{"id":31,"date":"2013-10-07T01:51:38","date_gmt":"2013-10-07T01:51:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/becausethisisyourlife\/?p=31"},"modified":"2013-10-07T01:52:14","modified_gmt":"2013-10-07T01:52:14","slug":"do-you-wish-that-your-life-turned-out-differently","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2013\/10\/do-you-wish-that-your-life-turned-out-differently.html","title":{"rendered":"Do You Wish That Your Life Turned Out Differently?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!--[if gte mso 9]&gt;--><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">There was once a man who was loved by all in his town.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">This same man also had a little problem. Even though he was loved in his town, especially by children, he had a tendency to avoid working.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And this led to his wife nagging him to the point that one day he decided to go for a walk with his dog. They walked up a mountain.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">He then met some men who knew his name. As a result he starts drinking some of their liquor and falls asleep.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">A few hours later he wakes up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">But something seemed out of place.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">His dog was gone. And then when he went back into town he couldn&#8217;t recognize anyone. He found out his wife died. He also found out that someone else has the same name as he does.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Who is this man and what happened?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">His name is Rip Van Winkle. What happened? He fell asleep, and even though he woke up after what seemed like a few hours&#8230;20 yrs. had passed!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And the other person with his same name&#8230;was his now grown up son.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Now of course this is a fictional story that was written in 1819.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">But there&#8217;s a good reason why I&#8217;m bringing it up. Actually a few reasons.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">The first has to do with, &#8220;Do you regret what you&#8217;ve done or not done in your life? And this leads to the question&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">&#8220;Do you wish that your life turned out differently?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\"><strong>1. Under the oath of life-<\/strong> I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ve heard that we&#8217;re all born with a clean slate in life. You could also say that this means we&#8217;re born with an innocence and it&#8217;s up to us to create the type of life we want. In many ways this is true.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Here&#8217;s something that&#8217;s certainly true&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">It is your birthright to do what you love. Not only that but this is what you &#8220;signed up&#8221; for from the moment you take your first breath in life until your last and beyond.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">But for some reason, at some point life seems to go the opposite of the way you want and along with that the regret of what you &#8220;should have&#8221; and &#8220;shouldn&#8217;t have&#8221; done piles up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And while this is going on you&#8217;ll go about your life. The job you despise. The many nights of not being able to sleep because of endless mind chatter that has a vice grip on your life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And over time it feels like you&#8217;re living your life in a straight jacket.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">As a result the things you don&#8217;t want to have happen shows up more frequently in your life than you&#8217;d like. Then comes the stress, depression, and all those other negative emotions we dread like the plague.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">We&#8217;ve all been there. I&#8217;ve been there in many ways as well.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And in almost every case there was the regret of, &#8220;If I had done or not done things differently my life would be better&#8230;I&#8217;d be happier.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">This is not what you signed up for in life. You didn&#8217;t sign up for living your life according to &#8220;should&#8217;s&#8221; and &#8220;should not&#8217;s.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">When you came into this world, whether you&#8217;re aware of it or not, you are under the oath of life. What that means centers around the question&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">&#8220;What am I here to be, do, and have in my life?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">This is what you signed up for when you came into this world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And unless you start getting clear on this, you&#8217;ll be the non fictional Rip Van Winkle and wake up after 20 years and realize that life has passed you by.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Now I know getting clear on this sounds like a great idea and it is. But it&#8217;s one thing to read it here and another when you&#8217;re out and about in your life. Because it&#8217;s in your real life situations where those feelings of regret of what you did and didn&#8217;t do come up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\"><strong>2. Paradise city-<\/strong> There&#8217;s no doubt that having regrets of what you did or didn&#8217;t do can and does run your life. So what can be done about this? This starts by asking (and taking the time to answer) what I consider to be one of the most profound questions you&#8217;ll ever ask&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">&#8220;If I could live my life all over again and know that everything would happen the exact same way right up to the current time, would I go through it all over again and not change a thing?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">At first you&#8217;ll most likely want to change a thing or two, possibly even everything.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">But when you start connecting the dots in your own life you&#8217;ll see something completely different. You&#8217;ll see that if you changed just one thing, that it would create a &#8220;ripple effect&#8221; in the other areas of your life that you would not want to have happen.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">For example&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">In my own life, if I hadn&#8217;t gotten into the situation that ended up ultimately costing me over $100,000 I wouldn&#8217;t be here today telling you about it. My life would have taken a completely different path&#8230;and one I wouldn&#8217;t have wanted.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Other examples of this you&#8217;ll see in movies like Sliding Doors, Back to the Future, and Running Against Time. In every case it centers around someone thinking that if they were to change one event that didn&#8217;t have the outcome they originally wanted that it would make things better, make life the way they wanted it to be&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And in every case when trying to do this, it created an undesirable ripple effect in the other areas of their lives.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">So, the wisest thing you can do is to look at all the events in your life and know that they&#8217;re two sided&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">To know that every situation has an equal amount of benefits and drawbacks. An equal amount of happiness and sadness. An equal amount of giving and taking. An equal amount of peace and war. An equal amount of all opposites.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Because trying to live a one sided life is like driving your car with your eyes closed. You&#8217;ll get away with it to a certain point, but at some point the other side will come up, and you&#8217;ll be left with what you don&#8217;t want&#8230;while not knowing why and attributing it to something other than what it really is. This results in repeating the same undesirable patterns over and over again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">So instead of trying to live in paradise city while being a fantasy seeker, it is very wise and healthy to pursue living a fulfilled life&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Because this is the difference between having your life not turn out the way you want versus having it turn out the way you do want&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And most importantly you won&#8217;t wake up after 20 years and ask, &#8220;where did it all go and why did it turn out the way it did?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\"><strong>3. Your brave new world-<\/strong> After Rip Van Winkle realized what happened, he eventually also found out about his now grown up daughter and then moved in with her. Even 20 years later he still resumed the same life of idleness and not working.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Now, what if you realized that your life is passing by? What if you start seeing it&#8217;s been 20 years and nothing has changed?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Well it&#8217;s time to step into your brave new world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And what I mean by this is to first realized that everything up to this point in your life has served you in some way. No matter where you are right now and no matter what&#8217;s happened up to this point, just know that it&#8217;s guiding you on your amazing journey in life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Also realize that it&#8217;s never too late to get started.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Just look at Colonel Sanders. He started KFC when he was 65 yrs. old.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Just look at Sam Walton who was in his 40&#8217;s when he started Walmart.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Just look at Mary Kay Ash who started Mary Kay Cosmetics when she was 45.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">If any of these people had let their past regrets run their lives they would have given up and there would be no KFC, Walmart, or Mary Kay Cosmetics as we know it today&#8230;because someone else would have come along instead.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And that&#8217;s the important point here&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">That you become that person who comes up with the next great idea, the next great product, the next great service that provides tremendous amounts of value to people throughout the world&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And to do so based on what you love doing most&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And to do so based on your uniqueness&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">And to do so where you embrace both sides of life as a fulfillment driven person.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">&#8230;Because this is what paves the way for you to go from where you are now to where you want to be.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">So rather than forgiving yourself and feeling regret over what you&#8217;ve done or not done, it is much wiser to say&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">&#8220;Thank you for giving me this experience because it has helped me grow and allowed me to help others do the same.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Always remember&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">You never have to get rid of any of yourself or any part of your life to truly appreciate how magnificent and special of a person you are.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';color: black\">Thank you for being you.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There was once a man who was loved by all in his town. This same man also had a little problem. Even though he was loved in his town, especially by children, he had a tendency to avoid working. And this led to his wife nagging him to the point that one day he decided&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":556,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Do You Wish That Your Life Turned Out Differently? - Because This Is Your Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2013\/10\/do-you-wish-that-your-life-turned-out-differently.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Do You Wish That Your Life Turned Out Differently? - Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There was once a man who was loved by all in his town. 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And this led to his wife nagging him to the point that one day he decided&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2013\/10\/do-you-wish-that-your-life-turned-out-differently.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-10-07T01:51:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-10-07T01:52:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"cweiner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Do You Wish That Your Life Turned Out Differently? - Because This Is Your Life","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2013\/10\/do-you-wish-that-your-life-turned-out-differently.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Do You Wish That Your Life Turned Out Differently? - Because This Is Your Life","og_description":"There was once a man who was loved by all in his town. 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