”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n
It\u2019s a situation you\u2019re all too familiar with.<\/p>\n

It occurs consistently throughout your life\u2026usually every day in some way.<\/p>\n

And the weird part\u2026<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve been on \u201cboth sides of the fence\u201d so to speak\u2026and quite often at the same moment.<\/p>\n

What I\u2019m referring to are those situations you find yourself in when you get \u201cput on the spot.\u201d<\/p>\n

More specifically\u2026<\/p>\n

When someone asks to give you their opinion\u2026such as when someone says, \u201cWell how do I look today?\u201d<\/p>\n

And like I said a minute ago it works the other way as well\u2026such as when you ask someone to give you their opinion\u2026along with when someone comes right out (voluntarily) and tells you what you want to hear because they think it will hurt your feelings if they said what was really on their mind.<\/p>\n

In any case…<\/p>\n

It has to do with the same thing\u2026being told the truth.<\/p>\n

And with it comes what I call the \u201cTruth Paradox\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n

Because it\u2019s this Truth Paradox that quite often leaves you thinking, \u201cYes please tell me\u201d and at the same time leaves you thinking, \u201cPlease don\u2019t tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n

No matter how you look at it, the question you\u2019re left with is, \u201cDo I really want to hear the truth from someone or not?\u201d<\/p>\n

You know the saying, \u201cSometimes the truth hurts\u201d\u2026but does it really?<\/p>\n

This leads back to what I just mentioned\u2026<\/p>\n

Do you really want to hear the truth form someone or not?<\/p>\n

And\u2026<\/p>\n

When someone asks you for their opinion\u2026are you upfront and tell them the truth?<\/p>\n

The reality of it all is\u2026people don\u2019t want to hear the truth and when they\u2019re on the other end of it don\u2019t tell the truth because they don\u2019t want to be seen as a so called \u201cnegative\u201d or \u201cbad\u201d person.<\/p>\n

Of course there are many exceptions to this\u2026<\/p>\n

But take a look in your life and the different situations you\u2019re in. What you\u2019ll commonly see are people who want to \u201csave face\u201d and \u201ckeep the peace\u201d but at the same time aren\u2019t being upfront and truthful about it.<\/p>\n

And let me say this\u2026<\/p>\n

Yes, there will be times when it can be a good idea to not come right out with it and be upfront\u2026such as in different types of social settings.<\/p>\n

When these moments come up, the wisest thing to do is to make mental note of them and possibly let those people know the truth at some point.<\/p>\n

Now I can\u2019t tell you what these moments are, when they\u2019ll come up, and exactly how to go about them because they\u2019re different for each person.<\/p>\n

But what I am saying is that outside of these types of situations it is a wise idea to just tell people the truth\u2026<\/p>\n

And when you\u2019re on the other end of it\u2026to let people tell you the truth when it\u2019s something about you.<\/p>\n

The strange part about what I just said is\u2026even when you tell someone to be \u201cstraight up\u201d with you, you\u2019ll still get some people who won\u2019t. The reason is because some people just don\u2019t want to feel \u201cbad\u201d or so called \u201cnegative.\u201d<\/p>\n

In these situations the wisest thing to do is to \u201ctrust your gut\u201d and take into consideration the person and situation you\u2019re dealing with.<\/p>\n

When it\u2019s the other way around\u2026and you\u2019re in that moment when you have the feeling of \u201cPlease tell me, please don\u2019t tell me\u201d\u2026it\u2019s wise to have them tell you.<\/p>\n

Remember\u2026<\/p>\n

No matter what you do you\u2019ll have people liking and disliking you, praising and criticizing you, supporting and challenging you, being nice and mean along with kind and cruel to you\u2026equally.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no escaping this.<\/p>\n

Therefore\u2026<\/p>\n

You may as well have \u201cpeople tell you\u201d rather than wondering and feeling uncertain.<\/p>\n

Because the \u201cgift\u201d or as I like to say \u201cblessings\u201d that comes out of being told is that it\u2019ll help you understand more of who you are\u2026<\/p>\n

And sometimes it takes other people telling you what may seem like the \u201charsh truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yet, when you really think about it\u2026instead of it seeming harsh at first\u2026it\u2019s one of the best ways to reveal your authenticity.<\/p>\n

Now you may have the urge to get defensive or feel that what someone may say about you is \u201cwrong\u201d\u2026and at times the person may very well be because they don\u2019t have all the necessary facts and details.<\/p>\n

But even if this is the case, by having people be straight up with you it will at least \u201ctest\u201d your patience\u2026and this is something that comes in handy somewhere down the road.<\/p>\n

As for all of this getting you to understand more of who you are\u2026it creates an \u201cawareness thing\u201d as I like to call it.<\/p>\n

This is an awareness of you as a person. It gets you to see the two sides that make up the magnificence and brilliance of who you are, what you\u2019re made of, and why you\u2019re here.<\/p>\n

And interestingly it has very much to do with appreciating others and what they say about you\u2026even if you may not like it at first.<\/p>\n

So, make it a point today (and every day) to appreciate others\u2026<\/p>\n

Because when you appreciate others for who they are (and the things they say about you), you turn into the person that appreciates yourself for who you are.<\/p>\n

 <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s a situation you\u2019re all too familiar with. It occurs consistently throughout your life\u2026usually every day in some way. And the weird part\u2026 You\u2019ve been on \u201cboth sides of the fence\u201d so to speak\u2026and quite often at the same moment. What I\u2019m referring to are those situations you find yourself in when you get \u201cput…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":556,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-498","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n"Please Tell Me...Please Don't Tell Me" - Because This Is Your Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2016\/06\/please-tell-please-dont-tell.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\""Please Tell Me...Please Don't Tell Me" - Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s a situation you\u2019re all too familiar with. It occurs consistently throughout your life\u2026usually every day in some way. And the weird part\u2026 You\u2019ve been on \u201cboth sides of the fence\u201d so to speak\u2026and quite often at the same moment. What I\u2019m referring to are those situations you find yourself in when you get \u201cput…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2016\/06\/please-tell-please-dont-tell.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-06-20T15:39:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-06-20T15:39:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"cweiner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"\"Please Tell Me...Please Don't Tell Me\" - Because This Is Your Life","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2016\/06\/please-tell-please-dont-tell.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"\"Please Tell Me...Please Don't Tell Me\" - Because This Is Your Life","og_description":"It\u2019s a situation you\u2019re all too familiar with. It occurs consistently throughout your life\u2026usually every day in some way. And the weird part\u2026 You\u2019ve been on \u201cboth sides of the fence\u201d so to speak\u2026and quite often at the same moment. 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