{"id":251,"date":"2014-11-23T17:47:40","date_gmt":"2014-11-23T17:47:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/?p=251"},"modified":"2014-11-23T17:47:40","modified_gmt":"2014-11-23T17:47:40","slug":"how-to-realize-your-defining-moment-and-have-a-breakthrough-in-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2014\/11\/how-to-realize-your-defining-moment-and-have-a-breakthrough-in-your-life.html","title":{"rendered":"How To Realize Your Defining Moment And Have A Breakthrough In Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>They laughed at you.<\/p>\n<p>They ignored you.<\/p>\n<p>In some cases they even bullied you.<\/p>\n<p>Then one of two things happen&#8230;.possibly even both.<\/p>\n<p>Yet&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The strangest part of all is that at first you may not even be aware of it.<\/p>\n<p>And you have a high probability of it coming from an unlikely source&#8230;out of the blue&#8230;even to the point where you may doubt it in the beginning.<\/p>\n<p>Then when this happens&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;ll start noticing you.<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;ll start listening to you.<\/p>\n<p>And they&#8217;ll respect you.<\/p>\n<p>What am I talking about?<\/p>\n<p>Realizing your defining moment and having a breakthrough in your life.<\/p>\n<p>At first this may seem like a random event&#8230;&#8221;luck&#8221;&#8230;being in the right place at the right time&#8230;and something you may &#8220;think&#8221; you have no control over.<\/p>\n<p>However&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You do have control over it.<\/p>\n<p>Although it may not be in the way you originally thought.<\/p>\n<p>So&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>How do you realize your defining moment and have a breakthrough in your life?<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. The two Rocky&#8217;s-<\/strong> It can and frequently does start off simple. In my case it began when I was 14 going on 15. A friend talked me into going to see a movie with him&#8230;Rocky 2. And within the first five minutes of the movie my life changed&#8230;and my eventual defining moment and first breakthrough in life was under way.<\/p>\n<p>Although it didn&#8217;t happen until a year and four months later when I was 16.<\/p>\n<p>It was because of that movie is when I decided to take on the role of the Rocky character. Except in my case it was going out for the baseball team in high school.<\/p>\n<p>Leading up to this I got into working out.<\/p>\n<p>So I worked out for 4 months to get ready for the baseball tryouts.<\/p>\n<p>The tryouts were for 3 weeks.<\/p>\n<p>And in order to make the team you had to make two &#8220;cuts.&#8221; If you made the first &#8220;cut&#8221; you were still eligible to make the team. If you made the second &#8220;cut&#8221;&#8230;you made the team.<\/p>\n<p>I made the first cut.<\/p>\n<p>I was doing well. We had certain baseball drills we did. I out performed most of the kids.<\/p>\n<p>The coach had us do a mile and a half run. I was finishing ahead of everyone.<\/p>\n<p>We also had a simulated game against the upper class men. In one of these simulated games I batted against an all county pitcher. He threw about 80-90 miles per hour&#8230;and one of his pitches hit me square in the ribs.<\/p>\n<p>Down I went.<\/p>\n<p>And then back up.<\/p>\n<p>Even though I struck out there was a sense that something had taken place&#8230; although I didn&#8217;t know it yet.<\/p>\n<p>Then finally the day came for the final cuts and who was to make the team.<\/p>\n<p>The coach was reading off the names of the kids who didn&#8217;t make the team. One after another. He didn&#8217;t read my name. Then he stopped.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I made the team was going through my mind&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And then he read off my name. I didn&#8217;t make the team.<\/p>\n<p>My heart sank&#8230;because making that team at the time was the most important thing to me.<\/p>\n<p>Seconds after he cut me (and in front of approximately 25 kids&#8230;most of whom I grew up with&#8230;and some who would pick on me) he said&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You have more guts than anyone I&#8217;ve ever seen. Come out for the team next year and you&#8217;ll probably make it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>At the moment he said this I was thinking, &#8220;great well why didn&#8217;t I make it this year.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>However&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Something else happened in that moment. I just wasn&#8217;t sure exactly what it was.<\/p>\n<p>What I did realize though was&#8230;what he said was a similar line in the Rocky movie where the announcer said, &#8220;You have just witnessed the greatest exhibition of guts and stamina in the history of the ring.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The same baseball coach who said that to me&#8230;and cut me from the team&#8230;his name was Rocky.<\/p>\n<p>As a result of this came my defining moment and (first) major breakthrough&#8230;even though I wasn&#8217;t completely aware of it at that moment.<\/p>\n<p>Think about the different situations in your life.<\/p>\n<p>Think about the moments that did and didn&#8217;t go your way&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Because somewhere in there is your defining moment that leads to the breakthrough in your life.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll be coming back to this in a minute.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Your recurring breakthroughs-<\/strong> That day I got cut from the team was the last time I played baseball. Even though I knew I would make the team the following year I never went out for the team. At the time this was out of character for me because I loved playing baseball.<\/p>\n<p>For some reason when Rocky (the baseball coach) made that comment to me my life as I knew it was about to change&#8230;fast.<\/p>\n<p>At the time I was a shy and quiet person&#8230;I became more outgoing.<\/p>\n<p>At the time I was getting somewhat bullied by other kids&#8230;that stopped because I was now standing up for myself.<\/p>\n<p>Leading up to that point in time I was &#8220;conservative&#8221;&#8230;I now started taking more risks.<\/p>\n<p>I went from being unknown to being more popular.<\/p>\n<p>I was more respected.<\/p>\n<p>It also paved the way for me to make a lifetime commitment to working out&#8230;which I still do to this very day.<\/p>\n<p>And just moving forward from the day Rocky made that comment I could tell it was my defining moment. Not only that but it led to all of these other little breakthroughs I experienced&#8230;and still do in many ways to this day.<\/p>\n<p>The most fascinating part of all&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>When Rocky cut me from the team&#8230;in that same moment he &#8220;rejected&#8221; me (cutting me from the team)&#8230;he &#8220;accepted&#8221; me (by making a simple comment that changed the course of my life)<\/p>\n<p>This is the major takeaway for you in your life.<\/p>\n<p>And it goes back to what I said a few minutes ago.<\/p>\n<p>When looking to realize your defining moment and having those breakthroughs in your life&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Look at the different moments that did and didn&#8217;t go your way. In the process of doing so look for the equal amounts of positives and negatives, praise and criticism, support and challenge, pleasure and pain, acceptance and rejection.<\/p>\n<p>Because when you do and are able to see both sides occurring equally&#8230;and simultaneously&#8230;you&#8217;ll find your defining moment.<\/p>\n<p>Along with that you&#8217;ll have a high probability of experiencing a major breakthrough in your life.<\/p>\n<p>And&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll also get into the habit of having recurring breakthroughs.<\/p>\n<p>This is why&#8212;like I said earlier&#8212;you do have control of this. It&#8217;s not some &#8220;random&#8221; thing&#8230;or &#8220;luck&#8221;&#8230;or some type of so called &#8220;karma.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>You do control your destiny&#8230;and those defining moments that make up the breakthroughs in your life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Thank you to all-<\/strong> I never would have thought (back then) that something which turned out to not go the way I wanted&#8230;actually ended up in many ways saving my life&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Because after all, who thinks about not accomplishing what they want&#8230;but then having that turn out to be a &#8216;blessing?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In fact this gives rise to something I&#8217;ve said many times&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;In every crisis there&#8217;s a blessing&#8230;and in every blessing there&#8217;s a crisis.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This is the true essence&#8230;the &#8220;root&#8221; if you will&#8230;to having those defining moments and breakthroughs occur throughout your life.<\/p>\n<p>It also gives rise to 2 of the 5 most important words you&#8217;ll ever say in your life&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Thank you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In my case&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Thank you&#8221; to Rocky (the baseball coach) who made a little comment that changed the course a 16 yr. old kid&#8217;s life.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Thank you&#8221; to the other Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) for creating a character that inspired me to emulate in my own unique way.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Thank you&#8221; to every other person in my life&#8230;family, friends, acquaintances, fellow colleagues, so called &#8220;enemies&#8221;, and even those I&#8217;ve never met who have contributed in some way to my life.<\/p>\n<p>And certainly &#8220;Thank you&#8221; to you for reading what I write&#8230;and for listening to what I speak about.<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to you&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Who can you say &#8220;thank you&#8221; to?<\/p>\n<p>Who has contributed the most to your life?<\/p>\n<p>Who has been there with you and helped you up when you were &#8220;down?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Who said something&#8230;who did something&#8230;that helped you in some way in your life?<\/p>\n<p>Who contributed to you having your own defining moments and breakthroughs in your life?<\/p>\n<p>If you haven&#8217;t taken the time to thank all of these people&#8230;now is the time to do so.<\/p>\n<p>And most of all&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Thank yourself&#8221; for all that you do.<\/p>\n<p>Because whether you know it or not&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You do contribute a tremendous amount of value to the world in your own unique and special way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>They laughed at you. They ignored you. In some cases they even bullied you. Then one of two things happen&#8230;.possibly even both. Yet&#8230; The strangest part of all is that at first you may not even be aware of it. And you have a high probability of it coming from an unlikely source&#8230;out of the&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":556,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-251","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How To Realize Your Defining Moment And Have A Breakthrough In Your Life - Because This Is Your Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/becausethisisyourlife\/2014\/11\/how-to-realize-your-defining-moment-and-have-a-breakthrough-in-your-life.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How To Realize Your Defining Moment And Have A Breakthrough In Your Life - Because This Is Your Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"They laughed at you. They ignored you. In some cases they even bullied you. Then one of two things happen&#8230;.possibly even both. Yet&#8230; The strangest part of all is that at first you may not even be aware of it. 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