{"id":283,"date":"2015-02-15T20:49:20","date_gmt":"2015-02-15T20:49:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/?p=283"},"modified":"2015-02-15T20:49:20","modified_gmt":"2015-02-15T20:49:20","slug":"does-this-apply-to-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2015\/02\/does-this-apply-to-you.html","title":{"rendered":"Does This Apply To You?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There are two words that I know you use throughout your life on a regular basis that you feel is how your life has played out&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Success and failure.<\/p>\n<p>There are two other words that I also know you use, most likely not as much. The difference here is that these other two words define your life much more accurately. I&#8217;ll come back to these in a minute.<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s first take a look at success and failure.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve done this, we&#8217;ve all done this&#8211;and that is label ourselves as either being a success or failure. And many times we&#8217;ll have a tendency to label ourselves as being more of one than the other.<\/p>\n<p>Does this apply to you?<\/p>\n<p>If it does then keep reading because today you&#8217;ll discover something you most likely have not heard before.<\/p>\n<p>Just about everyone has experienced moments of success and failure during their lives. And in some cases much more of one than the other.<\/p>\n<p>There are some people who think their life was nothing but a failure. And they think that everything they did was doomed from the start. Whether it&#8217;s their finances, their relationships, or just how their life has played out in general.<\/p>\n<p>Then you have the people who feel that everything they&#8217;ve done turned out to be successful. That everything they touched turned to gold.<\/p>\n<p>This is at least what you see on the outside.<\/p>\n<p>But guess what?<\/p>\n<p>And here&#8217;s the part that&#8217;s incredibly important.<\/p>\n<p>The second you think you&#8217;re successful, you&#8217;re often on your way down&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And the second you feel you&#8217;re failing, you&#8217;re usually on your way up.<\/p>\n<p>Huh?<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s look at that&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And to start here&#8217;s a very unusual quote by Don Keough, the former president of Coca-Cola who said that the knowledge of failure can lead to success.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the quote&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I have always been afraid of the word success. People, companies, and countries can get into trouble when they start to think they&#8217;re successful. They get arrogant.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>What Keough is basically saying is that it&#8217;s much wiser to come from a poised state of mind where you see yourself as being a success AND failure.<\/p>\n<p>And this falls right in line with the fact that you&#8217;re a two sided person. You may experience moments of perceiving that you&#8217;re more of one side (for example, successful) than the other (failure).<\/p>\n<p>But the fact is that you&#8217;re both and you need both.<\/p>\n<p>And remember that the more you perceive yourself as being or trying to be more of one side, the more you&#8217;ll get the opposite side to come in and try and &#8220;balance you out&#8221; so to speak.<\/p>\n<p>This is what Keough was also implying.<\/p>\n<p>Therefore it is wise to not get too &#8220;up&#8221; when things go your way or too &#8220;down&#8221; when they don&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>With that said let&#8217;s now come back to those other two words I mentioned earlier.<\/p>\n<p>Instead of labeling yourself as a &#8220;success&#8221; or &#8220;failure&#8221; it is much wise to use the words &#8220;fulfillment&#8221; and &#8220;achievement..&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Why?<\/p>\n<p>Because &#8220;fulfillment&#8221; embraces both sides, the success and failure, which you need. This is what helps you become more poised and balanced. By living your life this way you don&#8217;t get into the &#8220;extreme &#8220;ups&#8221; and &#8220;downs&#8221; which over time actually stops you from achieving what you would love to have.<\/p>\n<p>The same is true about &#8220;achievement.&#8221; This embraces both sides as well. Because throughout your life you&#8217;ll achieve both &#8220;success&#8221; and &#8220;failure.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And to paraphrase what Keough said, &#8220;the knowledge of failure can lead to success.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The only way you can do this is to &#8220;achieve&#8221; failure because this paves the way for your success. You need both and they both come in pairs.<\/p>\n<p>This is why labeling yourself and striving for one or the other is futile.<\/p>\n<p>Because it&#8217;s very easy to get &#8220;puffed up&#8221; and &#8220;cocky&#8221; when we become successful. We become distracted, stop doing what we love, and forget what actually got us there. We become ungrateful.<\/p>\n<p>When we perceive ourselves as a failure we get &#8220;down&#8221;, &#8220;beat ourselves up&#8221;, and have a tendency to go back to the basics and do high priority things that get us back on track.<\/p>\n<p>This is also why it&#8217;s unwise to think in terms of &#8220;success&#8221; and &#8220;failure&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>But rather to think in terms of &#8220;fulfillment&#8221; and &#8220;achievement&#8221; because in this way you won&#8217;t get into those emotional mood swings&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And in the process you&#8217;ll be your true authentic self. You&#8217;ll be in a state of gratitude.<\/p>\n<p>The bottom line is this&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>If you have the time to be worried and concerned about success and failure, you&#8217;re distracting yourself from the tremendous amount of value you provide the world.<\/p>\n<p>And certainly from realizing how unique and amazing of a person you are.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, it&#8217;s important to strive for what you&#8217;d love to have in any area of your life and be able to know if you&#8217;ve achieved that.<\/p>\n<p>But rather than getting hung up on whether you succeeded or failed&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>When you realize that you have an equal balance of both, you actually achieve more of that originally perceived &#8220;success&#8221; you wanted all along&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>While at the same time achieved the failure along the way that helped you to live the fulfilled, inspiring, and extraordinary life you wanted all along.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are two words that I know you use throughout your life on a regular basis that you feel is how your life has played out&#8230; Success and failure. There are two other words that I also know you use, most likely not as much. The difference here is that these other two words define&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":556,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Does This Apply To You? - Because This Is Your Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2015\/02\/does-this-apply-to-you.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Does This Apply To You? - Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There are two words that I know you use throughout your life on a regular basis that you feel is how your life has played out&#8230; Success and failure. There are two other words that I also know you use, most likely not as much. The difference here is that these other two words define&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2015\/02\/does-this-apply-to-you.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-02-15T20:49:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"cweiner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Does This Apply To You? - Because This Is Your Life","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2015\/02\/does-this-apply-to-you.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Does This Apply To You? - Because This Is Your Life","og_description":"There are two words that I know you use throughout your life on a regular basis that you feel is how your life has played out&#8230; Success and failure. 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