{"id":912,"date":"2012-04-21T05:25:47","date_gmt":"2012-04-21T05:25:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=912"},"modified":"2012-04-21T05:25:47","modified_gmt":"2012-04-21T05:25:47","slug":"qa-how-do-i-know-they-are-the-one-or-am-i-afraid-to-be-alone-video","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/04\/qa-how-do-i-know-they-are-the-one-or-am-i-afraid-to-be-alone-video.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: How do I know they are ‘The One’; Or, am I afraid to be alone? (VIDEO)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>(Unedited) questions submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n“Heey. Um, how would I know if I’m with someone ’cause I’m afraid to be alone, or ’cause I actually love someone? Your responses are exact and helpful. Thanks!”<\/p>\n

And,
\n“How would I know if I want him in my life, and no other? And vice versa ..”<\/p>\n

This is a first!
\nFor years, I have been giving people the opportunity to ask me anything<\/a>, and for each question that comes in I answer it either on the radio, video, or article. \u00a0This time, however, I have not only done all three, but we’ve talked about it on the radio twice!<\/p>\n

The first time was on episode 52 of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a>\u00a0along with:
\nGetting people to listen to and *like* you!Why the Secret doesn’t work for some people, a 34 year old virgin, How to know if someone is ‘the one’, why we obsess about celebrities, wealth, fame, and more!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Immediately afterwards, we talked about it yet again on Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a> along with:
\nPOWER! What it is, and how to get it; how to know if someone is ‘the one’; God and the 7 Universal Laws, religion vs education, 11:11, and More!<\/strong><\/p>\n

So…how DO you know when s\/he is ‘the one’?
\nFirst, as we have talked about before: there is no ‘one’<\/a>! \u00a0People come and go in our lives, but some mean more and stay longer than others. \u00a0So if there is no ‘one’, but only people you choose to spend your life with, the real question is: how is it that you don’t know?<\/em><\/p>\n

Honestly: if you’ve been dating someone for more than, say, 6 months; and ESPECIALLY if it’s been 3 or more years, what else are you waiting to see? \u00a0What is it about them that you don’t already know? \u00a0And most\u00a0importantly, can you see yourself with this person 10 years from now?<\/p>\n

If you already know that you don’t want to be with them 10 yeas from now, then no, they aren’t the one. \u00a0If you think you could make it 10 years, do you think you could make it 50? \u00a0Obviously, no one knows what the future holds; but do you think it is possible<\/em>\u00a0that you’d even want to spend 50 years with this person? \u00a0Again, if the answer is no: they aren’t the one for you.<\/p>\n

Now, if you think it is possible<\/em>\u00a0that you could want to be together, but you are still filled with anxiety at the idea, then that’s a good sign that the issue may actually be with you<\/span>, something we talked about on a recent episode of All About You with B. Dave Walters<\/a>:<\/p>\n