{"id":978,"date":"2012-05-19T05:44:48","date_gmt":"2012-05-19T05:44:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=978"},"modified":"2012-05-19T05:44:48","modified_gmt":"2012-05-19T05:44:48","slug":"qa-he-wants-his-space-but-i-dont-want-to-lose-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/05\/qa-he-wants-his-space-but-i-dont-want-to-lose-him.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: \u201cHe wants his space, but I don\u2019t want to lose him\u2026.\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
He might be doing you a favor....<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n\u201cI have been in a long distance relationship since January; I’ve had an amazing time and he was the best thing in my life.\u00a0 But, he\u2019s said he wants to tone it down; feelings have changed and he wants to ‘see the world’. I don’t want to lose him, what should I do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s break this one down into pieces:
\nYou\u2019ve been in a long distance relationship since January; roughly five months.
\nIt\u2019s been \u2018amazing\u2019 and \u2018the best thing in your life\u2019.
\nNow, his feelings have changed, and he wants to see the world (aka, other people).
\nYou don\u2019t want to lose him.<\/p>\n

So, what should you do?
\nThe simple answer is: let him go.\u00a0 For reasons we\u2019ve talked about before<\/a>, you can\u2019t chase, nag, or beg him, or any man, into loving you.\u00a0 If he is telling you he wants to see other people, believe him; and more importantly, let him go.<\/p>\n

The reason why you should let him go, is one of two things is going on inside his head.\u00a0 Either one, things got really hot and heavy too fast, and as fast as he got into the relationship, he got over it.\u00a0 This might be hard to hear, but if it\u2019s the truth, it\u2019s the truth.<\/p>\n

The second possibility is that he really does love you, but the intensity of all of it is scaring him and making him want to run away; and the harder you push, the more anxiety he\u2019ll feel.<\/p>\n

Either way, the answer is the same.\u00a0 However, if you really do want him back, here is how to do it:\u00a0 after you let him go,\u00a0let him see that you are moving on, too<\/em>. When you talk, be pleasant, but let him know you are going out and having fun with friends; when he calls or texts, wait an hour or two before you call him back.\u00a0 No guy likes to see a girl move on, and if he really is just confused, seeing you move on will bring him back faster than anything.<\/p>\n

A better question is: why would you want to chase down someone who wants to get away?<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters
\nWriter, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalter<\/a>s<\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring: \u201cI have been in a long distance relationship since January; I’ve had an amazing time and he was the best thing in my life.\u00a0 But, he\u2019s said he wants to tone it down; feelings have changed and he wants to ‘see the world’. I don’t want to lose him, what should…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,39,35,29,81,38,92,31,46,28,43,45,78],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,54,11,36,14,23,53,26,25,51,24,42,56],"class_list":["post-978","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-loss","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-hope","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-self-talk","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: \u201cHe wants his space, but I don\u2019t want to lose him\u2026.\u201d - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/05\/qa-he-wants-his-space-but-i-dont-want-to-lose-him.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: \u201cHe wants his space, but I don\u2019t want to lose him\u2026.\u201d - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"  Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring: \u201cI have been in a long distance relationship since January; I’ve had an amazing time and he was the best thing in my life.\u00a0 But, he\u2019s said he wants to tone it down; feelings have changed and he wants to ‘see the world’. 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