{"id":982,"date":"2012-05-20T06:23:15","date_gmt":"2012-05-20T06:23:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=982"},"modified":"2012-05-20T06:23:15","modified_gmt":"2012-05-20T06:23:15","slug":"qa-he-loves-me-but-im-not-sure-if-i-love-him-back-will-it-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/05\/qa-he-loves-me-but-im-not-sure-if-i-love-him-back-will-it-work.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: \u201cHe loves me, but I\u2019m not sure if I love him back; will it work?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
She loves me not<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n\u201cI’m planning to start a relationship with a person who used to be my college classmate. He loves me, but I am not sure about my feelings. But, I really need to start dating someone. Do you think it will work?\u201d<\/p>\n

So, do I think it will work? The short answer is, no.
\nFor the longer answer, let\u2019s break this down into pieces:
\nYou are planning to start a relationship; why \u201cplanning\u201d a relationship? \u00a0What is there to plan?
\nEither you are involved, or you aren\u2019t; if you feel like there are things in your life that would be an obstacle to the relationship, or the relationship is<\/em> the obstacle, then that\u2019s not good.<\/p>\n

The guy in question is a former college classmate, who loves you; how can he love you if you haven\u2019t had a relationship yet?\u00a0 Notice, you described him as a \u2018former classmate\u2019, not a friend.\u00a0 Yet, you must have had enough interactions with him for him to have developed feelings, and let you know that he wants a relationship.<\/p>\n

You aren\u2019t sure about your feelings, but you \u2018really need\u2019 to start dating someone\u2026why? It\u2019s a very odd thing to say you really need to date someone.\u00a0 More importantly, if you know this guy has real feelings for you, but you just want to date \u2018someone\u2019, then it\u2019s really not fair to him, and will inevitably lead to him getting hurt.<\/p>\n

So, rather than get involved with him, or anyone, just because you can, take some time to figure exactly what it is that you want.\u00a0\u00a0 More importantly, make sure you have a firm foundation of loving yourself first<\/a>; since you can\u2019t love anyone, or let anyone love you any more than you love yourself.\u00a0 Once you are clear on that, then the right guy won\u2019t be too hard to find<\/a>!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters
\nWriter, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalter<\/a>s<\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI’m planning to start a relationship with a person who used to be my college classmate. He loves me, but I am not sure about my feelings. But, I really need to start dating someone. Do you think it will work?\u201d So, do I think it will work? The short answer…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-982","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: \u201cHe loves me, but I\u2019m not sure if I love him back; will it work?\u201d - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/05\/qa-he-loves-me-but-im-not-sure-if-i-love-him-back-will-it-work.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: \u201cHe loves me, but I\u2019m not sure if I love him back; will it work?\u201d - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI’m planning to start a relationship with a person who used to be my college classmate. He loves me, but I am not sure about my feelings. But, I really need to start dating someone. Do you think it will work?\u201d So, do I think it will work? The short answer…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/05\/qa-he-loves-me-but-im-not-sure-if-i-love-him-back-will-it-work.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-05-20T06:23:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/05\/Date_Friends_Ex_300x400_0-225x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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Do you think it will work?\u201d So, do I think it will work? The short answer…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/05\/qa-he-loves-me-but-im-not-sure-if-i-love-him-back-will-it-work.html","og_site_name":"A Reason to Smile","article_published_time":"2012-05-20T06:23:15+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/05\/Date_Friends_Ex_300x400_0-225x300.jpg"}],"author":"B. 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He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. 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